Traders Tale II - Chapter 6 - updated 06/07/03

Official fiction, fan fiction and artwork. Let your talent express itself!

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Al
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Post by Al »

Good stuff merc. Cant wait for more :)

One thing:

Near the end you have "no prizes who". I realise that this is an abbreviated version of "no prizes fo guessing who" but not sure whether its intentional or not. Personally I would stick the rest in.

Al
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

Al wrote:Good stuff merc. Cant wait for more :)

One thing:

Near the end you have "no prizes who". I realise that this is an abbreviated version of "no prizes fo guessing who" but not sure whether its intentional or not. Personally I would stick the rest in.

Al
I spotted that but thought it fine, it being direct speech, which can be ungrammatical.
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Al
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Post by Al »

SteveMill wrote:
Al wrote:Good stuff merc. Cant wait for more :)

One thing:

Near the end you have "no prizes who". I realise that this is an abbreviated version of "no prizes fo guessing who" but not sure whether its intentional or not. Personally I would stick the rest in.

Al
I spotted that
Nah you didn't. You're just saying that :p

Al
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

Al wrote:
SteveMill wrote:
Al wrote:Good stuff merc. Cant wait for more :)

One thing:

Near the end you have "no prizes who". I realise that this is an abbreviated version of "no prizes fo guessing who" but not sure whether its intentional or not. Personally I would stick the rest in.

Al
I spotted that
Nah you didn't. You're just saying that :p

Al
Yes I did, I also knew you were going to say that too, being psychic and all. Kiwinz pulls me up on that type of thing occasionally and that's usually my answer.

And to prove I'm psychic I'm now going to predict Doubting Al will not be reading more of Rogue today. :wink:
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KiwiNZ
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Post by KiwiNZ »

SteveMill wrote: Yes I did, I also knew you were going to say that too, being psychic and all. Kiwinz pulls me up on that type of thing occasionally and that's usually my answer.
Now would I :!: do such a thing :?: :?: Never ever, ask my mother :D
SteveMill wrote: And to prove I'm psychic I'm now going to predict Doubting Al will not be reading more of Rogue today. :wink:


you are just looking for an excuse, lazy sod :lol: :wink:
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Adamskini
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Post by Adamskini »

BIG FIGHT!

Merc, a request ... can u put a date in the topic as to when it was last updated please? makes it easier to track the story through all the posts

\o/
Aug 2000 -> March 2001 - Old Skool Egosoft Forum
March 2001 -> Nov 2002 - THQ forum
Nov 2002 -> now - Current, prettier Egosoft Forum

[anybody remember The Enforcers?!]
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Al
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Post by Al »

SteveMill wrote:

And to prove I'm psychic I'm now going to predict Doubting Al will not be reading more of Rogue today. :wink:
Thats not fair. Dont hold back on Rogues just to make the above prediction true. Think of all the other forum members that want to read it. Tell you what. You post the next chapter and I promise not to read it until tomorrow! Everyones a winner this way ;)

Al
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Mercenary
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Post by Mercenary »

Adamskini wrote:BIG FIGHT!

Merc, a request ... can u put a date in the topic as to when it was last updated please? makes it easier to track the story through all the posts

\o/
:lol:

Yep no problem with the date thing.
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

Al wrote:
SteveMill wrote:

And to prove I'm psychic I'm now going to predict Doubting Al will not be reading more of Rogue today. :wink:
Thats not fair. Dont hold back on Rogues just to make the above prediction true. Think of all the other forum members that want to read it. Tell you what. You post the next chapter and I promise not to read it until tomorrow! Everyones a winner this way ;)

Al
Worked on it during my lunch and was up at 5:30 this morning. Only 600 words so far. Might be able to get some done tomorrow.

It's my birthday so not much will get done this evening.
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Mercenary
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Post by Mercenary »

SteveMill wrote:
It's my birthday so not much will get done this evening.

Happy birthday! 8)
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Al
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Post by Al »

Happy birthday Steve :D

Take the rest of the day off and relax over a beer. Play a little Xtension and generally have a good one.

Al
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KiwiNZ
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Post by KiwiNZ »

Happy Birthday!

you look younger :D
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Mercenary
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Post by Mercenary »

Completed under *********

Brief fight sequence...

Merc
8)
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KiwiNZ
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Post by KiwiNZ »

Excellent finish and good battle action! I wonder about the final casualties. 3 km to the gate are an incredible long way in a ship as slow as an Elite. *hehe* That last bit almost read like he had managed to out-manouver an M2 to crash into an M1 :D

Excellent! Looking forward to the next chapter and result of the fight.

found a few typos:

"that he entered" - that=when
"would soon began" - begin
"as his waited" - he
" Piranhas’ " - Piranhas, no ->'<-
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Aye Capn
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Post by Aye Capn »

Good stuff!

* snaps *
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Mercenary
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Post by Mercenary »

KiwiNZ wrote:Excellent finish and good battle action! I wonder about the final casualties. 3 km to the gate are an incredible long way in a ship as slow as an Elite. *hehe* That last bit almost read like he had managed to out-manouver an M2 to crash into an M1 :D

Excellent! Looking forward to the next chapter and result of the fight.

found a few typos:

"that he entered" - that=when
"would soon began" - begin
"as his waited" - he
" Piranhas’ " - Piranhas, no ->'<-
Cheers Kiwi

Not certain about the that vs when though as 'when' doesn't read too well in the context of the sentence.

Otherwise edited.
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crunn
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Post by crunn »

Very good Merc.

Wish I could write space battles like that.

My favourite character is ever increasingly Sweety.
Looking forward to more.
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Adamskini
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Post by Adamskini »

!

me no likey cliff hangars!

\o/
Aug 2000 -> March 2001 - Old Skool Egosoft Forum
March 2001 -> Nov 2002 - THQ forum
Nov 2002 -> now - Current, prettier Egosoft Forum

[anybody remember The Enforcers?!]
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Moss
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Post by Moss »

Some very nice action images come across during the journey through the Xenon sector, very good stuff, talk about dancing with death, Tor cut it realy close a couple of times there! The new (mother) ship is real scary too, I hope I don't meet one in X2 :o

Along with Crunn i'm finding Sweety definitly getting more interesting! and close to becoming my favorite character, at the moment tho Creed takes first place, poor old Tor comes in at third :P
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

Good cliffhanger. :(
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