The Trouble with Droids - Jake and Ariel 04

[jpwolf]

Part 4...and growing.

The Trouble with Droids

Jake threw down his analyzer.

“Problems?” Ariel asked.

“No, I just wanted to ding up a five thousand credit analyzer. Of course there’s a problem.”

“So tell me what’s wrong.”

“What are you, my therapist?” Jake picked up the analyzer and wiped some dust off of its screen. There was a small crack at the corner that hadn’t been there before. He kicked the droid that leaned against the wall and grunted as he bruised his toes.

“This stupid thing isn’t working like it’s supposed to,” he said as he sat on an empty crate and rubbed his sore foot.

“I never would have guessed.”

“Stow it, babe.”

Ariel was silent for a moment. “You know, it’s not a very attractive droid.”

“Everyone’s a critic,” Jake said as he stood back up and grabbed his socket driver. In no time at all, he had the chest cover off of the droid and was inspecting cables and circuits. Next, his solder pen came out and the smell of scorched wiring wafted up from where he worked.

“You know, for the life of me, I’ve never understood why you gave me a sense of smell,” Ariel said. “The odor of something burning is particularly unpleasant.”

“Yes, and you wouldn’t know that if you couldn’t smell anything.”

“I think I would have preferred to remain ignorant.”

“Sometimes I think the same thing,” he grumbled.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing babe.”

Ariel gave up trying to talk to him. Whenever he had his nose inside one of his many projects he was almost impossible to talk to. If he wasn’t ignoring her, he was being snappish. Ariel wondered if all human males were like that.

His current project was a gangly droid that had been intended to look human, but failed dismally. She didn’t have the heart to tell him that she could, and already had, created a better design. He’d say she was acting superior if she just blurted it out that he was wasting his time. Oh well, one of the first lessons she had learned was to take care not to hurt his feelings when it came to his tinkering. Eventually, she’d find a way to bring up the subject of her own designs.

There was a zap as electricity arced inside the droid’s barrel-shaped chest.

“Ow!” Jake pulled his hands out of the droid chassis and sucked his fingers. “That bloody hurt.”

“Good thing you never gave me a sense of touch. It hurts bad enough when you slip and scorch one of my sensor panels.”

“Do you mind?”

“Not at all. What is it that I’m not supposed to mind?”

Jake grumbled under his breath then set about replacing the droid’s chest cover. After a moment, he stepped back and put down his tools. After a brief scan with the analyzer, he smiled and pressed a switch on the droid’s neck. A short hum came from within the thing and its eyes lit up with a pale blue glow.

“Mark One Utility Droid standing by for orders,” it said in a metallic voice.

“Couldn’t you have given it a better voice,” Ariel asked. “That one sounds like someone scraping a hull panel with majaglit.”

The droid took a step forward. “Understood. Mark One Utility Droid will begin scraping the hull panels. Please provide majaglit.”

Ariel laughed. “I see it has a very literal understanding of the universe.”

“Stow it, Ariel.”

The droid turned. “Understood. Mark One Utility Droid will now stow Ariel.”

“Jacob, if that thing touches me…”

Jacob sighed. “Mark One, standby for further orders.”

“Standing by.”

“Here’s a suggestion,” Ariel said, “Mark One, throw yourself out of the nearest airlock.”

“Understood. Mark One Utility Droid will throw itself out of the nearest airlock.”

“Ariel, cut it out!” Jake yelped.

“Sorry. I was just trying to be helpful.”

The droid picked up a cutting tool. “Please specify. Query: What is Mark One Utility Droid supposed to cut out?”

Jake gingerly took the cutting tool from the droid and pressed the switch on its neck. The thing still needed work; that much was obvious. If he let it run loose as it was, he’d need a new ship. Of course Ariel wasn’t helping. He supposed that she might envy the droid because it could walk around.

With a heavy sigh, he set about dismantling the droid.

“You know Jacob, I’ve been thinking.”

“Really? There’s a first.”

“Ha ha, very funny. You’re a regular comedian. Do you want to hear what I have to say or not?”

“Alright, I’m listening.” He put down the socket driver.

“Well, I’ve been watching you build this thing all along, and I’ve been trying to find ways to improve it.”

“Oh? Just what would you suggest?” He was afraid to know the answer. Ariel’s sense of humor seemed to be a bit wicked lately.

“Well, if you take the harmonics fluctuator and adjust it like so….”

She knew she would have to slowly reveal her own design for a utility droid, but at least it was a start.

[SOTS]

Were there only four?

Being completely selfish and with no regard for your personal sanity and/or physical health: I want more, damnit!