Rogues Revenge, Chapter 10: Pt 3 & 4 28/7/03

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Gandalf The White
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Post by Gandalf The White »

Next please!lol.

Oh, and thanks Steve for mailing the previous parts to me, forgot to email ya and say thanks. I apreciate it.
some who deserve life receive death. Others who deserve death receive life. Can you give it to them? Don't be eager to deal out death in judgement, for not even the wise can see all ends.
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

The Doctor wrote:Next please!lol.

Oh, and thanks Steve for mailing the previous parts to me, forgot to email ya and say thanks. I apreciate it.
No problem. As I said I was forced to work over the weekend but it's 5am and I'm up writing.
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KiwiNZ
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Post by KiwiNZ »

SteveMill wrote: As I said I was forced to work over the weekend but it's 5am and I'm up writing.
Now THAT is the spirit :D :thumb_up: :star: :x2:
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Gandalf The White
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Post by Gandalf The White »

Wayhay! looking forward to its
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

part 2 added
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Al
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Post by Al »

Fantastic ace Max had up his sleeve. nothing like complete and utter fear for their lives to make people see sense :D

Al
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KiwiNZ
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Post by KiwiNZ »

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Excellent read!! That was a very unexpected turn of things. Mind you, 10% is painfully little. But then again, better than dead! Very smart idea. Can imagine it took a while to work that one out.

:lol: it certainly had me crack up laughing, particularly his countdown.

Looking forward to see how that develops.
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Gandalf The White
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Post by Gandalf The White »

So who is going to direct the films then? And what about casting?lol
some who deserve life receive death. Others who deserve death receive life. Can you give it to them? Don't be eager to deal out death in judgement, for not even the wise can see all ends.
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Adamskini
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Post by Adamskini »

ok, what just happened :?:

im tired and knackered from work so bare with me, but did he just buy all the factories? did i miss a nuance?

or did he just get them to agree to pay 10% of there factories price into a 'war fund'?

or what?


\o/
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spikey
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Post by spikey »

Superb as ever Steve!

Spikes
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

Adamskini wrote:ok, what just happened :?:

im tired and knackered from work so bare with me, but did he just buy all the factories? did i miss a nuance?

or did he just get them to agree to pay 10% of there factories price into a 'war fund'?

or what?


\o/
He just bought all the factories in the sector for 10% of the construction cost.

Reworded to make it clearer, thanks for the feedback - I was racing the go-to-work-clock finishing that up.
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Al
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Post by Al »

But you kind of ended before this actually happened. He offered to buy them and then all hell broke lose amongt the factory owners.

Al
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Gandalf The White
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Post by Gandalf The White »

Next please!lol.

Looking forward to it
some who deserve life receive death. Others who deserve death receive life. Can you give it to them? Don't be eager to deal out death in judgement, for not even the wise can see all ends.
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

Al wrote:But you kind of ended before this actually happened. He offered to buy them and then all hell broke lose amongt the factory owners.

Al
no - they were told to signal the deal by standing up. they all did.
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Al
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Post by Al »

ah must must have missed that bit in all the excitment. I'll go back and have another read of the last bit.

Al
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Al
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Post by Al »

Ah it right there in the middle of the exciting bit. Guess I need to read more carefully. Perhaps if I go back to doing that I might also stop some corrections to be made ;)

Al
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Moss
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Post by Moss »

Hehe, nice ending to part two there Steve I think Stanner got everything he deserved :D and now Max owns all the factories in this sector, cool :D

The countdown was great btw, and would have loved to have actualy seen the look on Stanners face :wink:
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

New part posted.

As I mentioned to Kiwinz in a pm reply - from October I'll be back at University part-time doing creative writing at undergraduate level. The Head of Department has admitted me straight to Year 2 on the strength of the Rogue series.

I'm hoping to get a publishable fantasy novel out of it.


Steve
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Gandalf The White
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Post by Gandalf The White »

Interesting Steve, sounds good. Now here comes some fast trading and credits.
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Mercenary
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Post by Mercenary »

SteveMill wrote:New part posted.

As I mentioned to Kiwinz in a pm reply - from October I'll be back at University part-time doing creative writing at undergraduate level. The Head of Department has admitted me straight to Year 2 on the strength of the Rogue series.

I'm hoping to get a publishable fantasy novel out of it.


Steve

That's quite a step to be making :) Based on this work it should be a formality...

Just one potential spot:

"It wasn't enough to safe those..." - should be "save"?
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