Rogues Revenge Ch 6: completed 12/6/03

[Al]

Its because we expect better from you now so we dont check as thoroughly any more

Al

[KiwiNZ]

Woohoo! Now that is an exciting run for his life! I like it, though the level of description is increadibly high and detailed

Looking forward to see how he gets out o his current misery! Should not be all that easy with him being trapped in cross-fire.

found one thing:

" fuelled by adrenaline fear and the powerful stimulant" - adrinaline, fear

[SteveMill]

Woohoo! Now that is an exciting run for his life! I like it, though the level of description is increadibly high and detailed

Looking forward to see how he gets out o his current misery! Should not be all that easy with him being trapped in cross-fire.

found one thing:

" fuelled by adrenaline fear and the powerful stimulant" - adrinaline, fear

Nope, correct spelling (according to the dubious authority of word anyway)and punctuation, adrenaline fear is used as one concept here.

Do you think the level of detail too high? I haven't written a sequence like this before.

[KiwiNZ]

oops, I actually mis-spelled it, sorry. I was going for the comma but ok, I did not think of an adrenaline induced fear.

mea culpa

[Mercenary]

Woohoo! Now that is an exciting run for his life! I like it, though the level of description is increadibly high and detailed

Looking forward to see how he gets out o his current misery! Should not be all that easy with him being trapped in cross-fire.

found one thing:

" fuelled by adrenaline fear and the powerful stimulant" - adrinaline, fear

Nope, correct spelling (according to the dubious authority of word anyway)and punctuation, adrenaline fear is used as one concept here.

Do you think the level of detail too high? I haven't written a sequence like this before.

Level of detail is good!

I guess, like you mention before, it's more a matter of if it fits in with the rest of the story in terms of consistancy, and whether the level of violence and detail is that much higher than similar events.

For example whan Law decided to take his anger out on the station command crew.

Personally speaking the style suits the moment. If there's one thing I might question it Max setting the weapons to blast mode. It seems too extreme if it literally tears people apart. It also means there's a hell of a lot of gue around and the potential for one to lose ones' footing and slip in the slimy stuff is raised. but if the kill setting is countered by the guards body armour then that's a hazard Max will have to endure...

[KiwiNZ]

since I obviously completely forgot to answer that question before: I agree with Merc. The level is going with the theme ... stims, rage, revenge, Law etc.. It is, however, quite shocking to read because you developed a very good style of getting the reader involved in the story No reason to change it.

[SteveMill]

Woohoo! Now that is an exciting run for his life! I like it, though the level of description is increadibly high and detailed

Looking forward to see how he gets out o his current misery! Should not be all that easy with him being trapped in cross-fire.

found one thing:

" fuelled by adrenaline fear and the powerful stimulant" - adrinaline, fear

Nope, correct spelling (according to the dubious authority of word anyway)and punctuation, adrenaline fear is used as one concept here.

Do you think the level of detail too high? I haven't written a sequence like this before.

Level of detail is good!

I guess, like you mention before, it's more a matter of if it fits in with the rest of the story in terms of consistancy, and whether the level of violence and detail is that much higher than similar events.

For example whan Law decided to take his anger out on the station command crew.

Personally speaking the style suits the moment. If there's one thing I might question it Max setting the weapons to blast mode. It seems too extreme if it literally tears people apart. It also means there's a hell of a lot of gue around and the potential for one to lose ones' footing and slip in the slimy stuff is raised. but if the kill setting is countered by the guards body armour then that's a hazard Max will have to endure...

I'm thinking of these energy weapons as akin to modern infantry weapons that are generally used to fire single shots or short bursts but can pump out the whole load in a second, doing the sort of damage I'm alluding to and we read about in modern conflicts.

As we all appreciate, Hollywood has seriously misled us over the massive amount of damage a decent calibre bullet will do to a body, a .44 shell will punch a fist sized hole through your chest and back or take an arm off and it's this reality I want to carry over. A machine pistol like an Uzi will cut a person in half with a full burst (or blow up in your hand!), although they are never really used in that way because of the ferocious recoil.

Fair point about differing levels of detail - partly I'm teaching myself something new and partly, in Law's case, I believe it's best to leave something for the imagination to work on.

Also I'm compensating for the recent action desert but at the same time trying to make it real, not glorified, violence. Not bloodless comic book, action hero type.

Body armour was about to come up, at the moment Law's forces have been caught by surprise and not normally having a need for it the on duty people aren't equipped with it, they're just grabbing weapons and responding. Might not last though.

Law, being paranoid, will naturally limit access to heavy weaponry, particularly on a structure surrounded by vacuum.

thanks for the feedback.

[Mercenary]

I'm thinking of these energy weapons as akin to modern infantry weapons that are generally used to fire single shots or short bursts but can pump out the whole load in a second, doing the sort of damage I'm alluding to and we read about in modern conflicts.

As we all appreciate, Hollywood has seriously misled us over the massive amount of damage a decent calibre bullet will do to a body, a .44 shell will punch a fist sized hole through your chest and back or take an arm off and it's this reality I want to carry over. A machine pistol like an Uzi will cut a person in half with a full burst (or blow up in your hand!), although they are never really used in that way because of the ferocious recoil.

Fair point about differing levels of detail - partly I'm teaching myself something new and partly, in Law's case, I believe it's best to leave something for the imagination to work on.

Also I'm compensating for the recent action desert but at the same time trying to make it real, not glorified, violence. Not bloodless comic book, action hero type.

Body armour was about to come up, at the moment Law's forces have been caught by surprise and not normally having a need for it the on duty people aren't equipped with it, they're just grabbing weapons and responding. Might not last though.

Law, being paranoid, will naturally limit access to heavy weaponry, particularly on a structure surrounded by vacuum.

thanks for the feedback.

The effect and the imagery work..

I understand your point about modern weapons and the holywood sanitization as to their effect. But I would suggest future weapons will progress in several ways and mainly to sanitize death.

Modern artillary / mines are designed to maim and mutilate, as it was determined that wounded soldiers takes more men off the battlefield then if you killed a few outright.

However in the close confines of hand to hand combat this principle doesn't work so well.

IMO an energy weapon should kill / disable the enemy. How it achieves this end is a matter for debate but you can follow a couple of trains of thought.

1) Clean kill - nominal damage to the victim, total body shutdown due to bioelectircal overload after energy discharge. Effect on witnessess / soldier doing the killing, minimal shock / traumer as the victim just appears to keel over. Body can be a hinderance to progress.

2) Vapourization - reduces the victim to dust. Effect on witnessess - shock. Potential traumer to soldier - low to moderate depending on duration. Other benefits, prevents impedence to progress.

Then you end up with wide field energy dispersal type discharges for clearing a corridor of multiple hostiles with a single shot....

The emphasis is more towards the effects on the one doing the killing and how it looks on camera when the press get to have a look round afterwards. Bits of body all over the place tends to put a negative slant on things...

[Al]

Perhaps what you are saying makes sense but to my mind, severed limbs etc just adds to the atmosphere of the story. Brings home the brutal revenge that Max is undertaking

Al

[Mercenary]

Yep they do, couldn't agree more!

But at what point does it just turn into a Doom type bloodfest...

If the question is realism then in times of war what would you expect to see in futuristic conflicts. And this depends on the attitude of the people that design the weapons...

You could assert that, the sign of a good fight to the Split is to go home drentched in the blood of their enemies.. in which case weapons that make things burst apart in an exremely messy way is fine...

Pirates of course may also go for this type of weapon as it would install the fear of an agonising and painful demise, hence enhancing the fear factor and making opponents more likely to surrender into slavery...

The Argon alternatively might, because of political correctness and potential legal action, go for function and cleanliness...

The Teladi would probably discover a weapon which empties your bank account and siezes all your assets and then brainwashes you into being a devoted employee of the corporation (why waste a potentially valuable resource)...

etc. etc..

[SteveMill]

Yep they do, couldn't agree more!

But at what point does it just turn into a Doom type bloodfest...

If the question is realism then in times of war what would you expect to see in futuristic conflicts. And this depends on the attitude of the people that design the weapons...

You could assert that, the sign of a good fight to the Split is to go home drentched in the blood of their enemies.. in which case weapons that make things burst apart in an exremely messy way is fine...

Pirates of course may also go for this type of weapon as it would install the fear of an agonising and painful demise, hence enhancing the fear factor and making opponents more likely to surrender into slavery...

The Argon alternatively might, because of political correctness and potential legal action, go for function and cleanliness...

The Teladi would probably discover a weapon which empties your bank account and siezes all your assets and then brainwashes you into being a devoted employee of the corporation (why waste a potentially valuable resource)...

etc. etc..

Weapons work according to dramatic necessity but a wide angle disintegrating weapon would by necessity require multiples of the energy it takes to punch a hole in something with a plasma bolt and my vision relates to the weapons we do see, on ships.

[Mercenary]

Weapons work according to dramatic necessity but a wide angle disintegrating weapon would by necessity require multiples of the energy it takes to punch a hole in something with a plasma bolt and my vision relates to the weapons we do see, on ships.

It's really how I see things may go and has no bearing on the story...

This is just a discussion point really, and I agree with your comment if you use a disintegration weapon.

Something which would cause the intended victim to have an instant cardiac arrest however doesn't need to punch a hole through anything and it's no longer a case of generating mutlidirectional pulses locating individual targets but would generate an energy field that travels as a ball of energy between the walls.

Possibly..

[SteveMill]

Weapons work according to dramatic necessity but a wide angle disintegrating weapon would by necessity require multiples of the energy it takes to punch a hole in something with a plasma bolt and my vision relates to the weapons we do see, on ships.

It's really how I see things may go and has no bearing on the story...

This is just a discussion point really, and I agree with your comment if you use a disintegration weapon.

Something which would cause the intended victim to have an instant cardiac arrest however doesn't need to punch a hole through anything and it's no longer a case of generating mutlidirectional pulses locating individual targets but would generate an energy field that travels as a ball of energy between the walls.

Possibly..

But then you're talking weapons that have to interfere with several biologies. Brute force is much simpler. In real life you are right - future weapons will be different. wait a few years and we'll be whacking inconvenient foreigners with things that would make Captain kirk blanche.

[Gandalf The White]

Hi,

Well, an interesting discussion I have to say.

I like the detail, very good. Blow by blow stuff, I like that, and can picture it almost frame by frame. Good work Steve.

As for weapons, well, considering that what is used in BTF/XT and up and coming X2, is going to be bolts of energy, rather than partical streams, I would say that Steve has got it about right. The blaster weapons, put me in mind of a 12 Bore shot gun or perhaps a 10 bore, depending on the energy spread and effectiveness. For example, a Shot gun would do that sort of damage at close range, in actual fact, it could cut someone in 2. So, when Steve was describing the weapon effect, I sort of saw a shot gun, something large, heavy and very distructive at close range. That's not to say that the picture is right, but that's what I saw at any rate.

[Moss]

Well the last two sections are certainly action packed, some great imagery coming across, as good as an action movie, better even because here we get the thoughts and fears of those involved. I wouldn't want to be with Law in his command centre right now tho thats for sure, if/when Max does make it out of here that'll likely be a deadly place to be.

Great stuff Steve.

[Mercenary]

But then you're talking weapons that have to interfere with several biologies. Brute force is much simpler. In real life you are right - future weapons will be different. wait a few years and we'll be whacking inconvenient foreigners with things that would make Captain kirk blanche.

Yes, but electricity isn't X2 sagt Bussi auf Bauch about biology. It's a matter of getting the intensity right. Anyway time to move on before I get to thinking about the technical bits and pull the sketch pad out..

Daz: Yep I get the impression of a shotgun type weapon, or something with an equivalent large bore but has significantly more impact force...

[SteveMill]

But then you're talking weapons that have to interfere with several biologies. Brute force is much simpler. In real life you are right - future weapons will be different. wait a few years and we'll be whacking inconvenient foreigners with things that would make Captain kirk blanche.

Yes, but electricity isn't X2 sagt Bussi auf Bauch about biology. It's a matter of getting the intensity right. Anyway time to move on before I get to thinking about the technical bits and pull the sketch pad out..

Daz: Yep I get the impression of a shotgun type weapon, or something with an equivalent large bore but has significantly more impact force...

Yes, something like a folding stock AK47 assault rifle type thing. For Max's usual handgun (for those old enough and tasteless enough to have watched) the gun out of TV series of Logan's Run.

[Gandalf The White]

So When's the next chapter out then?!lol

[SteveMill]

So When's the next chapter out then?!lol

Draft done so probably Monday.

[Gandalf The White]

Yay!

Looking forward to it.