Homebound - ch 4 completed (31/10/04)

[Mercenary]

Previous chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3

Completed under the +++++++

-

Chapter 4.

The Defiance crossed the gate threshold, and when it emerged on the other side Tor hit the full reverse thrusters to bring the ship to a stop. For some time they sat there quietly.

"Looks like this isn't Thi'what's'name's Fire." Tor glanced over the ThaManya then back out the screen to the swirls of dense gas surrounding the ship. "Unless of course, someone managed to forget mentioning this minor detail."

ThaManya checked the archive data, "There's no record of this."

Corricel announced, "Something you will be interested in, the scanners can not penetrate through the cloud."

Tor sat in thought for a few moments, "How far can we scan ahead?"

Corricel answered, "Currently, one hundred metres."

Tor glanced over to ThaManya, "Well at least no one saw us arrive. Now, let's try to not to get lost ourselves. Corri, mark position and vector to the gate. We might have to come back this way."

ThaManya said, "I wouldn't recommend flying a straight course. If we encounter the enemy they might use the vector and heading at the point of detection and extrapolate back to the gate."

The Defiance moved forward slowly, and after ten k's Tor turned the ship ninety degrees horizontally, and after another five k's, he banked to a vertical vector and maintained the direction. Keeping his eyes focused for anything that might be lurking within the nebula they remained silent.

Dark shapes loomed in the flickering of an ionization discharge. Tor stopped the ship and looked, "Looks like we've found a couple of asteroids."

Corricel reported, "There is a reduction in the cloud density on that vector, although my scanners cannot confirm the presence of asteroids, the indication is that we will find the edge of the nebula."

Tor pressed the thruster control and moved the ship onto the new heading. "Corri, are we able to jump back to the other sector if we need to?"

"Confirmed."

Visually things did not change much, other than Tor realised they were heading towards the sectors sun as the asteroids created dark shadows through the lighter haze. Questions came to his mind why the solar winds did not disperse the gasses, but his concentration was on trying to see the edge of the cloud.

The number of asteroids looming dark increased by three in different directions. As the Defiance flew between them he felt curiously uncomfortable. The cloud dissipated quickly as they crossed out into the void.

Tor swore loudly and hit the main thruster to maximum but had not removed the restrictor. All around him was the unmistakable lattice formation of a Khaak station not the asteroids he had originally taken them for.

It was also still inhabited and buzzing with fighters. The Khaak taken somewhat by surprise to find an unknown vessel within their midst reacted slightly slower than normal but then swarmed. Beam lasers slashed and sliced from the small fast scout ships and interceptors.

The Defiance rocked and kicked with continued impacts, Corricel activated the weapons systems and soon the smaller Khaak ships were exploding on all sides, as the particle weapons ripped through their shields.

Tor turned sharply to avoid a heavy fighter intent on ramming them. He caught sight of a flash, "What was that?"

Corricel answered, "Wormhole opening. New ships have arrived."

"What do you mean wormhole?"

"The Khaak have jumpdrive capability or something similar."

Tor swore again. ThaManya ran her hands over the terminal, "Corricel, can you determine if they can track us if we make a jump?"

"Technically yes, if they can determine the wormhole signature direction and energy level."

Tor banked hard to the left and the particle beams finished off a Khaak heavy fighter. "Are you telling me, we shouldn't jump?"

"Shields at eighty percent."

ThaManya looked around quickly, "If they have the same technology. They might be able to follow us."

Tor gritted his teeth as he closed in on another heavy fighter that had been pummeling the shields, "Great, any other brilliant insights."

Corricel announced, "Large buggy capital ships with spinning arms are closing in."

The Defiance ploughed through the expanding cloud of a former Khaak ship. Tor looked for his next target, "Corri, that wasn't funny."

ThaManya was worried, very worried. She could only assume that Tor was either too preoccupied to become the same or too used to danger to be bothered by it. Somehow she liked to think the latter and that calmed her rising panic, slightly.

"Still with us, kiddo?" Tor asked as the ship dived between the connecting tubes of the station.

ThaManya struggled for words but managed a quiet, "Yes."

"Don't worry, we've been in a lot worse situations than this I'm sure." Another explosion filled the screen. "And Corri this is no time to disagree."

"I had no intention of disagreeing. Khaak Destroyer entering firing range."

"His or ours?"

"Ours or his?"

"His." The Defiance twisted as a searing beam lashed past. The beam made no attempt to track.

ThaManya's heart beat quickened as they narrowly missed a connecting tube.

Corricel directed full particle beam weapons fire against it for as long as it was in range. Small explosions started to ripple out. "Tor, stay within the boundaries of the station."

"Why? Will it help?"

"It will give me time to destroy it."

The Defiance rolled away as more fighters closed in their weapons fire attempting to rake the hull.

Tor checked the status of the shields, they were dipping around sixty percent, "I'd really rather not stay here too long."

Shuddering under the weapon beams of a Destroyer, the Defiance shields glowed brightly for a few sezuras until it broke free, the shield indicator bar had dropped another ten percent.

Increasing the speed of the ship, Tor left the smaller Khaak vessels trailing in his wake, however he still had not activated the interplanetary drive. Checking the shielding levels indicated they had at least recovered the ten percent ripped away by the Destroyer as he came around for another pass of the station.

ThaManya stared at him, "What are you doing?"

"We want to make an impression. A really bad impression." Tor concentrated on getting close but not hitting the superstructure at elevated speeds. "Maybe if we do that they won't want to come find us."

The Destroyer’s beam lasers flashed past the small ship, unable to get precise lock. Both particle beams lashed out on the node as Tor turned the ship tightly around it and then span away, heading towards open space and away from the Nebula, as rippling explosions began to engulf the station.

Disengaging the limiter the Defiance surged forward. Only now, with the sub-space system activated, the shield recovery slowed dramatically. Tor checked the HUD for pursuit, there was a certain amount of disarray behind him. The Khaak Destroyers appeared to be waiting, he wondered if it was to gather the smaller ships. "Find me a jumpgate."

ThaManya responded, "Two gates located, closest one has position marked on HUD."

Turning the ship, it flew sideways as the main thrusters and attitude jets attempted to correct to the new course setting. Tor noted the distance and a quick calculation indicated that they would arrive in ten mizuras. However he would need to slow and make course corrections, otherwise they would enter the gate at an acute angle to the axis.

Wormholes opened up in the distance. Destroyers appeared and moved to obstruct the path.

Corricel took control of the ship and rotated it almost a hundred and eighty degrees. The engines roared. Tor looked surprised, "What's happening."

"We are travelling too fast to avoid a collision and our weapons will not penetrate the shields in time for us to ram. Our vector heading has to change."

Tor shrugged, "You could just have told me."

"No time."

ThaManya called out, "How many energy cells would we use to jump to that gate from here?"

"Five." Corricel began the countdown, "Energising the jumpdrive, activation in ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five." Tor looked over his shoulder and could see the Destroyers dramatically getting larger by the moment and he could now understand the desperation of the situation. "Four, three, two, one, jumping."

The wormhole opened and a moment later the Defiance shot out of the gate entrance sideways. Two Destroyers slid past the screen and Tor gave a cheerful grin and a small wave as he wrestled for control of the flight stick. Beam lasers lashed out, but again the velocity of the ship was too fast to be tracked.

Corricel was not going to yield as the Defiance was brought under control and turned back to the gate.

***********
Three wormholes opened and three Destroyers, two of them had attempted to intercept the Defiance prior to its jump.

Corricel announced, "You have control."

Tor clenched his teeth, "Is this the Tor factor," The Defiance dived as a beam of light lanced past the front of the ship, "you," Another beam skimmed close by as the ship rolled and twisted, "were," A glancing blow barely registered on the shield level before the Defiance dived and rolled, "talking ," Another beam shot across the nose of the ship as Tor pulled sharply up and over the tracking laser, "about."

They crossed the gate activation zone as Corricel answered, "Yes."

He looked over to ThaManya and she stared back, her fingers locked on the control panel in a vice like grip, "What?"

The ship entered the new system, that had been alerted to the presence of the Defiance. Tor engaged the interplanetary drive system, out accelerating the Khaak ships, but kept the speed down to allow manoeuvre engines a chance to have a rapid response effect.

ThaManya calmed herself sufficiently to give an answer that did not require a string of untranslatable profanities, "You need to do this to get home?"

Tor's hand rested lazily on the flightstick and his attention was on the space ahead of him, "All the way. To be truthful, at this moment, I really miss the Xenon."

"The Xenon?"

Tor risked a quick glance over to her and then back to the cockpit window, "As the Khlarakin are to you, so the Xenon are to us. But we won! If we meet those guys I know I'm nearly home."

ThaManya watched Tor's expression harden, the grim determination etched on his face, softly she purred, "You will get home."

The ship rolled and dove as worm holes opened in front of them, Tor called out, "Give me a gate?"

ThaManya hit the console, while Corricel remained curiously quiet, "Two gates located, closest targeted on HUD."

Tor changed course heading, "Give me the furthest one."

ThaManya immediately change the targeting computer and Tor changed direction. Glancing at the distance and speed he tried to determine time to arrival. More wormholes opened ahead of him, "Corri, we need to kill some Khaak. I can't just keep running like this."

The reverse thrusters engaged, and stopped the Defiance ahead, and out of range, of two Khaak destroyers. They continued to close. ThaManya, deeply perplexed, looked towards a pensive Tor.

He glanced across and smiled at ThaManya as the first Destroyer's beam sliced past the shields. The Defiance surged forward, its dual particle beams slashing and raking the hull of the enemy vessel. The strafe drive roared as the laser towers attempted to track the ship.

Corricel announced, "The Defiance is not invincible Tor. Shields at thirty two percent."

Tor had beads of sweat on his brow, as he moved the stick with one hand and operated the various command pads with the other.

"Next assault, I would suggest not sitting and waiting for them to fire the first shot."

Tor banked around, "Find me a weakness Corri."

Two of the Destroyer's laser systems were in flames, however the massive ship rolled to bring other weapons to bare. The second Destroyer was coming round on a new attack vector.

"Avoid a frontal assault. Few weapons can be targeted with a side on encounter."

Tor swung the Defiance around the turning ship and once again the particle beams found there marks. Ruptures in the hull vented flames. The Defiance pulled away sharply as the weapons of the second destroyer pierced the intervening space.

Tor clipped off the speed restrictor and stabbed at the thruster control. The Defiance engines roared as it shot away into clear space, and At two thousand mps Tor cut the throttle, allowing the shields time to recover. Behind him the fractures in the first Destroyer's hull continued to widen until it flared like a small sun the second was in pursuit and rapidly falling behind. He wondered if the vessel would try to jump ahead.

"Everyone okay?"

ThaManya shrugged, "I'm still breathing, so that must be a positive sign."

Tor glanced over to her and smiled, "Let me know if you get bored."

ThaManya tried a smile, "The enemies weapons are .. very powerful."

"Yeah, they are. But it's only the big ships that're giving us a problem. And on this trip you'll know more about them then they do about you. Just think when we get back you'll have all the tactical data you need."

ThaManya looked as though she was about to say something but Corricel cut in, "Maybe that should be, 'if' we get back."

Tor looked at the shield indicator as it climbed back to full health, "Always the pessimist. Corri. Find me the next sector gate and give me some sort of ETA."

"I have three more gates on long range scanners. We are not heading towards any of them. Updating positions on the HUD.

ThaManya studied the instruments, "There's a heavy concentration of Khaak ships around a small asteroid field and around the forth planet. However there's no sign of transit traffic in the rest of the sector."

Tor considered this for a moment, "I guess they got fed up with long journeys." He fell silent and leant forward to select a distant gate.

Corri reported, "The Khaak Destroyer has increased velocity to intercept. At our current speed it will take us approximately eight and a half jazuras to reach the nearest gate."

Tor glanced at the scanner, sure enough the gap between ships was diminishing, at what Tor considered to be an alarming rate. He looked at the shield indicator and registered that it was back to full charge. "I don't want that thing jumping just in front of us at near light speed. Let's see if we can't inflict some damage. Corri, ready the jumpdrive, just in case."

"Destination?"

"Somewhere in the nebula of the previous sector. Not too close to the gate though."

"Acknowledged and destination uploaded, trigger response to activation when shields drop below twenty five percent."

The Defiance swung around and Tor kept the speed constant, slowing down would mean spending longer under the withering firepower of the Destroyer. Even so he knew the Defiance own particle beams would, correspondingly, have less time to inflict damage.

At a closing velocity of nearly five thousand mps, he wondered if either ship would strike more than a glancing blow. With the carry past and time to turn, he knew they would be no more than minor irritation to each other. He compared the potential battle with that of an attack by a fighter drone, the weakness of its laser would barely make an impact, only in numbers could they be effective as a weapon.

The captain of the Destroyer, must have had similar thoughts, the ships speed dropped dramatically. Tor had less than a mizura only to think how best to fight the next battle, "Corri, I need you to take control of the control and main thrusters."

"What are you planning?"

"I need to keep the front of the Defiance pointing towards the Destroyer, as we sail past I don't want us to be turning, I can watch what they're up to. Just give me strafe control."

"Shall I switch on collision avoidance?"

Tor smiled, "Keep us within firing range, and let me keep us out of the laser beams."

The battle that ensued was like no other, the nose of the Defiance pointed towards the Khaak ship at all time, strafing randomly around the hull, directional control jets flared in massive bursts constantly dodging the laser towers ranged on the sides of the Khaak vessel.

Tor's expression grim as his fingers gripped the flightstick, the knuckles white as he spasmodically twitched it in response to the energy beams that speared towards them. The shields of the Destroyer blossomed with colour as the Defiance particle beams lashed down and raked the hull.

Bright light hurt his retinas as a passing beam glowed brightly against their own shields, the strength tumbling away before breaking free with the frantic roars of the attitude jets firing around the ship.

The Defiance moved around the Khaak ship, like a small parasite that was never quite on target. The deadly dance continued.

The ship lurched, "Shields at forty percent."

The adrenaline coursed through Tor's veins, he felt it fizzing through his brain, sweat began to bead on his forehead. Rolling down, the salt stung his eyes, and a quick wipe with the back of his left sleeve did little to help. His focus remained on the constant shafts of light lancing out from the laser defences. One rippled with explosions and Tor silently hoped it was the first sign of victory.

Another beam lanced out, virtually too late Tor witnessed the flare of the tower, and with a sharp reflexes he slammed the slick across, the adrenaline burning inside heightened his awareness of time and all too slowly he felt the ship move, it felt dull and lethargic as the thrusters roared to capacity, and the shields were impacted, flaring brilliant white.

The particle beams flared back and as suddenly as the beam struck it stopped, the tower exploding on the side of the Destroyer.

"Shields at thirty two percent."

The Khaak ship rolled as all remaining energy was diverted to the depleated shields. The pulsing of the Defiance weapons arced down as vents opened up in the ship. Rippling explosions tore along the Destroyer as the Defiance turned and shot away, accelerating to maximum speed. The huge revolving arms, torn away by successive explosions tumbled and spewed burning gases. Eventually they flare brightly, as the remaining gases reached explosive volumes, and the metal tore itself apart.

Tor glanced over to ThaManya, sweat having left faint silvery lines down the side of his face. He moved uncomfortably in his seat. She sat in silence, wide eyed and, if Tor read the expression correctly, in a state of shock.

"We did survive."

ThaManya's eyes swiveled towards him, but she said nothing.

Corricel responded, "Yes, we are all alive."

"Tough one that." Tor was impressed the second Destroyer had put up such a good fight, bearing in mind the ease at which Corricel had eliminated the first.

The Khaak now appeared less interested in the new arrival and made no immediate move to intercept.

+++++
In the hope that it would give them more time to react, Tor kept the ship at half maximum speed. For the first time since encountering this violent race they appeared to have taken the stance of not attempting to stop him. He wondered how long it would last.

The mood of the ship was cautious and quiet, ThaManya busied herself looking through the gathered data and trying to match the current sector with anything they might have on record. She drew a blank. As they progressed she logged a record of the positions of major stars and patterns of stars.

The gate approached fast, Tor made his mind up that they would need to return back to the first sector if they found no indication of the way home soon. There was still the other gate to examine in the first sector, and several more since.

They entered the new sector. He engaged the engines to full and spiraled away as incoming fire streaked past and tried to track his position. Beams of light flashed in the shields and lanced past. Heavy fighters shot past, wormholes opened bringing more clusters that separated, the small scouts rushing forward in headlong charges firing weapons, to become rapidly expanding gases of superheated material under the particle beams of the Defiance.

Out pacing and out accelerating the massive swarm of ships, Tor took several deep breaths to calm himself from the surprise. He took one look at the shield indicator and knew it had been a close thing.

"What happened to jumping at twenty five percent, Corri?"

"I concluded that we were safe after the destruction of the Destroyer. A small miscalculation. I will ensure the drive is prepared at the next gate."

"Be sure that you do, single figure shield strength is not something I like getting accustomed to." Tor looked over to ThaManya, "Where's the next gate."

ThaManya was not sure how they survived and for the duration of the battle had kept her eyes on the long range scanners, if she was to die here then, to her mind, she would rather not see the plasma bolt that spelt her ultimate demise.

Without looking up she growled quietly, "There are three gates, to choose from."

"Incoming ships on an intercept vector." Corricel announced.

Tor studied the HUD, "I think we've outstayed our welcome long enough. Corri, mark the positions of the gates and calculate the energy cell consumption to reach." He stopped, "Corri, ghost ship, can you track it?"

ThaManya glanced out of the cockpit window. A pale shimmering ship, almost ethereal in appearance, drifted close by and matched their speed. The vessel turned and Tor steered the Defiance to follow the new vector heading, suddenly the ghost ship shot away at near light speed.

"Object is no longer on scanners."

Tor glanced at ThaManya, "Where are we heading?"

"There's a gate on the far side of the system. Our current vector takes us straight to it."

"Log it and let's go home." After the combat Tor was coming to the conclusion that the changes had made the seemingly indestructible Defiance uncomfortably vulnerable. The nagging doubt that this was not the same ship that flew through the core of a destroyer to escape the trap, burned brightly in his mind.

"Position logged and engaging jumpdrive."

After the Defiance disappeared a Khaak Destroyer and Carrier stationed themselves near the point of departure.


The swirling gases of the nebula enveloped the ship, moving from their position they sat waiting to see if any new wormholes would open up. In absolute silence they waited for thirty mizuras, Tor leant forward, "Okay lets get back through the gate."

The emptiness of Barren Edge was a welcome relief and Tor set the autopilot on and went to crash out on the bunk. ThaManya remained at her station and took the time to study the data logs. Tor passed into a restless sleep. He had faced the Khaak once again and old nightmares were rekindled.

Near to the gate ThaManya stirred from her study and glanced at Tor as he turned and twisted uncomfortably. She walked over to him and looked down, sweat beaded across his forehead and she wondered dreams would cause such a reaction.

Suddenly he jerked away and looked around, panic etched on every feature, his eyes wild and staring. She stood back as in a few fleeting moments he realised it was just a dream and his expression of calm swept over him.

"Are we nearly home?"

ThaManya nodded, "What were you dreaming?"

Tor gave a rueful smile and shook his head, "Something unpleasant."

"They say dreams are a window on the soul. Some can predict the future. Do you believe that?"

Tor reflected on the fading images caught in his mind and looked at her, "If that were true then I am damned, and everyone is going to die. I sincerely hope that's not the case."

"Entering sector Hetki's Ocean."

They both glanced out of the cockpit screen as the wormhole opened. The sight of the defence grid around the gate initially alarmed Tor as it had been expanded considerably and he had little doubt that anything even vaguely unfriendly would be atomised in a blizzard of lasers. The worry that he might not be recognised as an ally faded as the grid remained passive.

Four Mohrabas Destroyers were in the sector with eight Corvette class warships. Tor looked over to ThaManya, "Looks like ThiGan has been busy."

"The captain of the Hu'uron is hailing us."

"Put them on viewer."

ThiJuratti appeared on the holo-projector. Tor did not recognise the name but the captain appeared familiar even if he could not place where he might have seen him. The captain had bright emerald green eyes that contrasted strongly against the more subdued pattern of his silver grey fur, his expression was that of curiosity.

"You have been away longer than anticipated. Did you find that which you search for?"

"Not yet captain, but we have found Khlarakin beyond the next sector. However we masked our return and it will be a while before they stumble upon the gate." Tor had expected more of a reaction from the captain at the mention of the enemy they feared for generations, but the captain gave a small shrug.

"Did you engage them?"

ThaManya cut in before Tor answered, "Yes, Sir. We eliminated one station, a number of destroyer class vessels and a considerable number of fighters. Sir."

There was the slight twitch of a smile from the captain, "The enemy doesn't sound so powerful. Upload your data so we can witness how such victories were achieved."

ThaManya tapped on the console, "Data is being transmitted, Sir."

"ThiGan is expecting you aboard the TaGohlen. You will find them near the asteroid field." ThiJuratti closed the com.

Tor glanced over to ThaManya, "Corri, locate the TaGohlen."

"Position marked on HUD."

He engaged the main engines and set course. With a rough calculation he estimated it would be fifteen mizuras before they reached the Destroyer. Looking at the extended sector chart he noted that a destroyer sat at each of the gates with two patrolling warships nearby. The TaGohlen had stationed itself near the largest of the asteroids around which there appeared to be a defence grid established. He glanced over to ThaManya, "What are they up to?"

She looked over to see what had caught his attention, "Establishing a base. They will core out the centre of the asteroid, extracting usable materials for the construction of habitats."

"The first new home outside the core system and you were here to see it being built. That's something to tell the cubs in years to come."

ThaManya smiled, "Yes, it will be."

The Mizuras slipped by in idle chat until the Defiance made the final approach to the docking bay.
ThiGan met them as they stepped out of the ship, "Your return is much later than expected, but it is good to see you back." Tor smiled at this uncustomary show of respect from the captain. Who turned to ThaManya, "Your task here is done and I have new orders for you. You will remain on the TaGohlen to appraise us of the Khlarakin and take up post as Science Officer."

She gave a slight bow of the head, "Thank you, Sir."

Tor felt a twinge of sadness as ThiGan looked towards him, "Your ship will be replenished with energy cells so that you may return to your people."

"Thank you, captain."

ThiGan made the warriors gesture of comradeship then turned and walked away. Tor turned to ThaManya, "So is this a promotion?"

ThaManya gave a nod, "It has been a pleasure flying with you, and I hope you find your true home."

Tor smiled, "The pleasure has been all mine. I'm not one for long farewell speeches and I hate goodbyes, so take care and drop by anytime you're in the sector." He tried to imitate the Mohrabas sign for long life and good health.

ThaManya gave a short laugh and showed him the correct sign. She then turned and followed the captain. Tor watched her leave and stepped back inside the Defiance as the automatic loading arm moved freight into the cargo hold.

"Loading is complete and we have clearance to depart."

[Adamskini]

oooooh gooody

found typo .. maybe

"Looks like this isn't Thi'what's'name's Fire." Tor glanced over the ThaManya then back

should the be to?

[Gandalf The White]

Very nice one Merc! nice to see him back in action again! keep it coming!

[THESPEEKER]

Exellent first part

sitting on edge of seat waiting for the next bit

[KiwiNZ]

WOOHOO! That had my heart beat raised a few notches. Very good part. At last we see some action. I guess this is a more advanced version of the Khaak to the first one. Will be interesting to see how that develops!

Looking forward to the next part!

[SteveMill]

Nice action.

[Al]

About time we had some more of that. Keep it coming as I guess there is probably going to be more of the same coming up real soon

Al

[Quetz]

Great Action Merc! Havent seen someinthg like that in a while

"Large buggy capital ships with spinning arms are closing in."

hehehe

Quetz

[Mercenary]

Cheers all

[Jenantar]

I think this story really flows on great!
One thing though... It felt strange when sweety changed name...
Not that it is not good. But would it not be great to see "sweety" come in some sort of situation when she really showed her loalty and friendship towards Tor. Perhaps the khaak got interrested in Tor´s way to survive as long as he had. And that he was captured by the khaak... Or something. And that "Sweety" came and eventually rescued him. Towards all ods she succeeded. Or they both got captured, sweety escaped, could not be able to take all herself, got back to the Mohrabas, asked for help, the Mohrabas emperor cordinated a plan with "Sweety". And off they go.
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Or the reverse, "Sweety" got Tor out by herself, And they kicked ass. But that version would be really almighty... Perhaps the old Alien ship comes by again as it felt that a ship with slightly the same readings as its own on the long range scanners and got curious. ? =)

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Well... I do REALLY think the story is GREAT. And just waiting for the next chapter to come out. But something I miss is "Sweety" and Tor picking up a more close friendship. The moment when "Sweety" sacrified her ship towards the Mohraba destryer to get Tor back... That seemed so weak..
So perhaps some awsome "Sweety" rescue mission; "Bring Tor back at all costs" could be performed against the Khaak. And in the same way Tor would gain some really usefull information regarding the Khaak. Could be really usefull for further chapters or even parts...

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K... this was perhaps an annoying message. But I did not feel that anyone else brought it up. And I will from time to time drop by again to ease my mind

Hope the story comes out nicely. And wathever it might be. I am confident in you doing it right. And the meaning of that: Keep writing in the same awsome way you always have done! =)

"Alltime fan" Jenantar

[Mercenary]

Hi Jenantar,

Thanks for the feedback, much appreciated.

Sweety's name change was also based on feedback (so yeah I listen to the readers). Anyway the moment could yet arise that you're thinking of but it might not be the way you suggest. (Sometime in the future...perhaps)


Oh, and part 2 added under the *****

[Jenantar]

I happen to be a patient man merc I can wait for as long as it takes. =)
Well... Not for a hundred years... Though I can still wait for a long time. Hehe. But the very chance that my suggestion might be included in the far future... That is enough for me!

Guess I am one of those optimistik guys...

hmm... Seems some words are mixed up with swedish... Sorry for that.

Just gonna repeat myself if im gonna keep typing.

Have a good day merc.
And may the god of creative story typing be with you.

[Jenantar]

Nice bit you added.
Tor and "Sweety" are getting more fierce against the khaak.
I like that.
From a peacfull day to total chaos. And from chaos to a peacefull pauce.
Way the go merc! =)

[KiwiNZ]

Excellent read! Great fight, too. Reminds me of my strafing around the cap ships. Though, I never tried that against a Khaak Destroyer in an M3. Should actually give it a shot once I get to play again. A Barracudacould be good with its ION D's, probably the closest to the particle beam except a KM3.
I guess the Khaak will start to get scared ... two destroyers fallen to a heavy fighter is not a good average. That is if they have communications between each others.

Looking forward to the next installment.

[SteveMill]

Tor glanced at the scanner, sure enough the gap between ships was diminishing at an alarming rate.

Tip I've just picked up from a Visiting Writer from Canada who took one of my seminars. It's a new tip for me too.

Don't tell the reader what to think or feel. If the reader is invested in your characters and you present the situation well, the reader will feel alarmed. If you want to show the characters are alarmed, show it.

Found the battle at the end a little too cursory and clinical but otherwise,

[Golden_Gonads]

You are an evil evil man Mr. Merc.... Writing action orientated pieces for me to read when I'm VERY hungover.... Still, very nice work.



EDIT: And re-reading it, its even better you evil beastie of a man.

--

Goldenus Gonadius

[Gandalf The White]

Very nice Merc! where's the next bit then?

[Al]

Nice one Merc. bit short though........guess that means the next section will be coming along very soon???

Al

[Z0diac]

Get typing man! I read all 3 .PDFs on http://x-universe.kiwi.nu/, but I want, nay, DEMAND more!

Just kidding. I wanted to post here to give my support. I actually felt sad when Tor almost died due to Ghaan's poisoning...

Keep em coming!

[Mercenary]

All,

Cheers for the feedback.

Tor glanced at the scanner, sure enough the gap between ships was diminishing at an alarming rate.

Tip I've just picked up from a Visiting Writer from Canada who took one of my seminars. It's a new tip for me too.

Don't tell the reader what to think or feel. If the reader is invested in your characters and you present the situation well, the reader will feel alarmed. If you want to show the characters are alarmed, show it.

Found the battle at the end a little too cursory and clinical but otherwise,

Good tip, I'll keep an eye out for that.

Battle sequence at the end was a little trimmed, and I've been giving it a lot more thought since, so with the next edit / section I'll give it some more depth.