Dangerous Mission

[KaRsKiN]

Just the start of a short story im writing, what do you guys think? Do you like the way its going?


A small point of intense light appeared, expanding into a bright flash then disappearing as quick as at had formed, anyone watching the event would merely think their mind was playing tricks on them. However, the flash had actually being the event horizon of the Argon explorer vessel Hope of Light jumping into the sector. Captain Aukland opened his eyes, shaking off the familiar feeling of nausea that he associated with gateless jump-travel. He glanced around the bridge of his ship, the Nebulae in the sector cast a deep blue light on the panels and instruments before him, the effect was quite Aesthetically pleasing he thought to himself. He quickly dismissed the idea, there were far more pressing and dangerous issues at hand.
“Mr Akira, are we where we should be?” he asked one of the other figures inhabiting the bridge.
“Aye sir, the Jump was successful, all sensors show that we are in Kha’ak sector 01” Akira replied with more of a hint of fear in his voice. Aukland knew the fear wasn’t unprecedented, they were by anyone’s reckoning in the most dangerous place in the known universe. The Hope of Light had been tasked with surveying one of the Kha’ak sectors in the hope that some glimmer of intelligence could be gathered on the elusive insect-like race. using co-ordinates gathered during the opening moves of the Kha’ak war, and armed with the most powerful cloaking devices available, the ship would be placing advanced spy-satellites in the Kha’ak sector, which would relay Information back to the Argon high command. The Hope of Light would also, if the opportunity arose, be required to scan one of the Kha’ak’s asteroid habitats, providing information on the anatomy of these strange creatures. The mission was incredibly dangerous, if the cloaking device failed, or if the Kha’ak scanners weren’t fooled by it, there was a high chance that the Hope of Light wouldn’t be returning intact, or indeed at all.
“Excellent” said Aukland, he surveyed the sector plot before him, taking in the vast emptiness surrounding the vessel. This, he knew, meant that the tech droids back on the Argon One had done their job. The co-ordinates that were input into the ships system would place the ship hundreds of kilometres outside the main Kha’ak installations, so as not to arouse unnecessary suspicion.
“Do we have a vector for the Satellite placement location?” he enquired, to no one in particular.
“Affirmative captain” replied Draxx, the ships navigator “Entering co-ordinates into the database now” The vessel rumbled as the engines kicked in, the forward thrust vectors positioning the ship to face directly into the blue nebulae. The Hope of Light was a modified Argon M6 Centaur, all unnecessary equipment had been removed to allow space for the Gateless jump drive system and the powerful Boron cloaking device. “Unnecessary Equipment” included the ships weapon systems. The Argon technicians had known that if the Vessels position was compromised, then no amount of weaponry in the universe would save it. The trade off was worth it however, the Boron cloaking device rendered the ship completely invisible, both to the naked eye, and to the most advanced Gravidar systems, at least that was the theory. The various deck-hands and crew members sprang into life as the ship began the journey into the Kha’ak sector. Aukland knew that this was the finest crew available in the Argon Navy, gathered from the most hardened veterans of the Xenon war, and the battle of Omicron Lyrae. Aukland himself has served in the Navy for nearly thirty years. He had seen action against the Xenon, the Kha’ak and even the Split. His face was weathered with the terrors of war, age and the responsibility of command. He had happily accepted this latest assignment, he enjoyed the thrill of action, and raiding a Kha’ak sector would certainly be full of action. Whether or not that would be a good thing was yet to be seen.
He paced around the bridge, checking the various scanners and data plots around him, there were still several hours to go before they reached their destination, and Aukland could feel the tension in the air. The crew half expected to die on this mission, yet they went about their various tasks like normal, the routing hammered into them by years of service. He walked upto his helmsman, placing a worn hand on his shoulder.
“Anything on the screen yet Mr. Akira?” he asked calmly
“As a matter of fact Captain, long range Gravidar has just reported an M5 class vessel about a hundred kilometres away, its of Kha’ak origin sir” Aukland licked his lips, he was nervous, unusual for him. The vessel was only an M5 class, yet it made him feel uneasy. He glanced at his crew members, they, like him were all staring nervously at the sector plot in the centre of the bridge.
“At ease men, its only a scout…were outside of his sensor range, not that it matters if the cloaking device holds up” He had to maintain an air of calm, it wasn’t good for a Captain to loose face in front of his crew.
As the Hope of Light moved further into the sector, more Kha’ak vessels appeared on the Gravidar. Ranging from what appeared to be transport vessels, to the huge battleships that the Kha’ak were feared for. As Aukland watched, a Kha’ak fighter wandered dangerously close his vessel, passing within 50 metres. The ship held its breath, watching the Angular ship on the view-screen , knowing that if they were detected…the result wasn’t worth thinking about.

[teladianium]

sounds good enough for the start, but could you break the text up a bit into smaller paragraphs, those large blocks of text are a bit hard on my aged eyes.

cheers...

[collins50]

A desant start,
alitt back ground on the ship,

will see how it goes.
good luck

[parameter]

sounds good enough for the start, but could you break the text up a bit into smaller paragraphs, those large blocks of text are a bit hard on my aged eyes.

cheers...

Same here!