Draxis' Brew Chapter 1

[Subhazardman]

Oslo gave the vending machine a kick, taking out his daily aggressions on something that could only dispense drinks as it's council and solace for the angry factory worker. Everything was in disrepair in the Draxis Brew complex. Ever since he started working there two jazuras ago, things had deteriorated at a consistant basis. The only thing that he looked forward to on a daily basis, a cold can of Teladi Cola, required a few kicks and whacks before he could finally get what he wanted. Some days he got lucky and the thing spit out two, other days he wouldn't get any drink.

Atleast it was oslo's break time, a whole blessed 15 minutes of it. It would take another 2 hours of working before he could go home, and even then, his apartment was in wheat farm m alpha on the other end of the complex, and the shuttle train was broken. So he'd have to walk along the service tunnels just like everything else.

The only reason Oslo kept working in this dump was the pay. Space fuel was quite the commodity, and it sold rather well in Presidents end, the only safe sector just outside of eleana's fortune which was adjacent to a pirate sector and a paranid sector. They got loads of business, and the three wheat farms connected to the complex insured that they had plenty of resources to make brew.

Oslo sipped his cola, thinking about what it would be like working on a wheat farm. Wheat farms were a little surreal. Farmers harvesting grain in atmospheric generators was quite an odd sight, as the station couldn't afford any robotic harvesters. You could easily forget you were in space after spending hours in a field with a simulated argon sky and the smell of fresh grasses filling your nostrils.

It was about time for Oslo to go, his break was almost up, he could tell because his cola was almost out. He was a slow drinker, preferred to savor the little things he had left. Just a few more months and he could get back home and start spending his new wealth.

He tossed the can into the trash, pulled his rubber gloves on, and refastened his breath mask before heading back into the distillery. Another day, another credit.

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Light... then movement... and lots of it. He could feel that he was spinning, yet there was no wind rushing past his ears. He could only see black, with a smattering of white streaks and a few fuzzy orange objects plus one purple one every half second as he spun like a top. A beep resonated into his ears, which was then accompanied by a voice that he could not place or locate 'Anti Rotation thrusters activated'. The black was then replaced by a soft gray and a bit of orange, until finally he began to slow his chaotic movements. He could see now... he was... he was in space! But how? How the hell did he get here? With some careful adjustments he used his directional space suit thrusters to turn in the direction of the 'orange fuzzy objects' that he had seen in his rotational madness. It was a ship, well what was left of a ship that is. A nova, split in half with gasses and orange flames spewing from it's 'wound'. Looked to be the work of a laser. Now where was that purple thing he saw?

A few more gentle adjustments to his thrusters would indeed reveal the purple thing. Another ship, however this one was intact, and bearing down on him fast. It was an odd looking ship, pyramidal in shape, and lined with purple lights. Something deep down inside told him that this ship was to be feared. He then suddenly realized, that he didn't exactly remember who 'he' was, and the sharp hissing sound inside his helmet along with the thick cone of oxygen spraying from his neck part of the suit could only mean that the ejection hadn't gone smoothly. The air already felt thin.

[Syndrome]

A very open-ended beginning if you ask me. That's not a bad thing btw.

Three things I noticed:

End of paragraph 1:
"Some days he got lucky and the thing spit out two, some days he wouldn't get any drink." You might want to change it to: "Some days he got lucky and the thing spit out two, other days he wouldn't get any drink." It sounds a bit more natural.

Paragraph 3. In X3, there is no Paranid sector next to Elena's Fortune.

Last paragraph: "He tosses the can into the trash, pulled his rubber gloves on..." should be: "He tossed the can into the trash, pulled his rubber gloves on..."

Otherwise good stuff.

[Subhazardman]

Thankyou Syndrome!

I've never read fan-fic before, however I've heard that they are notoriously bad, as they tend to never develop their characters and just thrust them into heroics without any rhyme or reason.

The story is pretty much going to reflect on the tendencies and strategies of X3 players, and what I would imagine would happen on a personal scale to the people the players affect.

Oslo works in a neglected 3 Wheat 1 Distillery Complex Hub, which is the most common complexes people make in X3, and you never have to worry about them because they're practically self sufficient (with one energy CAG)

I made fixes to the story, I'm new to the X3 universe.

Is it two pirate sectors? I was confused. I know the paranid are near there though.

[Syndrome]

About 'fan-fic', I can assure you it is definitely not notoriously bad, at least the X stuff. Have you read The Zig's Terraformer Dreams? It is one of the best fan-fics I've read if not the best (although I haven't read Farnham's Legend yet).

South of Elena's Fortune is Split Fire. South of Split fire is a Paranid sector (sorry, the name escapes me).

[Subhazardman]

Meh, well, it's hard to remember because it's either priest something or empire something.

Would you or anyone else be interested in a continuation of this story?

[Syndrome]

I would be as long as it involves some sort of story. It might turn into a bit of a documentary otherwise.

EDIT: Oh yes. I have one request if you do continue this story. Please keep it in one thread as far as possible. It's easier for everyone that way.

[Subhazardman]

I'll keep the chapters in one thread. The chapters will be long, I would imagine this story will probably have only 4 chapters

Oh, and UPDATED!

[Syndrome]

Good stuff.

[SOTS]

I know what you mean about lack of character development. I'm trying to avoid this in my thread, but, no one having told me much about it, I'm not sure how successful I'm being. I know my characters are much less one-dimensional than they were when I started, but there you go.

Also, nice start, and I'm looking forward to more

As far as I know, Farnham's Legend is the original fanfic made for the X Universe. Someone said it is the Bible for all fans X. I can't remember who, though. Read it myself, and it answered a few questions (having not played anything earlier than X2).

[Paranoid66]

Nice very compact up close and personal!

[Subhazardman]

Update tonight

[Subhazardman]

Wow, I wrote a fan fic? I barely remember this.

Perhaps I should add some more.

[Boro Pi]

Peace,

I'm curious, why is this guy's name Oslo?

Sir Boro Pi

[Subhazardman]

Ask me a few years ago.

[Captain Chris sTc]

I'm curious, why is this guy's name Oslo?

[Boro Pi]

Peace,

Hey cool, I'm testpilot of a time-machine.

Sir Boro Pi

[Subhazardman]

It needs some revision, but if you guys like my writing so far, I can make some new 'episodes'

Whaddya say?