The Gate - Chptr 14 completed (09/06/04)

Al · Post by Al » Sun, 6. Jun 04, 22:43

Good stuff Merc. Only thing I wasn't sure of was the

"self autonomous" : I'm not sure that the "self" is required as "autonomous" implies that already.

Al

SteveMill · Post by **SteveMill** » Mon, 7. Jun 04, 10:47

Godd Stuff

Gandalf The White · Post by **Gandalf The White** » Mon, 7. Jun 04, 11:09

Nice one merc, good to see more to the story

CGrand · Post by **CGrand** » Mon, 7. Jun 04, 17:38

anyone know where i can find parts 1 and 2 of this story?

Post by **Nanook** » Mon, 7. Jun 04, 19:35

CGrand wrote:anyone know where i can find parts 1 and 2 of this story?

Part 3 refers to the latest part of Ch. 14. The links at the top of the thread list all the previous chapters in this story. For the prequels to this story, search for Trader's Tale and Trader's Tale II in this forum. Try page 6. HTH.

KiwiNZ · Post by **KiwiNZ** » Tue, 8. Jun 04, 00:23

Excellent. Do we now get to see a 'Tor-gone-all-furry'?

At least it is an indication that not all is lost. Looks like Sweety is considering leaving the people behind as soon as she may receive of Tor's death. I can imagine it to be quite scary to see an AI really learn and advance so much that you have got no controll over it whatsoever.

Looking forward to the next part!

"He decides that he would give her another Tazura" - decided

Mercenary · Post by **Mercenary** » Tue, 8. Jun 04, 08:52

Cheers all, corrections made.

ImmortalZ · Post by **ImmortalZ** » Tue, 8. Jun 04, 10:04

Marra attempted to wipe the tiredness from her eyes as they completed the fourteenth unsucessful simulation. She had always had some appreciation for the fragility of the human body and as she had gained an insight into Mohrabas physiology she she came to realize just how weak the human form was.

Two 'she's.

With a gently purr ThaChynra commented, "I think it is time for you to reconsider the proposal for genetic re-sequencing of Tor's immune system. To make it more aligned with ours which will allow the serum to do it's job."

Isnt it like 'With a gentle purr'.

Very nice addition. Looks like we're gonna have Tor with a turbocharged immune system. Wonder where you're going with Sweety tho

(That is, IF you mean something is happening to her with that thought from Broden)

pixel · Post by **pixel** » Wed, 9. Jun 04, 20:22

Hey Merc

Could you stop messing about on the job search front and get back to the serious business of writing this please?

great read

[Seriously though, I hope you find the job you want ASAP

]

Mercenary · Post by **Mercenary** » Wed, 9. Jun 04, 22:31

Cheers ImmortalZ and corrected.

And Pixel, the final part of the chapter is under the -------

Fear · Post by **Fear** » Wed, 9. Jun 04, 22:36

So he finaly found Ghaan, good job, and really good read from chapter 10-14. Yeh I haven't been around here much

KiwiNZ · Post by **KiwiNZ** » Wed, 9. Jun 04, 23:01

Excellent!! There is a lot of emotion in this part! Glad to see Tor survive. It could have been interesting to see Sweety pull it all off but a vital part of the story would have gone lost. I presume the Defiance is now more formidable than the Roamer

It won't have the shields but Sweety probably replicated the alien's charged hull, possibly in a variant that neutralises the particle beam?

Looking forward to the next chapter!

pixel · Post by **pixel** » Thu, 10. Jun 04, 00:59

cool, nice (or maybe worrying?) to see Sweety still has a few tricks under her sleeve!!!

your novel is becoming v impressive

one thing, at the end Sweety says 'take it as red', maybe take it as read?

Gandalf The White · Post by **Gandalf The White** » Thu, 10. Jun 04, 10:24

cool stuff. Keep it coming.

SteveMill · Post by **SteveMill** » Thu, 10. Jun 04, 10:26

Someone should disconnect that AI before it begins chewing the carpet.

KiwiNZ · Post by **KiwiNZ** » Thu, 10. Jun 04, 10:34

SteveMill wrote:Someone should disconnect that AI before it begins chewing the carpet.

Mercenary · Post by **Mercenary** » Thu, 10. Jun 04, 13:06

SteveMill wrote:Someone should disconnect that AI before it begins chewing the carpet.

"More human than human is our motto."

ImmortalZ · Post by **ImmortalZ** » Thu, 10. Jun 04, 16:06

Nice part Merc! Looks like Tor is one lucky bastage

Oh yea, did you write this too quick? I noticed some punctuation mistakes (commas, colons and the like missing). Not like you...

Mercenary · Post by **Mercenary** » Thu, 10. Jun 04, 17:50

ImmortalZ wrote:Oh yea, did you write this too quick? I noticed some punctuation mistakes (commas, colons and the like missing). Not like you...

Too much sitting around enjoying the sunshine. It seems to have boiled the brain slightly.

I'll go through the master first and update later.

Cheers.

Adamskini · Post by **Adamskini** » Thu, 10. Jun 04, 20:17

always a fantastic read

egosoft.com

egosoft.com

The Gate - Chptr 14 completed (09/06/04)

Nice :)

Nice :)

Re: Nice :)