Prologue
Morning Light & Starshine
The first rays of the January morning filtered through the narrow window of the student dormitory and fell on the desk, where scattered books, sketch papers, and empty coffee cups were piled. Tori still lay on the bed, the blanket drawn up to his chest, staring at the ceiling. The monotone hum of the heater was the only sound in the small room, which served both as living space and workspace. It was early, far too early for him, yet his body seemed already programmed to this rhythm.
He turned his head to the side, his gaze landing on the alarm clock, which read six thirty. The digital display felt like a silent judge, showing him that another day awaited, one in which he would have to prove himself – even if only to himself. Slowly, he sat up, stretched his limbs, and let the blanket fall. He briefly studied his reflection in the mirror above the desk. Black, glossy hair, slightly tousled, dark eyes shifting somewhere between blue and green. He had never cared much about his appearance, yet he often noticed how these eyes drew people in, especially women. A detail that both puzzled and unsettled him.
The dorm was still quiet. Only in the hallways could one hear the occasional squeak of doors, footsteps, and muffled laughter from afar. Tori pulled on his dark gray hoodie, comfortable jeans, worn sneakers, and went to the small kitchenette. He set water to boil, ground coffee, glanced at the clock. He liked these morning rituals – they gave the day structure, even when everything else seemed chaotic. As he poured the coffee, he let his thoughts drift.
Yesterday he had skipped another lecture, this time in cultural studies. The professor had put him on the spot with a question, and Tori could only remain silent. It was not the first time such a situation had occurred. Time and again, he felt intellectually superior in his thoughts, yet inferior when it came to asserting himself. The mix of pride and inadequacy was something that accompanied him daily.
With the cup in hand, he sat by the window. Outside, the streets were still empty, only a few students hurrying to their seminars. Tori watched them, talking, laughing, exchanging small gestures. He wondered whether they ever understood that in solitude, one had to create one's own world in order not to be swallowed. In his mind, it all seemed almost like a game, a simulation in which he himself was merely a figure – observing, reflecting, never fully involved.
After finishing his coffee, he turned to his sketches. A few figures, landscapes, small scenes from stories he had yet to write. He did not draw quickly, but deliberately, each line considered, each shading an expression of his inner world. Creativity was his only sanctuary, the place where he could truly be himself.
By eight o’clock, he made his way to the university. The streets had grown busier, the air cold, sharp. A few fellow students crossed his path, offering fleeting nods. “Morning, Tori!” called one, a friendly face from the library. Tori only nodded, a small smile on his lips, and continued on his way. Interaction was rare, yet he knew how to use it strategically – for information, for books, or for the occasional recognition.
Arriving at the university, he headed to the literature lecture. Professors spoke with such enthusiasm about stories that Tori felt almost embarrassed at his own detachment. He took a seat in the back row, pulled out his notebook, and began scribbling his own notes. While the professor spoke, he observed the faces of his classmates, noting details – expressions, posture, reactions. Even if he spoke little, he analyzed every movement, every gesture, almost as if writing a script for life.
Lunch was meager. A sandwich bought on the way, while sitting on a park bench. The sun reflected off the frozen asphalt. Some students chatted nearby, but Tori only listened distantly, his thoughts already back with his figures, with the stories he wanted to write. His hunger was secondary; more important was the mental space he carved for himself, away from the expectations of others.
Back at the dorm, it was already early afternoon. Daylight slanted through the narrow window, casting bright stripes across the worn floor. Tori let his backpack drop carelessly; the keys jingled on impact. His gaze fell on the PC. He sighed, pushed the chairs aside, and sat down. The small rituals he had cultivated over the years helped him shake off the frustration of the university. First, refill the coffee cup, take a deep breath, then start the game.
“X” – his small, controllable world. Not perfect, not real, but logical, consistent. The universe had rules, and he understood them. Unlike the people around him. Unlike the university, which constantly held little humiliations in store. Yet today, he thought as he launched the game client, everything was broken. The character died instantly, every time he loaded the last save. A clipping bug. He gritted his teeth, heart pounding.
Why now? Why always at this moment?
He reached for the mouse, clicked hastily, tried alternate load points, restarts, all to no avail. A surge of anger rose in him – not the normal, controlled anger, but the unbridled, raw fury that boiled when the world revealed its limits. His pulse accelerated, hands trembled. “Damn it!” he shouted into the empty room, striking the monitor. The glass shattered. A sharp fragment cut his hand, and before he could react, something drew the air from him – or perhaps it was something else, something much larger, pulling him inward.
He felt the floor vanish beneath him, light and shadow intertwining. A flickering heat surged through his limbs, and suddenly all his senses were overloaded at once. The smell of coffee, the cold of the room, the hum of the PC – everything became a single, painful vortex. And then, silence.
Chapter 0
Foreign Reality
Tori opened his eyes. Darkness. Only the faint cold of the floor beneath his back and the metallic smell in the air confirmed that he was no longer in his student dorm room. His heart hammered, his pulse like drums in his ears. His hands trembled, still warm from contact with the sharp shards of the monitor. Instinctively, he drew his legs in and pushed himself upright.
The room was small, almost barren, the walls smooth, cold, barely lit. Nothing to orient himself by. Tori’s gaze swept across the surroundings, searching for light switches, handles, anything that resembled normality. In vain. No switches, no door handles, only smooth surfaces and a single small window on the opposite wall.
He walked toward it carefully. With every movement he felt the wound on his hand, the burning on his skin, the ache in his arms. Okay. Stay calm. Proceed logically. He felt along the wall, tried to activate light. Nothing happened. Nothing. Only darkness and the ice-cold floor beneath his feet.
Then he stepped up to the window. His breath lightly fogged the glass, and for a moment he thought that everything was just a dream. But the sight made his heart race. Before him stretched the infinite blackness of space. Beneath him floated a planet, green and blue, immense, so alien and yet alive. This… cannot be. I am not dreaming. This is real.
Behind him something crackled softly, barely audible, yet sharp in the stillness of the room. Tori turned around, and between the shadows shimmered something that looked like a tear in reality, flickering, glittering, unstable. Crackling lines spread across the floor, the room, like a thin, pulsating veil. His gaze followed them. If this… is the rupture… then I have to…
He moved toward it cautiously. Every step was a balance between curiosity and fear. The edges of the rupture flickered and slowly began to close. Instinct and panic set in. Do not lose it. Do not miss it. Now. Tori sprinted, tried to hurl himself through. But his legs were too sluggish, his reflexes too slow. Fragments of reality tore across his arms, his back, his shoulders, burning cuts, deep abrasions. Pain like he had never known before. And suddenly it became clear to him: this was no dream. No game, no nightmare. It was reality. Blood, burning skin, the cold, the incomprehensible room, all of it real.
A metallic hum announced movement. A door in the wall opened, and light flooded in, blinding, harsh, as if it wanted to burn out his pupils. Tori closed his eyes, let out a hoarse sound, tried to shield himself. When he cautiously looked up again, he recognized two humanoid silhouettes. Armor, rigid, impersonal. No faces. No indication whether friend or foe. Only presence, threatening, alien.
They spoke. Words, fast, rhythmic, unintelligible. To Tori, a wall of sounds his brain could not process. Each word like a blow crashing against his concentration. Hunger throbbed in his stomach, thirst burned in his throat. The wounds hurt, every movement a spike. Fear, pain, exhaustion, and confusion blended into a glaring torrent that overwhelmed him.
He staggered back, legs soft as jelly, hands searching for support. Everything blurred, light, shadows, the foreign figures, the burning pain of the cuts. His mind fought desperately against the overload. One last breath, one desperate attempt to stay upright, and then he lost his footing.
His body collapsed. The world spun, everything pulsed, glowed, and blurred. The reality around him, so alien, so unfathomable, was stronger than he was. And finally: unconsciousness.
---
I open my eyes and everything is softly muted, as if the light itself were falling through a veil. My head throbs, every movement a stabbing pain, and my arms feel heavy, as if they were carrying invisible weights. I am lying on something hard, but not uncomfortable, almost like a bed, but different. Above me hang wires and sensors, small lights blinking gently, some displays flickering in colors I cannot classify. My breath pulls heavily through my chest as I try to grasp the scene.
The devices around me look futuristic, too complex to fit anything I know. A heartbeat monitor? Maybe. A scanner? I cannot tell. My first thought is: hospital. I am lying on some kind of medical bed, connected to all these machines. My body feels dulled, and for a moment I wonder if I simply passed out while playing. Had I overexerted myself? Was it a collapse? Had a fellow student or maybe a lecturer found me and called emergency services?
Then the doors open and light floods in, brighter than I can tolerate. I blink and see two people slowly entering. Both wear white uniforms, precise and sterile, like something from hospital films. I want to move, to say something, but my throat feels dry and alien. My heart races. Okay. Stay calm. They are human. They… look human.
But when they speak, it becomes clear: I do not understand a word. It is not just muffled speech or a strange accent. The sounds they form have no meaning to me at all. I try to answer, say, “Hello? I…”, but the words get stuck, fade as if wrapped in cotton. Their faces react, surprised, confused, but not alarmed. They understand me just as little as I understand them.
They go over the displays, check something, point at monitors, type, press buttons, continue murmuring in a language I do not know. My head hurts even more as my brain desperately tries to extract meaning from the sounds. No. This cannot be. This is impossible… I am at home… right? I press my palms against the mattress, searching for grounding, but everything feels alien.
After a few minutes that feel like hours, the two turn around and leave the room. The door closes soundlessly, and the dim light envelops me again. The machines hum softly, a monotone drone, and I lie there alone, my body heavy, my head dulled, my thoughts tangled. My heart still pounds, adrenaline and fear mixing as I try to make sense of where I am.
Hospital… I am… I am in a hospital. But… what about the game? The monitor? Reality?
Everything feels strange, out of place. The sounds, the light, the displays, all too perfect, too clean. I feel like an observer, alien in a world that seems both familiar and unreachable. My hands tremble, and I know that I can do nothing but wait until someone returns or something happens. Alone with this feeling of isolation, uncertainty, and the insatiable urge to understand where I have ended up.
I open my eyes again and immediately notice the difference. No pressure in my head, no paralyzing heaviness anymore, as if I had slept for hours in a fog. My body feels surprisingly fit, muscles loose, the cuts only aching faintly. For a moment I prop myself up on my elbows, breathing deeply. Clarity returns, and with it an indistinct sense of caution and curiosity.
I sit up, stand slowly, and begin to inspect the room more closely. The walls are smooth, metallic, reflecting the dim glow of the devices. Sensors blink in rhythmic intervals, monitors display patterns and numbers I do not understand, yet which somehow feel familiar. A bed, a small table, a chair, everything minimalist, functional, almost clinical. I walk around, tap the surfaces, examine the displays, feel along the walls. Everything is clean, sterile, and at the same time alien. No switches, no obvious doors, only a window through which I once again see the green-blue planet.
I lean briefly against the window frame, breathe deeply, and think about how strange everything is. How did I get here? What happened? My heart beats calmly, but alert. Everything is quiet, only the soft hum of the machines breaks the silence. I feel the tension in my body, still latent since the abrupt arrival.
Suddenly the door opens again. My heart speeds up, reflexes kick in. It is her, the woman from before. But this time I can see more. Long, petrol-colored hair, slightly wavy, tied into a firm ponytail. Purple eyes that almost glow in the dim light. Her skin lightly tanned, like that of a Latina, and the muscles beneath the uniform look strong but not exaggerated. I cannot help but pause and wonder whether this is all natural or supported by some form of modification. She is about 1.70 meters tall, present, but not threatening.
Hardly has she entered the room when a man follows. The same armor I saw upon my arrival, now visible from head to toe. He is a full head taller than I am, massively built, with a gaze that radiates both respect and intimidation. Shaved head, gray eyes, cold but focused. I immediately register every movement, every gesture. Was he one of the men who brought me here? Military? Police?
The woman begins to say something in a language that is still foreign to me, and the man answers calmly. A small, controlled discussion develops, no voice raised, no emotion exaggerated. I have sat back down on the bed, watching attentively, my thoughts racing. Somehow the language seems familiar, as if I had heard it somewhere before… but what in the world is this?
The man steps toward me while the woman remains in the background. He places a small device on the table beside me and begins to gesture, as if prompting me to speak. Hesitantly, I do.
I say my name: “Tori Grau…”
My voice sounds hoarse, alien in the stillness of the room. But as I begin to tell what happened, I feel a weight lift from me. Words, thoughts, explanations, everything I have felt since the incident with the monitor finally becomes tangible, articulated. After a few minutes, the man nods, taps on his device, and suddenly I hear the words clearly. Translated. It sounds monotone, neutral, but understandable.
“I am Tahl Brenna,” the voice from the device says. “Chief of Security of the Argon Trade Station Alpha One, Planet Argon Prime.”
I flinch. My brain tries to process the information. Trade station, Argon Prime, chief of security, terms that sound like science fiction, and yet everything sounds real. The monitors spike, alarm messages flicker, and immediately the woman steps closer, checks the displays, her hands fast and precise. She admonishes Tahl that he should not put me, the patient, into a state of shock.
“Valentina Esposito,” someone says, apparently her introducing herself.
I cautiously try to form a question, whether they believe me, whether something like this has happened before.
Tahl shrugs. “Never with someone who appeared suddenly. But… there are some reports of people who disappeared and reappeared in a similar way.”
The woman, about mid-twenties, strong, clear-eyed, professional, throws me one last assessing look. “Rest for the patient,” she says, and without another glance gently but firmly ushers the chief of security out of the room.
I am alone again in the dim light. But this time it is not just the light that surrounds me. A small datapad lies beside me. It is set to my language, the language of the Argons, to help me learn it. I run my hand over it, feel the smooth surface, the ease with which I could at least begin to understand this foreign world.
For a moment I lean back and take a deep breath. The loneliness is still there, the fear as well, but for the first time since arriving I feel a tiny piece of control. A tool to understand, to learn, perhaps even to survive.
I followed Tahl Brenna through the corridors of the station, my steps quiet on the smooth metal floor. Everything around us was busy, countless individuals hurrying past, each caught in their own mission. I stayed close behind him, my eyes darting restlessly, memorizing every detail: the way they moved, the colors of their skin, the shapes of their armor, the devices they carried.
Instinctively, I compared them to what I knew from the “X” series. There was a Teladi female, scales a rich green, slender arms ending in sharp claws, and beside her a male, bluish shimmering scales, studying works of art with a strange grace. I recognized the species immediately.
A Boron glided past us, lower body like an octopus, upper part like a seahorse, skin turquoise-violet, every tentacle encased in a tight environmental suit. They can hardly survive without their suits. Incredible.
A few Paranid, tall and intimidating, rough, sand-colored skin, three eyes fixed on me. Their posture arrogant, superior, exactly like in the game. I swallowed. If they knew how small I felt here…
And then, almost at the edge of my vision, several Split. Reptilian, gray-black skin, six fingers and toes, small empty holes instead of noses and ears. Mercenaries, I thought immediately. Aggressive, territorial. Better not get too close.
I shook my head inwardly. Everything here I immediately compared to the game. But how accurate was that really? In “X”, everything was logical, predictable, structured by algorithms. Here? Everything felt real, dangerous, unpredictable.
The few fragments of Argon that I had learned during my days in the medical station barely helped me. Most of the time I had been examined or interrogated. Now, however, we were on our way to the security level, and I felt a cold fear spreading inside me. Would they lock me up? Should I run? No. I had no money, no idea where to flee. If they imprisoned me, I would at least get food, water, and a place to sleep.
I played the scenario through in my head. If I fled, I would have to steal, maybe use violence, go places I had never imagined. And even then, most here were stronger, faster, more experienced. Even the “weakest” on this station would overpower me.
When we reached the security department, it became clear that this was some form of official registration. Biometric data were taken: fingerprints, iris scan, DNA. Everything was fed into a database to find potential relatives. No hits. At least not within the Argon Federation.
Tahl handed me an ID card. “Functions as an identity document, passport, and bank card,” he explained. He told me that they had already transferred ten thousand credits to me from a state fund for the homeless, the lost, or the disadvantaged. Suddenly I felt the weight of my situation. In “X” I at least had a ship as living space, a few credits to start with. Here? Nothing.
I looked at the card in my hand, felt the weight of the responsibility now resting on me. How long would ten thousand credits last? A week? A month? Or just a few days? I needed to secure lodging on the station or an apartment on the planet. And all of this while barely understanding the language. Every interaction would be a hurdle, every transaction a risk.
I swallowed. My thoughts churned, as they always did in moments like this. Fear, uncertainty, overload. And yet, a small spark remained: a beginning. If I did nothing now, I would sink. I had to learn to adapt, to protect myself, and to understand my surroundings. Step by step.
I left the security level with the ID card in my hand and a dull feeling in my stomach. Tahl Brenna had said goodbye in a matter-of-fact manner, almost formally distant. No more suspicion, but no closeness either. I was probably an open case to him, nothing more. One of many special incidents that were documented and then handed over to bureaucracy.
Alone.
The word carried a different weight here.
The corridors branched, grew wider, higher, louder. Displays flickered on the walls, holograms advertised goods, services, transport. Everything in Argon, too fast, too complex. I stopped, more from overload than intent, and let the stream of individuals pass me by. No one paid attention to me. I was inconspicuous, foreign, insignificant. A state I knew from my old life, only here it could have deadly consequences.
Quarters. Food. Orientation.
Three simple goals. And I had no idea how to approach even one of them.
I lifted the ID card and looked at it again. Smooth, inconspicuous, a small symbol of the Argon Federation. Ten thousand credits. In my mind I tried to translate that into something tangible, but failed. In the game I would now be comparing prices, opening tables, optimizing. Here there was no user interface, no pause button.
I began to move, following no specific path, letting myself drift. Unconsciously, I paid attention to emergency exits, cameras, security personnel. Old habits. Survival always began with observation.
“Tori?”
I stopped abruptly. My name. Clearly spoken. My heart jumped, and I turned around.
Valentina Esposito stood a few meters behind me.
Without medical devices, without dim light, without the sterile distance of the hospital room, she looked different. More real. She wore a simple, light uniform, more practical than before, but clearly medical. Her petrol-colored hair was still tied in a ponytail, a few strands had come loose. The purple eyes studied me attentively, but not coldly. More… concerned.
“Thou have already been discharged,” she said slowly, clearly. Her Argon was clean, almost accent-free, but she spoke in a way I could follow. She had adapted. To me.
“Yes,” I answered after a brief hesitation. “Just now.”
A few seconds of silence. People passed us, humans and aliens alike, but around us a small bubble of calm formed. Valentina examined my face, my posture, probably searching for signs of overload. She found them.
“Thou look lost,” she said openly.
I twisted my mouth. “I am.”
A light, almost apologetic smile crossed her face. “I was hoping to catch thou. Before they… leave thou to yourself.”
I did not know what to answer. My first impulse was rejection. Pride. Reflex. I can manage. I had told myself that my whole life, even when it was rarely true.
“Thank thou,” I finally said, “but I do not want to trouble thee.”
As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew how ridiculous they sounded.
Valentina did not fold her arms, did not step closer, did not apply pressure. She simply looked at me. Calm. Assessing. Like someone who had learned to read people in exceptional situations.
“Tori,” she said, and the way she used my name alone made my defenses crumble. “Thou barely speakest the language. Thou knowest not the procedures. Thou have no social network, no address, no contact person. That is not inconvenience. That is risk.”
I exhaled slowly. She was right. And I hated it.
“I… do not want to be a burden,” I murmured.
“Then do not be,” she replied calmly. “Let thyself be helped. That is something else.”
I fell silent. Two sides fought within me. One wanted distance, control, independence. The other was tired. Exhausted. Alone. And painfully aware of how quickly one could disappear here without anyone noticing.
“What… do thou suggest?” I finally asked.
Valentina nodded almost imperceptibly, as if she had been waiting for exactly that. “First something simple. Food. Then a temporary quarter. There are transition units on the station for newcomers without status. Not comfortable, but safe. And inexpensive.”
“Inexpensive” sounded good. Survivable.
“And after that?” I asked.
“After that we shall see,” she said. “Perhaps language programs. Perhaps an intermediary. Perhaps… time.”
Time. A luxury I had never really had.
I nodded slowly. “Okay.”
The word felt heavy, but also right.
We walked off side by side. This time I paid less attention to the foreign beings around us, less to potential dangers. Instead, I listened to her steps, steady, calm. She unconsciously adjusted her pace to mine.
“Why do thou help me?” I asked after a while.
Valentina did not look at me immediately. “Because thou are not a fraud,” she said. “And not a criminal. And because I saw how thou reacted when thou was told where thou are.”
I swallowed. “How did I react?”
“Honestly,” she answered. “And afraid. People who lie react differently.”
I thought of the moment when the name Argon Prime had fallen. Of the monitors spiking. Of my loss of control.
“Besides,” she added, “we do not have many people like thee. Not here. Not like this.”
I looked at her. “Like me?”
She smiled faintly. “Lost between worlds.”
We fell silent again. But this time it was not uncomfortable. More a cautious agreement.
For the first time since waking up on this station, I felt that I was not completely alone.
And that frightened me almost as much as everything else.
Valentina accompanied me to the station’s residential modules. The farther we moved away from the bustling core, the quieter the corridors became. Less traffic, less noise, more sober functionality. The transition quarters were not hidden, but clearly low on the priority list.
“The cheapest units cost ten credits per Tazura,” she explained as she stopped at a terminal and showed me the display.
I frowned. “Tazura…”
She smiled lightly. “I thought so. Come, brief introduction.”
While she confirmed the booking, she began to explain the interstellar time system to me. Sezura, Mizura, Stazura, Tazura, each unit cleanly standardized, detached from planetary cycles. It made sense. Too much sense. In a community spanning dozens of star systems, anything else would be impractical.
When she reached the Tazura and explained that one of them corresponded to a little more than an Earth day, it slowly clicked for me. Even more so when she casually mentioned that one was considered an adult at thirteen Jazuras.
I calculated in my head, slower than usual. Thirteen Jazuras… interstellar. Eighteen human years. And she herself?
“Earlier thou said… eighteen point five Jazuras?” I asked cautiously.
She nodded. “Approximately.”
So about twenty-five. My first impression had not deceived me. Still, it was strange to hear these numbers. Everything was familiar and foreign at once. Humans, yes. But not my humans. Not my timekeeping. Not my history.
When she casually explained that the Argons did calculate in human years, but had deviations due to the Argon system, Argon Prime as the fourth planet of Son-Ra, not the third like Earth of Sol, it felt as if someone were slowly but inexorably shifting my internal coordinate system.
The transition quarter itself was… spartan. A small room, two chairs, a narrow table between them, a stasis box for food, a sanitation module, a sleeping niche. No windows. No view. Functional. Safe. Empty.
I stepped inside and let my gaze wander.
“Not luxurious,” Valentina said with a sweeping gesture, “but solid.”
I nodded. Luxury was a concept from another life.
There was neither food nor drink. Good that she had shown me where to shop on the way here. The brief detour had given me another lesson, this time about credits. Prices, relations, purchasing power. As I had walked through the shelves, my mind had instinctively converted. In the end I arrived at a rough rate of about one credit to five euros.
Expensive. But not unimaginable.
I stored the purchases in the stasis box and sat down opposite her. The table between us felt almost symbolic. Closeness at a distance.
Valentina leaned back and looked at me silently for a moment, as if considering how much more she could impose on me.
“There are other human factions besides the Argons,” she began.
I lifted my head. Humans.
She spoke of the Argons themselves, and what followed hit me unexpectedly hard. That they had not evolved on Argon Prime. That they had originally been a Terran colony called Taurus. Founded in the year 2046. More than nine hundred years ago.
I said nothing, forcing myself to remain calm.
She continued, speaking of the identity crisis this realization had triggered, of the near collapse of the Federation, of the Terrans who withdrew their claim to avoid provoking a war. Of the Goner, who preserved knowledge, secured Cloudbase Southwest, and later joined the Terrans.
In my mind, what she said collided with what I knew from the X series. Similarities, yes. But also deviations. Significant ones. I remained silent. This was not the moment to correct lore, especially not when I myself was part of a deviation.
When she spoke of Aldrin, of the rediscovered jump gate in the year 2938, of an isolated Terran colony that had never forgotten Earth, I felt an unexpected pull in my chest. They remembered. And we?
She explained the political tensions, the possible shift of power in favor of the Terrans over the next hundred years, the speculation about further lost colonies from the time of the first Terraformer War. All logical. All unsettling.
Then she spoke of the jump gates. Of the Old Ones. Of centuries of research without a breakthrough. And finally of the accelerators. Space highways. Terran technology. Independently developed.
I sank into the chair. My head was full. Too full.
“Thank thee,” I finally said. The word came out more quietly than I intended.
Valentina accepted it without false modesty. “If thou wish, I can help thee learn the trade language,” she offered. “Translators are practical, but they do not help with facial expressions, gestures, or… undertones.”
I knew she was right. And I also knew that I must not reject this offer out of pride.
“That would be… good,” I said.
She smiled, stood up, and said goodbye shortly thereafter. When the door closed behind her, it was quiet again.
I ate something, drank, sat for a long time doing nothing. My thoughts circled, reordered themselves, found no firm hold. At some point I lay down. Sleep came restless, fragmented.
And somewhere between waking and dreaming, it became clear to me that this was no longer a prologue.
This was my new life.


