Aha! No-one's mentioned TV advertisement. Time for a bit of a lark-around
(Not for kids or those of a nervous disposition. Oh, and no offence intended Rusti. Please don't hit me! No, put it away, no NO! AARRGGHH!)
SCENE 1 (generic family scene):
Picture the scene: A family of Argon at the dinner table inside standard crew quarters aboard a station or other form of space-dwelling edifice. They're waiting for Daddy the privateer to come home after a hard day's trading/bounty-hunting/gambling.
Mother (scowling at the kids who are punching each other on the arm): Why don't you two stop that before your father gets home? He works hard to keep us alive, y'know!
(The kids start insulting one another as the door to the corridor outside the quarters bursts open)
Dad: "Hey kids! Hello generic wife whose overwrought and at her wits' end, played by an ageing spinster whose only joys in live are drug abuse and a string of lovers ten years her junior! (You can replace that last bit with "dear" or other form of affectionate greeting for a spouse). Daddy's home, and guess what kids!?"
Mother (under her breath): You got a real job?
Kids: No, tell us daddy! Tell us!
Dad (with a huge, shit-eating grin on his face) We're going to RFB for dinner!
(Kids erupt into joyous, rapturous cries of excitement at the news. The mother/wife seems to turn a shade of light green and groans to herself)
SCENE 2 (The lies and deceit of what the inside of RFB is supposed to look like):
The shot opens to the interior of RFB. Unlike the REAL RFBs in known space, the floor is clean, the staff aren't grouchy, no-one's spitting in the food, there are no screaming kids and the queues are non-existant. As the family tuck in to their "delicious" pieces of "real" Boron tentacles, a gravelly voice does a nifty voice over outlining the many benefits of eating sentient seafood that was produced in the most unhygenic of conditions. The voice goes on to state that it's "fun" and "enjoyable" to eat at RFB, and that it's cheap too, because buckets of Boron guts can be bought for less than the price of an energy cell.
Everyone looks "happy".
SCENE 3 (taking the piss out of the colonel):
A vastly-exaggerated characature of Rusti is seen cleaving away at something underneath the view of the camera. As his arm swings down from an implausable height to chop away at something that goes squish on the fall of each strike of the cleaver, his eyes widen and the already gigantic grin on his face gets even larger. As the image slowly fades to black, the grin gets even wider, the chopping even more frantic, and small red veins in his eyes bulge to extraordinary proportions. At the image is nearly gone, the chop-squish sound becomes louder and heavy grunting and slight giggles are heard as Rusti becomes totally enthralled in his work of savage butchery.
Then, horror of horrors, the universe ends. Abruptly and without warning, because it's the best way to end any commercial.
![[ external image ]](http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y102/pbr/EagDesignlogox3.jpg){kind=link}
![[ external image ]](http://homepage.ntlworld.com/eeqip4/temp/bump.gif){kind=link}