Rogues Return Chapter Two completed 10.6.05

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therjw
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Post by therjw »

Or maybe... Max will become self aware and realise his old mate is in trouble and beam Jack onboared :P

A nice suspence cliffhanger ending Steve, Cant wait to see what happens :D
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Al
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Post by Al »

Great stuff Steve. Seems that Jack has met his match but then as we know who is "flying" the Dragon its no great surprise. Cant wait to see how he gets out of this because there is no way you'll be killing him yet :)
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

Al wrote:Great stuff Steve. Seems that Jack has met his match but then as we know who is "flying" the Dragon its no great surprise. Cant wait to see how he gets out of this because there is no way you'll be killing him yet :)
Hey - just for that I'm going to rewrite the next bit. :wink:
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Al
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Post by Al »

You cant kill off the bad boy coming good. Besides that would be the end of the plot :p
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Graf_Grau
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Post by Graf_Grau »

Al wrote:You cant kill off the bad boy coming good. Besides that would be the end of the plot :p
More likely, Steve is going to make us chew the ends of our fingers off and not just our nails, waiting to see what happens for another chapter!
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

i'm working on the next section and it should be ready Monday, or even later today. Maybe Kaitrin becomes the hero?
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

Chapter completed.
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Graf_Grau
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Post by Graf_Grau »

Groovy! I had guessed that It was Anjie who had been captured by the fixer. It was Jackson thinking about her earlier. Nice way to win the fight and now it looks like we have some focus for our two heroes. They now max is alive in someway and thus i guess will now be after the fixer. It looks like we will be seeing an interesting game of cat and mouse here with the cat changing sides!

Well done, though bet you'll now make sure I am wrong!
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Al
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Post by Al »

Woohooo. Great stuff Steve.

You need to try and keep writing at this pace to keep us all going. These cliff hangers are not good for my concentration at work ;)

Al
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KiwiNZ
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Post by KiwiNZ »

Crickey! That is an excellent finish and great twist. Looks like Slash hasn't got all memories of Max as he could not identify the railgun and the good ol' Squash mine trick :D Really gripping battle and great move from Kaitrin, using the target fixation of both, the suicidal Jack and Max. Though, how did Jack get away with his battered shields? Did the mine explode when he was in the shadow of the Dragon?

Scary message at the very end!

Looking forward to the next chapter!! :thumb_up:
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

How I pictured it was he sped past the Dragon and he had a rising shield charge from the new shield. So the explosion was therefore a lot closer to the dragon, particularly as it was the target in the first place. I might revisit the descriptions to make this clearer though.

Short answer - it was dramatically necessary. :)
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Graf_Grau
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Post by Graf_Grau »

Too many techno buffs out there! We authors use our artistic license to play around with the physics engine.
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

Graf_Grau wrote:Too many techno buffs out there! We authors use our artistic license to play around with the physics engine.
Yes, goddammit. Suspend your disbelief this instant or we'll send you to your rooms, without supper. Or videogames. :wink:
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KiwiNZ
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Post by KiwiNZ »

SteveMill wrote:
Graf_Grau wrote:Too many techno buffs out there! We authors use our artistic license to play around with the physics engine.
Yes, goddammit. Suspend your disbelief this instant or we'll send you to your rooms, without supper. Or videogames. :wink:
Not without video games please!! You are worst than my father :P
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Gandalf The White
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Post by Gandalf The White »

lol! max has turned real rogue?
some who deserve life receive death. Others who deserve death receive life. Can you give it to them? Don't be eager to deal out death in judgement, for not even the wise can see all ends.
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Oldman
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Post by Oldman »

Oi!....I said i was just content to read....i didn't ask for you to give me a heart rate of a hundred and fifty!!! :o :D


Okay, now this is interesting, i wonder what conclusion Jackson and Kaitrin will eventually come to on hearing 'Max's voice'.
I also wondered whether the 'Fixer' had originally other plans in the scheme of things for Anje Deniari prior to this recent confrontation with Jackson, as i get the impression that the jettison of her into space was a snap decision taken in the heat of battle, though in looking at the Fixers reasons for doing this it sorta adds another dimension to his character 'profile'...a kind of parting shot in Jacksons direction which is suitably shocking, and points the Fixer out once again as a ruthless individual.

Looking forward to some more reading :)

Oldman :)
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

It was mentioned earlier he had a back-up plan. :wink:

I need to make it clear in the text that 'Max' speaks with the AI voice, not a recognisable individual voice, although now I think about it, The Fixer may well have created such a voice for added effect. i'll have to think about that. Thanks for the idea / plot loophole spot.

EDIT - slight amendment made to ending to close the voice loophole.
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VincentTH
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Post by VincentTH »

Steve,

First off, I don't write often, but I do read all of your posts (I even read the Morrowind FAQ you wrote). I don't contemplate a career in writing (being a lousy writer myself), but I have learned a lot just by reading your explanation on how/why you wrote it that way.

Back to topic: You mentioned "Max voice", but I was left scratching my head. Is this the original Max Force (who died in the Xenon sector with Zee)'s voice or is it Martenee/Max Force's? I asked because I assume from the epilogue of the 2nd episode, that Martenee survived the ordeal.
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Darkstar trader
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Post by Darkstar trader »

I think that its a damaged version of Zee, that has taken on some of max's personality.

Or not lol...
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

No comment and no comment. 8)
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