Station Operations

[NewtSoup]

Inspired by Simon Travaglia.

So I’m here in Eighteen Billion, hired as Station Operations Supervisor for the Teladi Trading Station. It’s way too hot and I’m bored. I decide to reconnect the communications console and it immediately pipes up “Incoming Call – level 1 priority”. Sure it is. What the hell, I click receive.
“What isss going on? We have been trying to contact you for the lasst sstazura.” Hisses the Transport Captain on the other end. “Much proffitsss will be losst if you do not give us clearance to leave now stupid human!”

Uh oh, did he just call me stupid? I check his schedule, ahh yes, he was supposed to leave with a Split businessman for Family Rhonkar two stazuras ago.

“Please accept my apologies for the delay” I reply politely, “there was a communications fault and maintenance was busy tracing a fault in the ventilation systems, You have clearance to leave”. ( I wonder if they caught the Argonian Musk Rat I put in there yet?)

“Do not let it happen again!” *click*

What the? He cut me off! Right, I will NOT let that happen again. I quickly fire up my personal version of the System Override Software and a few second’s later his navigation computer is convinced that the quickest way to anywhere is through Xenon Sector 437. As an afterthought I decide to change his command authorisation to “asdfasjfalkjf” and set the computer to lock everything down once the autopilot is engaged.

I decide to cheer myself up some more by going through the personal mail of the humans on board the station. I spot a romantic proposal from one of the Goner Monks currently aboard to one of the male members of purchasing that would make a good station announcement. I reckon morale is a bit low here of late so I crowbar it into the translator message queue. Shortly after the announcement I hear the alarms go off summoning repair crews to docking bay five. It seems the engines of a Goner Ranger just went critical.

The communications console bleeps again, that’s twice today damn it.

“Hello operations”.

“Is that the Information Station?”

For crying out loud new Universe Traders are getting deafer by the mizura.

“Yes it is”, I lie.

“I’m having trouble locating good deals locally, I was wondering if you could help me.”

Someone hasn’t worked out how to use their best buy software properly yet then. But being of good nature I decide to help the poor soul.

“Ok, let me have a look. Yes, Yes, I see the ideal opportunity. What you have to do is fetch 2 Mosquito Missiles from Seeker Missile Complex Alpha in Great Trench and deliver them to the Trading Station there.”

“But that won’t fetch a good profit.”

“To start with, no, but it will cause a Transient Destabilisation Anomaly in the local market.”

“uhhhh, what then?” I sense the IQ drop in the pilot with the use of technobabble.

“Well it’s obvious,” I snap, “It will cause the software of all traders within 5 jumps to go into diagnostics working out what you are up to, that leaves the best deals open to you.”

“oh right thanks!”

“No need to thank me, it’s why I’m here. You have to do it at least 50 times remember”

“Ok”

I love my job.

[SOTS]

*Evil chuckle* There's going to be more of these, right?

[Dilzo]

HA HA HA HA HA HA ROFL LOL ROFL (sorry 4 the overkill)

that was good no deep annoying stotyline just some dude at work (what i said was a bit stupid there) pulled off very nicely