Rogues Revenge Chapter 2 completed 23.5.03

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Post by Deleted User »

Keep it up.

IO
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Adamskini
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Post by Adamskini »

nicely finished, but as that one was shorter we expcet the next FULL chapter in an hours time :D


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Al
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Post by Al »

Interesting end to the chapter. I personally find the very end a little confusing. I find the jump from the Split saying it will be war to the agreement of the proposal just a little dis-jointed. Perhaps if the Split concede after the Paranid do, and retract the bit about war? Maybe not but hopefully you see what I'm rattling on about.

Failing that just leave it as is ;)

Al
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

Al wrote:Interesting end to the chapter. I personally find the very end a little confusing. I find the jump from the Split saying it will be war to the agreement of the proposal just a little dis-jointed. Perhaps if the Split concede after the Paranid do, and retract the bit about war? Maybe not but hopefully you see what I'm rattling on about.

Failing that just leave it as is ;)

Al
Thanks Al, I've rewritten and reformatted to make things clearer, hopefully.

Thanks everyone else too, thanks Spikey, glad I'm posting something that isn't driving people away from the forum. :(
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Gandalf The White
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Post by Gandalf The White »

I like it Steve, I like it indeed.
some who deserve life receive death. Others who deserve death receive life. Can you give it to them? Don't be eager to deal out death in judgement, for not even the wise can see all ends.
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Al
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Post by Al »

Much better. It now reads that all agree to backing down and handing the sector to Max :D

Al
X2 Capture Guru - X3:TC Noob :D
X2 Capture Guide
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KiwiNZ
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Post by KiwiNZ »

Excellent read, Steve!

Woohoo, so now we are getting on track. Keep it coming. I agree with Skini :D
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SteveMill
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Post by SteveMill »

KiwiNZ wrote:Excellent read, Steve!

Woohoo, so now we are getting on track. Keep it coming. I agree with Skini :D
I'll try and get a substantial section done over the long weekend.
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Moss
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Post by Moss »

SteveMill wrote:
KiwiNZ wrote:Excellent read, Steve!

Woohoo, so now we are getting on track. Keep it coming. I agree with Skini :D
I'll try and get a substantial section done over the long weekend.
Hehe good news and heres another one that'll be watching eagerly for that next chapter.

I think you did the politics very well, short to the point and even interesting!!! not at all like real life, which is absolutly fine by me :D

Keep it coming Steve just keep it coming :wink:
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KiwiNZ
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Post by KiwiNZ »

bump
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