Oh, all right - since people have been so patient...
Best Served Cold
Chapter Thirty-Three – Foreseeable Consequences
“
Gods you’re in a bad way.”
Whoever was talking was hazy and indistinct. I could barely hear them, but it was only polite to respond.
“Hhnnnnugnnngghhhhhhh…”
“Come on, hotshot. Time to wake up.”
“Wstm? Hoooryu? Wssp?”
They were all vital questions. Wish I could remember what they were. When I opened an eye, someone stabbed me in it – they used a hell of a lot of photons, but it might as well have been a vibroblade. When I closed it, I saw Farnsworth’s suit flying out of the TP’s airlock, or his wrists breaking when he fainted, or the puddle forming beneath his feet, or… It was probably better to risk the photons.
“I
told you this would happen. I
knew if you did it, you’d never be the same man. Argnucrap, what am I supposed to do now?”
Another voice entered the discussion
“Val Kleppen, you should remove him if you can. I will assist, if you require.”
“Why, thank ya, Sir. Gonna need a crane at this rate, he’s nothin’ but a deadweight right now.”
I risked my eyes again, and once more they were stabbed. Opening them was pointless, I couldn’t see anything anyway – overloaded nervous systems can do strange things, after all. Just a big, bright blur. Might as well have been staring at the surface of a star… There were hands and flippers under my arms, my head and my shoulders, and I could feel movement. Just don’t ask me to describe how I moved, because I blacked out again.
“Drink this, you’ll feel better.”
I was propped up on a bed, semi-reclined. I tried to offer thanks, but I was too parched to speak. I tried to take the proffered glass, but my arms wouldn’t do what I wanted them to. Instead, a small hand held my head forward and put the glass to my lips.
“Small sips. Don’t choke on this stuff, OK?”
The room was very dim, which suited me fine. After a mizura or so, I was starting to feel a little more Argon. Not that I had any right to, not after what I’d done. I was in a sleep-cell, on a station. Beyond that, I couldn’t say very much for definite – but judging by how I was feeling I’d have to take a guess at the Space Fuel Distillery in Herron’s Nebula. There was another person in the room, and the voice identified her. Val had come looking for me.
“Rest up. When you’ve got your strength back, we can talk. For now, jus’ lie back an’ sleep. I ain’t going nowhere, you’re safe here.”
I did as I was told. It seemed the best thing to do.
It could have been mizuras, stazuras – even tazuras later when I awoke again. My head was still pounding, and my mouth still felt like it was lined with silica-paper. But I could at least move my head and arms, if I had to. Getting up might have been problematic, though.
“You’re lucky you got friends lookin’ out for you. Loli Pa reckons you shoulda never gotten hold o’ that bottle. Stick to shots, he can keep an eye on ya that way. If he’d realised you’d had the bottle, he’d’ve thrown ya out soon as look at ya. Now we got a problem. Had you checked out – the doc says you’s about two shots away from full-blown alcohol poisonin’, and that coulda
done for ya. Reckons you need maybe a wozura o’ rehab just to clear your system – an’ another three to help ya with the addiction. And he don’t even
know about what’s messin’ with your head. I do, though. An’ Scott, you gotta talk about it. You gotta tell me what you did. Not now, but soon – or it’ll eat ya alive, jus’ like I said. S’OK, hotshot. I ain’t gonna tell nobody. Be our secret. Guess it’s my turn to look after you, right? You’s certainly in no shape to look after yourself, that’s for sure.”
I felt that small hand on my forehead again, and it was icy cold.
“Sheesh, you’re burnin’! Try an’ drink some o’ this. Water, two parts hydrogen, one part oxygen. Mixed it my own self. That’ll help, an’ I bet you’ve got a bangin’ headache too. Dehydrated, see? This’ll see ya right. Then sleep. We’ll chat later, ‘kay?”
She was right. I did start to cool down, and it did ease my head. Enough so I could sleep again, anyway.
“How long have I been out?”
“’Bout two stazuras. How’re you feelin?”
“Uhngh. Not great. I ache everywhere and I’m drier than a Teladi bath. How about you?”
“I’m bored, an’ I’m worried ‘bout you. ‘Part from that, everythin’s in the green.”
“Anyone asked about Farnsworth?”
“Only me. An’ you been in no fit state to talk. Reckon you can manage it now?”
“Do I have to? I’m not proud of it.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I reckon you do. Might help ya see jus’ how bad you been – or not. I don’ know yet. Could be you’re beatin’ yoursel’ up over nuthin’. Jus’ start at the beginnin’, an’ if you gotta stop, then stop. I ain’t sittin’ here in judgement, hotshot. I jus’ need ya to start acceptin’ what ya did, an’ fast.”
“OK, well… He brought a couple of goons – they wouldn’t go away so I had to shoot them down. They had orders to kill, I gave them chance to leave – nothing I could have done. Farnsworth himself gave up pretty quick once he was on his own.”
Val nodded. “Figures. Big an’ bad with backup but a pure yeller-belly when he’s on his own. Go on.”
“Well, I got him into the airlock, made him ditch his guns, then locked him in a room. Showed him holos of Jak & Sarma, and got him to accept what he’d done. Tied him up and hung him from the ceiling by his wrists. Showed him Sarma’s log message, then I went to work on his mind. Lit a plasma cutter…”
“Uh… That sounds kinda
nasty. What in all the hells did ya do with that?”
“Um… mostly I just warmed him up with it – it never touched him. Told him about what would happen if it did, though, got very graphic and let him get good and scared. Told him I was going to start, got the cutter a bit closer so he got hot. Then I pulled out a nitrogen drink stirrer, ran it down his spine and let his mind do the rest. He fainted.
Val’s face was a picture. She could barely contain her laughter. “Is that it? You jus’ scared him a bit? Whatcha so beat up about?”
“Well, that’s
not it. When he fainted, he lost his grip on the chain – the fall broke both his wrists and dislocated his shoulders. I knocked him out with an anaesthetic, and put him back in his suit. Then I crippled his radio and threw him out of the airlock about four stazuras from a station. He had about two stazuras of air, with two dislocated shoulders, two broken wrists and Sarma’s log audio for company. Operating any controls would hurt him even more. He also had a pistol, in case he got impatient waiting for the air to run out. I didn’t actually kill him, just marooned him- but I might as well have pulled the trigger myself.”
She looked a little more serious, now. “That might’ve been a mistake right there. You shoulda killed him outright. There’s still a chance he got rescued, an’ if that happened you’re right back where ya started. Only he’d know who you are and you wouldn’t know he’s comin’. Ya can’t do half the job on a thing like that, it’ll bite ya in the ass. I hope for both our sakes ya did that half a job
proper.”
Her voice shifted, softer, quieter, soothing almost. Her harsh accent was never going to be Boron-smooth, but it was certainly softer. “But… I gotta say, hotshot – you didn’t do nothin’ to get so upset about. You killed a scumbag that needed some serious killin’, an’ you done plenty o’ that already. This weren’t
no different. Only thing is, this time he gave up afore ya killed him. But, ya knew that’s what ya had to do, it’s what ya were goin’ to do right from the very start. Reckon your wife woulda’ been
proud of ya. You had ta do somethin’ ya
really didn’t wanna do, an’ ya did it anyway in the name o’ justice. If you’d
enjoyed it, maybe that’d be different. But you didn’t, did ya? Ya
hated it, and the way ya felt afterwards – well, I reckon that does ya
credit.”
She got up from the chair she’d been seated in, and leaned over me. “I gotta get somethin’ to eat. I’ll grab somethin’ for ya, but I don’t know if you’re ready ta eat yet. There’s only water in here, so you can go crazy on that – don’ reckon ya got the strength ta get anythin’ stronger. Rest easy, Scott. You ain’t no monster yet.”
For a sezura, she stayed there, just looking into my eyes – then I felt her lips just brush my forehead, and she was gone.