I have had enough of this crap!
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In the #MeToo Era, Raising Boys to Be Good Guys
I can't take this ignorant hipster whiny anti-reality bullcrap "advice with teh praise sciennse" @#%^% ANY MORE!
Everywhere one cares to look, there's some bullcrap magazine, newspaper or website with some dumb-ass hipster man-bun latte-sipper eager to share their metro-bullcrap sandal-and-socks oh-so-surprising-friggin revelation that they "just found out something they didn't know" because they've been living in a closet made out of sticky-screened iPhones for their entire urban-cafe-and-vape-shop headsock-wearing liberal progressive feminist Che-Guevara-t-shirt wearing m'friggin LIFE! If I missed a @$^%@$ stereotype, add it here: _______
The thought of my sons harassing another person is enough to keep me up at night, so I asked experts for advice.
Because you've never met reality outside the friggin glowy screen under your bedsheets, you've got to run and ask "experts" about ethics and morals? Have you never had contact with a living person that wasn't arbitrated by Facebook? You're old enough to friggin slap nasties with that untutored thing between your cycling-shaved sticks and you have never had the friggin opportunity to actually develop a set of socially competent and acceptable morals that you can pass on to the future mouthbreathers that you are, however lightly put, "raising?"
Parenting, as I have come to understand it, is an endless series of life hacks.
My wife and I have to think creatively to stay ahead of our two sons. I’ve hidden vitamins beneath pools of ketchup, made cough-syrup ice pops, learned the hard way that toothpaste will clean marker off wood furniture while hair spray will get it out of upholstery.
But there are no shortcuts for the core mission of parenting: Raising a child to be a good person.
Oh, no... Advice from someone who could not train a stuffed animal to not pee on the carpet? Parenting is a series of "life-hacks?" How in the good world did parents manage to "parent" without having kitchy internetz phraseology?
The thought of either of my two sons harassing or assaulting another person, or being victims themselves, is enough to keep me up at night. Any parent is likely to share my worry.
My boys are only 11 and 13, but the University of Kentucky psychologist ...
Oh. My. Goodness.
Your friggin kids have self-raised themselves to such an extent that now, just when they are facing puberty, you haven't managed to parent them well enough that you are not at the very least "fairly confident" that they will do "the right thing" and "the right time," barring some of the usual, manageable, stresses such children are going to encounter at that age? Holy crap, are you seriously worried they're gonna rape someone? Beat the crap out of some poor shmuck? Get abused and NOT come to you and tell you about it? They're not going to try to avoid conflicts and fights? WTF HAVE YOU BEEN DOING FOR OVER A DECADE?
And, you have to ask a psychologist? Methinks you should be asking them about something else.
..Nor are sexual bullying and harassment confined to girls. Teenage boys are under tremendous pressure to “act like a guy,” which often means fitting into narrow (and often toxic) conventions of manhood. Dr. Brown said, “It’s common for boys to be called homophobic slurs in middle and high school, especially if they deviate from the very narrow stereotype of what it means to be a typical adolescent boy.” Some boys, in fact, might sexually harass girls simply to keep themselves from being harassed. ..
You haven't a clue. Kids play doctor, they're curious, some kid is, right now, sitting next to the friggin' water fountain trying to look up skirts. They're friggin clueless and they're friggin human beings. No, we certainly don't want any sort of nasty business going on, but for crying out loud, you're forgetting the fact, and so is this "expert," that these are children. They friggin don't know
anything. If you haven't sat down with them and explained things, they're going to want to find the F out somehow, you clueless peg-holing idgit! And how the F did your kids get this old without underfrigginstanding that other people's privates are friggin private you whiny life-support-system-for-a-texting-machine? PUT DOWN THE LABEL MAKER! WE ALREADY KNOW THAT IS A REFRIGERATOR!
..He is a psychologist and an expert on sex stereotyping. ..
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@%^@%^! CALL FRIGGIN NASA! WE NEED A PALEOENVIRONMETNALISTICBIOLOGICBOTONIST WITH NUKWEEAR ASSELREALTOR EXPEREINSE TO TEACH MY FRIGGIN KIDS!!!!
There are two sexes. What those two sexes do with their jangly bits is up to them and is called their sexual preference. This guy... This guy is manbunning around with his weebo pillows, talking about "sexual stereotyping" as if it's... somebody's fault that a society with a culture may have some general friggin ideas of what people act like when they're friggin kids?
This is they guy forcing his boys to wear dresses to school so they can understand that it's OK for them to want to be a girl if that's what they really want and he'd really still be proud of them if they chose to wear a bra and lipstick to school and that, yes, they really can play with their Jiffy Bake My Little Barbie Dream House and Spa set if they really want to and he'd really like them to because that would show how healthy their respect for all sexual orientations is and that is a very mature thing for them to think about at all times, every time, during all moments in their life and let's not forget about the dolphin-@$%'ers, either, so on Wednesdays they need to strap a stuffed dolphin to their belts so they can take part in the new "Social Awareness Sexual Orientation Dolph-@$%'er's Day" at school because, after all, dolphins need love, too...
How about just tell them that you love them? How about letting them know that what they like is fine? Maybe you could even take part in things that they like and show them how to respect themselves and learn to love other people without friggin hurting anyone in the process? Maybe you should even teach them that there are people out there that don't understand everything, yet, and that they can even be cruel, but that doesn't mean that one has to be cruel in return. It's simple friggin $T$^ that a dead goat's liver taught our friggin forefathers, how in the @$%@$ have you survived for this friggin long without actually having to learn this @$@$?
..“One thing you want to be careful of,” he said, “is teaching boys to be chivalrous. We need to stop socializing boys to see women as needing protection.” ..
I'm livid. @$@% this guy. I was born and raise in the Southern United States. Not be chivalrous? WTF?
“Holding doors and giving up seats are prime examples of courtesy,” Peter said. “Of course those are good things. But the idea that women should be cherished and put on pedestals fosters what’s known as benevolent sexism, which subtly demeans women as fragile and less competent. It reinforces a sexual script in which a man takes charge while a woman remains passive.”
Even if well-intentioned, he said, benevolent sexism has been shown to correlate with hostile sexism, with threats to women “who don’t fit the idealized mold of women as pure, faithful and compliant. It’s important to promote a masculinity that’s not all about ‘protecting women,’ but rather about standing up for whoever is vulnerable.”
@Y%%@^ NEWSPEAK!
This guy, an expert on "Sexual Stereotyping" because he had to get an advanced degree in order to find his own friggin @$^@$, has never, nor ever will, understand WTF "Chivalry" is about, because all he has ever done is watch friggin "Thelma and Louise" and read books by isolated slack-jawed intellectual circle-jerkers so starved for some sort of physcial interaction that they have to resort to violently plugging themselves with books of quotable quotes by Gloria Steinem in hopes someone will friggin pay attention to them long enough for them to get laid.
Encourage Empathy
Great idea! But, how about instead of teaching your kids to see sex, everywhere, and to automagically judge everyone as a person by whether or not they have indoor or outdoor plumbling, you just teach them that EVERYONE is worthy of and deserves the same amount of consideration... in everything having to do with friggin' human beings? You're so caught up in trying to teach your friggin kids the "differences" between the fifty-bajillion different friggin sex-things you have suddenly decided to @$@$% label that you're friggin ignoring that we are all human friggin' beings. Together. "Us." That means all of us, you slopeheaded ignorant savage you... Even you. Why not teach your soon-to-be-horribly-confused children THAT?
Swap Chores
??? WTF? "Swap Chores?" Were they already being giving "sexually appropriate role chores" to begin with? Nobody gives a flying fart who the F does the dishes, just so long as they get friggin done.
"Little Johnny, it's your turn to was the dishes."
Done.
"Little Jane, it's your turn to mow the yard."
"But, I'm only three and can't reach the handle!"
"SUCK IT UP, SLACKER, I WORK HARD TO PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE YOU LITTLE INGRATE! HE'S NOT YOUR REAL DADDY!"
Keep Talking
Fathers are often the guardians of gender boundaries...
Who the.. What the... WTF is a "gender boundary?" And, why the F does it need a friggin' "guardian?"
People have decided, somehow, that humans don't have enough insecurities. They have decided that, because they are socially inept fart-sniffers who's limited amount of interaction involves telling the barista the name to write on the cup that they now must transfer their social incapacity to their children by setting "gender boundaries." HOW DID WE SURVIVE THIS LONG? In fifty years, every friggin child is going to have an existential crisis by the time they reach twelve...
No wonder the need for professional counseling for our children is growing at a terrifying rate! It's because of clueless jerkwads like this!
"No, child, you should not use examples from Pornhub as social ques. Since that is now a problem, I am going to limit the amount of time you can internetz to only five hours a day! Well, except for your livecam feed to that really nice man in Kentucky, who seems to really like you and wants to be your friend. He even sent you a "Like This" Emoji, what a pal!"
...Given the pressures from their peer groups, the pervasiveness of cultural messages and their raging hormones, how much of an influence can I really have? ..
None. You should have never gotten a parenting license. After all, you're only the most powerful force in the lives of your children. You're only their constant companion, their dutiful and loving parent, their guide in the dark, their protector and their nurturing, loving, steward. No, you have no power in the face of all those things that lie outside your own door. What's worse is that you actually believe all of that. What's worse is that you have no moral compass you can use to instruct your own children. What's worse is that you've gotten so distracted by the trees that you can't see the damn forest.
Life is not this complicated.
Back when I was a kid, distraught new parents trying to deal with poop flying everywhere and kids that wouldn't eat their peas turned to "Dr. Spock" and "B.F. Skinner." These notables were seen as life-preservers in a sea of doubts by new parents who simply thought that they "didn't know what to do."
Love. Compassion. Understanding. These aren't difficult concepts. They aren't mysterious things. Except... to this guy. Somehow, this guy has managed to get old enough to spawn without learning about these magical "life hacks."
His children are going to end up like him, afraid of everything that doesn't already have a label on it. Why? They've never had to learn the basic principles of "being human." Idgits like this guy are trying to categorize, pigeonhole, label and classify every human behavior under the sun and write some damn guide for it so they can be sure they raise their kids right because they've made an instructional manual of troubleshooting tips and life-hacks... and think they are somehow powerless to actually teach their kids some basic moral values and simple ethical principles.
I fear for the future. It's all gonn go pear-shaped if someone doesn't stand up and slap the crap out of people like this so they'll wake up from whatever crisis-ridden world they've created for themselves. They are the ones raising the leaders of our future.
And he's getting paid to write "Family" articles for the New York Friggin' Times! We're doomed. May as well go dig my hole, now.
And, then, there's this guy...
NYT - How to pose for a photograph. I... I don't even. I can't. I just need my safe-space and some blood-pressure meds, maybe some elevator music and Bob Ross teaching me how to paint "happy little clouds."
(My that felt good)
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