great read this, can't wait til the next one
Reapers Passage SPOILERS [update News] Comments Thread [please post comments here]
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Snowship
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Yes part of Tur's plot is out of the bag
great read this, can't wait til the next one
great read this, can't wait til the next one
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Snowship
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the Birds, the Birds.... was it meant to be hitchcockesc
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Paranoid66
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Not really as my alien critters don't tend to attack healthy able Argon. Most likely inspired by my experience of urban dwelling gulls and a fascination with crows and ravens - long story.Snowship wrote:the Birds, the Birds....
was it meant to be hitchcockesc
I thought it would be good to include some form of alien wildlife - just for a change. Although with all that terraforming I wondered how much alien life survived. Perhaps introduced genetically modified or engineered creatures?
Anyway I wondered what would do well during a period of conflict and still infest a city in peace(?) I decided some kind of scavenger bird like animal and went from there.
Is the story straying too far from the Game some opinions would be good?
What I've done so far on the next chapter is all the Hill. I't makes a change from being on a station.
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Snowship
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Ah, Tur how time flows
I don't mind a bit of fleshing out (well the X-universe does need it), more info on the sectors/people/history is always good. It expands character.
Just watch that description doesn't take over from plot
That's something I wish Ego had done more of in the game, flesh out the sectors and thier components etc (planet names/cities, famous people etc). Although I guess that's what the fan-fiction is for
Keep it up Paranoid66
I don't mind a bit of fleshing out (well the X-universe does need it), more info on the sectors/people/history is always good. It expands character.
Just watch that description doesn't take over from plot
That's something I wish Ego had done more of in the game, flesh out the sectors and thier components etc (planet names/cities, famous people etc). Although I guess that's what the fan-fiction is for
Keep it up Paranoid66
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Vanilla Malt Gamestarts
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire"
Vanilla Malt Gamestarts
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire"
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Paranoid66
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Snowship
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ow the agony of a damaged transporter Even SETA can't make it go quick
I'm wondering if the P'Nova is just your raising of the suspence
I'm wondering if the Queen has anything to do with AF4 seeming a little "off" after the rebuild
Even SETA can't make it go quick I'm wondering if the P'Nova is just your raising of the suspence
I'm wondering if the Queen has anything to do with AF4 seeming a little "off" after the rebuild
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Vanilla Malt Gamestarts
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire"
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Paranoid66
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Well Snowship a few answers perhaps, and a few questions. What me
Chapter 83 posted
Monday 3rd December 07
Anyway this feels like a moving along slowly one to me.
As ever look forward to all comments much appreciated
PS 83 One of those periodic Chapters I have felt compelled to...
mess around with - a few times - post posting
the head hurts! 
Chapter 83 posted
Monday 3rd December 07
Anyway this feels like a moving along slowly one to me.
As ever look forward to all comments much appreciated
PS 83 One of those periodic Chapters I have felt compelled to...
mess around with - a few times - post posting
the head hurts! 
![[ external image ]](http://img824.imageshack.us/img824/1369/argonliscjargyleb.jpg){kind=link}
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Snowship
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ooh, technobabble
I'm wondering it Tur's creation won't turn out quite what he expected
anyway, still going strong. Keep it up
I'm wondering it Tur's creation won't turn out quite what he expected
anyway, still going strong. Keep it up
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Vanilla Malt Gamestarts
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire"
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Paranoid66
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Snowship wrote:ooh, technobabble
I'm wondering it Tur's creation won't turn out quite what he expected
Alright I confess I’m guilty.
I do try to keep a lid on the (out of alignment destabilised phase conductor transmission syndrome), but occasionally needs must. I saw lots of obvious difficulties with the Argon to Boron adaptation and so felt compelled to show a few solutions being implemented. Also felt the need to rationalise why ships in X slow to a stop rather than just keep drifting - as you might expect. As to Turs (Frankenstein Monster) ? Nothing in life ever goes quite as expected - at least in my experience - so events especially assumptions in my fiction tend to be a little off the ball. I haven't decided yet how this one will go myself lots and lots of evil and interesting possibilities.
Once again thanks for the comments Snowship.
Sometimes - the extreme lack of dialogue - here in the Creative Forum can be cursed disheartening! -
Snowship
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I wonder where Rav's investigation's going to take him? Into trouble no doubt
Noticed you had Ravn feeling Paranoid! with a capital "P" You're getting to close to the characters
Anyway, nice little filler, hope things start progressing soon (not that I'm against character expansion )
Also it could get confusing for the uninitiated with the multiple personality that is The Devil. I think there was almost 4 names in one paragraph. And once where the devil was thinking yet you called him by his latest on planet alias (forget the name atm)
Don't get dishartened, I bet lots read it, just some might not feel they have anything to say. But we're all here awaiting you next installment
Kepp em coming!
Noticed you had Ravn feeling Paranoid! with a capital "P"
You're getting to close to the characters Anyway, nice little filler, hope things start progressing soon (not that I'm against character expansion
)Also it could get confusing for the uninitiated with the multiple personality that is The Devil. I think there was almost 4 names in one paragraph. And once where the devil was thinking yet you called him by his latest on planet alias (forget the name atm)
Don't get dishartened, I bet lots read it, just some might not feel they have anything to say. But we're all here awaiting you next installment
Kepp em coming!
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Vanilla Malt Gamestarts
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire"
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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire"
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Paranoid66
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For Snowship
As ever thanks for the comments. I have been a bit low and that has fed the desire for feedback.
I suppose I don't really think my story is one people can easily dip into anymore. Rather than new readers starting back at the beginning - so I confess - I may have inadvertently given up on trying to make it too friendly to late dippers, otherwise I really wouldn't be moving forwards at all. I have too many characters and back story to keep reiterating over and over do enough of this as it is.
I admit I like to alternate peoples labels when I have alternates to use so it is not all: said Tur, thought Tur, Tur noted, Tur did. I had hoped this makes it a bit less boring. Anna started me doing this with the PA, the Professor, and so on after reading a few chapters that were all Anna Anna Anna.
Tur of course is a confusing case I despaired at having to have an alias but he dared not use his own identity so up pops Keane Molloy. Due to that alias I'm sometimes not entirely sure what to use to keep everyone fully on track.
In CH85 I tried to be clever using Keane at the end to try and help people remember that name as it would be the label being used for him by the locals on Aladna Hill, unfortunately I also had to use Tur to remind everyone who Keane is while The Devil is just a general reminder that Tur is not a nice chap nor a - standard - Argon, but something else!
I admit it is at times pretty messy as I haven't really got a systematic approach and it probably needs a bit more thought in application. Also it is funny I had great plans to move the plot along this chapter myself, but got sucked in by the characters. I need to cover more ground with less words then I could squeeze more in.
PS
Kind of amusing that Rav is using the excuse of looking after G when he may well steer him into trouble as much as anything else.
As to the other just because your Paranoid is no guarantee they are not out to get you!
As ever thanks for the comments. I have been a bit low and that has fed the desire for feedback.
I suppose I don't really think my story is one people can easily dip into anymore. Rather than new readers starting back at the beginning - so I confess - I may have inadvertently given up on trying to make it too friendly to late dippers, otherwise I really wouldn't be moving forwards at all. I have too many characters and back story to keep reiterating over and over do enough of this as it is.
I admit I like to alternate peoples labels when I have alternates to use so it is not all: said Tur, thought Tur, Tur noted, Tur did. I had hoped this makes it a bit less boring. Anna started me doing this with the PA, the Professor, and so on after reading a few chapters that were all Anna Anna Anna.
Tur of course is a confusing case I despaired at having to have an alias but he dared not use his own identity so up pops Keane Molloy. Due to that alias I'm sometimes not entirely sure what to use to keep everyone fully on track.
In CH85 I tried to be clever using Keane at the end to try and help people remember that name as it would be the label being used for him by the locals on Aladna Hill, unfortunately I also had to use Tur to remind everyone who Keane is while The Devil is just a general reminder that Tur is not a nice chap nor a - standard - Argon, but something else!
I admit it is at times pretty messy as I haven't really got a systematic approach and it probably needs a bit more thought in application. Also it is funny I had great plans to move the plot along this chapter myself, but got sucked in by the characters. I need to cover more ground with less words then I could squeeze more in.
PS
Kind of amusing that Rav is using the excuse of looking after G when he may well steer him into trouble as much as anything else.
As to the other just because your Paranoid is no guarantee they are not out to get you!
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Snowship
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Hey no problem Paranoid66, you write how you feel comfortable. Again as I noted, I'm sure people read the whole, and to me it's very indepth and character driven .
And I understand about mixing the labels up so not to have lots of XXX said this and XXX said that .
And to me the characters are great, especially Ravn, you really feel him stuck in the middle of larger events and swimming very hard .
Although I'm not sure atm how the LoD go with Fey's/Tur's conflict and also with Poly's group. But I'm sure you have an idea
Keeping me guessing dammit
.And I understand about mixing the labels up so not to have lots of XXX said this and XXX said that
.And to me the characters are great, especially Ravn, you really feel him stuck in the middle of larger events and swimming very hard
.Although I'm not sure atm how the LoD go with Fey's/Tur's conflict and also with Poly's group. But I'm sure you have an idea
Keeping me guessing dammit
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Vanilla Malt Gamestarts
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire"
Vanilla Malt Gamestarts
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire"
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Paranoid66
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Guess I came across more defensive than I intended Snowship. When really I was just trying to show a little of my methodology and attempted purpose - such as it is!
Always happy to get your or anybody elses comments including any critique
Back to business
Reapers Passage Chapter 86 posted
Friday 14th December 07
Well you can let me know what you think of this one. Maybe I should have called it Entanglements and Tangents but I couldn't resist.
As ever feel free to discuss
Always happy to get your or anybody elses comments including any critique
Back to business
Reapers Passage Chapter 86 posted
Friday 14th December 07
Well you can let me know what you think of this one. Maybe I should have called it Entanglements and Tangents but I couldn't resist.
As ever feel free to discuss
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Snowship
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Oh I think Jon & Amon are not going to like their trip planetside
Can I take a quess that the The Devil will be on one side and Jon & Co will side with the "President".....
I was wondering why the long plot on The Hill, now I think it's coming together.
And I'm not sure why Garrin wanted to hide buying weapons from Rav, I'm sure Ravn'd have good input
Kepp it coming
Can I take a quess that the The Devil will be on one side and Jon & Co will side with the "President".....
I was wondering why the long plot on The Hill, now I think it's coming together.
And I'm not sure why Garrin wanted to hide buying weapons from Rav, I'm sure Ravn'd have good input
Kepp it coming
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Vanilla Malt Gamestarts
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire"
Vanilla Malt Gamestarts
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire"
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Paranoid66
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Well Snowship a lot more about Aladna Hill in this one. Though oddly little from Tur. Also the brief return of an old favourite. Getting hard to fit everyone in.
Reapers Passage Chapter 87 posted
Sunday 16th December 07
I got into a nice flow doing this one. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did typing it in.
As ever comments welcome and appreciated by P66
Reapers Passage Chapter 87 posted
Sunday 16th December 07
I got into a nice flow doing this one. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did typing it in.
As ever comments welcome and appreciated by P66
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Snowship
- Posts: 1350
- Joined: Wed, 4. Jan 06, 03:28
Interesting developments 
Is Sly in with Jon's plans??
Wonder if the "carrier" Ploppy Poop is after is a TL or M1
Good chapter, looking forward to the next
Is Sly in with Jon's plans??
Wonder if the "carrier" Ploppy Poop is after is a TL or M1
Good chapter, looking forward to the next
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Vanilla Malt Gamestarts
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire"
Vanilla Malt Gamestarts
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire"