Rogues Resurgence Ch 19 completed 22.4.03

[SteveMill]

Very nice read, Steve. There is a neat build-up of tension going on, I like that. Will be interesting the see how the General reacts to the now handicapped Artur. Dath being a soldier, I could imagine him considering Artur less useful, which, of course would be stupid ... but

I noticed a missing comma

"Phoenix, but it could be ..."

Looking forward to the continuation!

thanks, another good catch. how come that Word will hassle me endlessly about sentence lengths and grammar rules I've never heard of but can't spot a simple missing comma?

[Oldman]

“It means he’s piqued their interest and they’re checking him out. I might have to take action against him to bolster his credibility.”

Could be quite interesting?

Oldman

[Al]

A bump and reminder to Steve that we're waiting for more

Al

[SteveMill]

A bump and reminder to Steve that we're waiting for more

Al

hoping to get more posted today.

steve

[SteveMill]

A bump and reminder to Steve that we're waiting for more

Al

And here it is. A bit short but other demands being made on my leisure time. hopefully more soon.

[Al]

Thanks for that. Makes being at work more bearable!

Good read but I'm still waiting for the little skirmish that has been brewing. Is Max's new fab fully online yet or is it still just about there and hence still vunerable?

Al

[SteveMill]

Thanks for that. Makes being at work more bearable!

Good read but I'm still waiting for the little skirmish that has been brewing. Is Max's new fab fully online yet or is it still just about there and hence still vunerable?

Al

Patience, all will be revealed.

[Adamskini]

\o/

[Moss]

Thanks Steve for another very enjoyable read, seems Artur is going to be pretty busy, sorting Max, Law, Morn and Daht out, lots of interesting reading to come yet .

[Oldman]

Short but full of detail...in fact the conversation between Max and the lifters pilot was quite believable and imaginative....I could almost picture the pilot's face/personality etc.
I liked the inclusion of the 'ufo'....good, and comical at the same time.

Great read...

Oldman

[KiwiNZ]

COOOOOL

At some point I thought the Disco was more than an extra
These women .... I really wonder how that develops, as I suspect Tyre to be a spy of Skull's there would be BIG trouble coming up

Looking forward to see how things develop, also with the new fab.

noticed one typo, comma in wrong place, me thinks.

"now she’d pointed it, out but he could"

[SteveMill]

COOOOOL

At some point I thought the Disco was more than an extra
These women .... I really wonder how that develops, as I suspect Tyre to be a spy of Skull's there would be BIG trouble coming up

Looking forward to see how things develop, also with the new fab.

noticed one typo, comma in wrong place, me thinks.

"now she’d pointed it, out but he could"

Thanks for the spot. I'll be writing more tomorrow hopefully.

[SteveMill]

Chapter completed,

Steve

[Al]

Interesting build up to the small skirish ahead of Max.

I found a couple of things:

1. "The Ceo’s Bucksoid jumpgate swirled to life and spat out a Lifter in garish red livery Bright white warning lights strobed from the nose and tail. " Looks as though you missed a "." between "livery" and "Bright"

2. "No time for that, tempting as irresistible as the thought is stud." repeating yourself with the "tempting" and "irresistible".

3. "your….jeans. " odd looking full stop before jeans?

4. "Ladies don’t sweat, they perspire" I thought women were supposed to glow rather than perspire?


I'm sure there was another one but I'll be damned if I can find it on my second read through. I'll have another look later when I get some of this damn work out the way

Al

[SteveMill]

Interesting build up to the small skirish ahead of Max.

I found a couple of things:

1. "The Ceo’s Bucksoid jumpgate swirled to life and spat out a Lifter in garish red livery Bright white warning lights strobed from the nose and tail. " Looks as though you missed a "." between "livery" and "Bright"

2. "No time for that, tempting as irresistible as the thought is stud." repeating yourself with the "tempting" and "irresistible".

3. "your….jeans. " odd looking full stop before jeans?

4. "Ladies don’t sweat, they perspire" I thought women were supposed to glow rather than perspire?


I'm sure there was another one but I'll be damned if I can find it on my second read through. I'll have another look later when I get some of this damn work out the way

Al

thanks Al, changes made where necessary. glow and perspire? i'll stick with perspire, the .... jeans is meant to suggest a snobbish pause.

[Al]

I realise the .... is for a pause but the last one (full stop) looks odd. It appears to be slightly larger than the others. Thats all I was pointing out.

Al

[SteveMill]

I realise the .... is for a pause but the last one (full stop) looks odd. It appears to be slightly larger than the others. Thats all I was pointing out.

Al

Optical illusion i guess, unless my keyboard has two full stops.

[Al]

Maybe its something to do with the broswer. I can still see it but obvoiusly you cant. Bit of a daft point anyway

Al[/spoiler]

[SteveMill]

Maybe its something to do with the broswer. I can still see it but obvoiusly you cant. Bit of a daft point anyway

Al[/spoiler]

using IE rather than Opera I see what you mean. Seems to bold a 4th stop. Have deleted it.

[Adamskini]

\o/