Reapers Passage SPOILERS [update News] Comments Thread [please post comments here]

[caeljin]

man ! i stoped to play xtended and JA2 gold to read all the reaper passage !

very good,in some ways remind me the rogues tale by Steve Miller.

I dont like to read a work in progress normally,but after see the curious name <reapers passage> and read the first chapter i doesnt stoped to read .

now the chap 40

[Captain Chris sTc]

seems like anna could use the assistance of a not so far away Boron.

[Paranoid66]

Thanks everybody for your comments much appreciated. with luck will soon be connected again at home no more library runs.

Chapter 41 posted
Chapter 42 posted

Monday 20th August 07

Also a few edits to Chapter 40 nothing major.

[Paranoid66]

Tues 8:22 21 August 07 rather amused just did bit of an edit on Ch 42.

Must have got too close to that one.

It was all Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna honestly not obsessed with the name! Anyway put in some alternatives such as: The PA, The Scientist, The Professor reads a bit better now. That Argon has a lot of hats, forgot to use The Station Runner!!! [ah fixed that]

So many tweaks think I'm done with this chapter now? Sometimes you just need a bit of time or proofing goes AWOL!

[Paranoid66]

Chapter 43 posted

Tues 21st August 07

Further coverage of the ongoing training exercise.

[Paranoid66]

Chapter 44 posted

Thursday 23rd August 07

More training exercise - for some reason this one was hard work! I guess trying to think from each groups perspective! My head hurts!

[Paranoid66]

Chapter 45 posted

Thursday 23 Aug 07

This one is all action

[Paranoid66]

Chapter 46 posted

Friday 24th August 07

Thats the final chapter in the immediate training exercise run.

I would be interested to hear what you all thought about those?

With the section complete. I found it a difficult one. I'm still getting my head around zero G combat. Does the action read as plausible / interesting, sensible or overly contrived?

Its all gone a bit introspective. I think I can hear Jorac laughing in my head now. Somebody must have a comment!!!

Did it keep your interest, or was the section a bit long?

All criticism is welcome!
Another initially messy one, several edits proofs later...

After looking at these again still can't really say I'm happy with the last few chapters. It would be good to hear somebody elses opinions. Its all gone quiet in the comments thread again.

[Paranoid66]

Chapter 47 Posted

Tuesday 28th August 07
A little retrospective return to AFC 4 setting the scene for the upcoming Treason Trial.
Posts may be a somewhat less frequent for a week or so - real world stuff!

Hope you are still enjoying the story

[Paranoid66]

Chapter 48 posted Tues 4th September.

All comments criticism welcome and gratefully recieved!

Back in NI for a bit, hard to get back to grips with the story right now!

Sobre, but feel a little bit hungover!

[Paranoid66]

Chapter 49 posted Wednesday 05 September 07

What did you make of that?

That one flowed out compared to the pain of the previous chapters. Come on you readers, open up a dialogue, I dare you!

I think the overall concept behind the censorship given the sometimes surprisingly low tech in the X - Universe works quite well! Hit or Miss?

[jackhanna88]

Cracking update, really enjoyed that one. Didn't see the twist about Gregor coming at all! He (and you, obviously) portrayed the role so convincingly.

[Paranoid66]

Cracking update, really enjoyed that one. Didn't see the twist about Gregor coming at all! He (and you, obviously) portrayed the role so convincingly.

Thanks, really is is great to get some feedback again. For a while there I felt like I was starting to lose my grip on the plot, the timeline in my head got a bit away from me. Keeping the various parts of the story reasonably in sync is a challenge.

Someparts need fast forwarding others given the brakes. Keeping track of it all can be difficult. Worry I am either repeating myself too much or missing stuff out! A lot of time is already being spent going back and rereading the old stuff to try and keep reliable continuity - I have rubbish recall.

Ideas build upon each other, so I can't take too much credit.

Ive learned to be flexible. It is sometimes smoke and Mirrors - filling the slack left inbetween! This telling the story one episode at a time can be tough - you can't go back and do a major rewrite once it is out it is out but you can twist and tweak and if careful add deeper meaning. The enforced restraint in episodic posting can make it more fun!

Like trying to fit a jigsaw puzzle together - only you can cheat a little - by reshaping some of the later pieces but the colours and the overall design still has to match

[Paranoid66]

Chapter 50 posted Thursday 6th Sept 07

More insights and goings on at AFC 4, hope you enjoy

[Paranoid66]

Chapter 51 posted

Saturday 08th September 07

Not sure how to describe that one: Mostly Characterisation I suppose.

Dialogue very quickly fills up empty space!

[jackhanna88]

Good update, what a raunchy story this is turning out to be! Normally don't do this, but noticed something that i think needed changing

‘Good Luck!’ said Ravn quietly with a wink amused to see his usually cool employer blush slightly at the gesture.

The back area was a little dusty, currently being used for storage, and was packed with fixtures and fittings yet to be applied elsewhere. Their was no seats so the pair stood stiffly ‘Well?’ asked Carl outwardly aggressive.

‘Is this ridiculous show all about Ravn?’, she asked, ‘or do you regret last night?’ questioned Anna softly.

‘Do I? Should I? I regret being used if that is what last night was about!’, said Carl.

Should be carl?[/u]

[Paranoid66]

Good update, what a raunchy story this is turning out to be! Normally don't do this, but noticed something that i think needed changing

‘Good Luck!’ said Ravn quietly with a wink amused to see his usually cool employer blush slightly at the gesture.

The back area was a little dusty, currently being used for storage, and was packed with fixtures and fittings yet to be applied elsewhere. Their was no seats so the pair stood stiffly ‘Well?’ asked Carl outwardly aggressive.

‘Is this ridiculous show all about Ravn?’, she asked, ‘or do you regret last night?’ questioned Anna softly.

‘Do I? Should I? I regret being used if that is what last night was about!’, said Carl.

Should be carl?[/u]

Hi interesting An explanation below thanks for the comment.

Chapter 51 SPOILERS BELOW

Actually taken out of context it might seem to be the case. However she is actually asking him: Was his show [acting up storming in to see her] about Ravn? As in - because she had aproached / employed Ravn - without asking his permission or belatedly mentioning the fact! Or was it about their night together - an excuse to beak up?

The sentence is condensed because in natural speech often a lot is implied - follows on from what has gone before - rather than actually said out loud! Something I really don't do enough as I can be a little paranoid about the point being miss construed! So my dialogues can be a bit long winded.

Anna is assuming he will follow her train of thought when she says Ravn. As Ravn's defection (if that is the right term) was what seemed to be on the Commanders mind when he berated the same for stepping up to protect Anna when he - went to manhandle her aside rather forcefully.

Really I see Anna as using emotional blackmail here. Even though she is feeling pretty disturbed deep down over the 'Argon Incentive' and knows she might have acted rashly herself. On the surface at least she is spinning it to Carl as his difficulty, a question with a question. Placing him on the emotional defensive!

Raunchy will have to watch that! However, I wanted the story to be adult not in a dodgy manner, but with - strong emotional context - rather than just external action. I am trying to think from the inside out. I believe working and other relationships have a massive impact on outward motivations both intentional and subliminal.

I think it is especially impotant to show this in a situation which has so much deception and insecurity in it. Really the whole Carl thing is an emphsasis of Anna's own deep down insecurities following the administration of the toxin. A loss of nice sensible logical control. [Well that is my raunchy defence.] In case any moderators are getting anxious! Please note I have been taking great care with the words I have been using in any relations keeping it as clean and civilised as I can. Inferring rather than showing!

[jackhanna88]

Realised what it was - I added a "what" to the start of the sentence. My bad. Thought i was being all clever too haha.

I agree with you that the emotional context is important, and you don't go into graphic detail (which im glad about!). It just seems to me that EVERYONE is hooking up!

[Paranoid66]

Realised what it was - I added a "what" to the start of the sentence. My bad. Thought i was being all clever too haha.

I agree with you that the emotional context is important, and you don't go into graphic detail (which im glad about!). It just seems to me that EVERYONE is hooking up!

Seemed kind of logical to me being all alone in big tin cans. Also there is something about danger that pulls people together as working long hours in a close environment, (anybody ever work in an office it can be love / hate). I also think the emptiness of space would make people reach out to each other. To lose themselves in the opposite of the vastness intimacy!

Further in the X universe with space becoming to some extent just an ordinary day to day - living space - people would do all the normal day to day stuff! Argons are Human after all! Anna was especially aloof being very career focused and thus only had her previous dalliance with Febr as part of her history, and that was a student mentor thing! Note she rebuffed all Gregors advances. I think it was entirely logical that she flipped a bit following The Argon Incentive.

I confess characters like Shimoo use their wiles as weapons. I like to play with how feelings can really mess with peoples normal - rational - processes! At the start I worried my characters were way too together. I used to joke in real life that LOVE IS A DISEASE OF THE MIND!

I believe - pulling emotional strings is the oldest trick in the book - and one that ambitious individuals, and spies in particular are prone in reality and fiction to making the most of! Also nothing makes a single persons life more complicated than the inclusion of a partner.

[Paranoid66]

Chapter 52 posted

Monday 10th September 07

More potential grief for Fay, Anna and the Legion on AFC 4.

As ever comments appreciated and most welcome.