The Executor Chapter 3

[A.r.m]

6 Months had past since the argon military Turned there back on the captain and since then they had hunted for him tirelessly. but they couldn't even catch a glimce of him. The reason Was Simple the Captian was not in known space. He was exploring the old imperial capital, there was a large building and inside The Captian was Searching for a way to destroy his enemies. As by this point 'The Walls Protector' was slaved to the executor and The Imperial Fury And The Hood were both complete Keeping guard around high above that surface of the planet. But to the casual eye the executor was missing this was because she docked with the large building.

In the archives the building the Captian found what he was looking for a File told of the power of this weapon and where it was located. As this point he left the building and looked at the mass of rubble and damaged building surrounding him and thought this was once a huge city that was the envy of the galaxy. At this point he knew the argon would smarten up and arrive soon so he ran into the huge Ship and began to fire the engines up. as he did this an alarm sounded, he was to late i huge multi racial fleet arrived from the X-universe. He Decided to Flew the Maw and complete the last super weapon. he ordered the 3 SSD's in High orbit to leave the planet and flew to remote regions of space and await contact from the Flagship, as the order went out the 3 ships broke formation and pointed in the directions they choose and blasted off into hyperspace. the fleet didnt know what had just happened, the Hood shot off in there direction and tokk out 3 ships. As the admirals decided what to do next the Sensors Officers barged in and Blurted out that the Captian was Coming up from the planet.

The Captian was hailed Amediatly he left the Atmosphere but he didnt bother to reply and instead told the ship to Power up the shields and Weapons, the MR (Multi Racial) Fleet Noted this an ordered the other ships to open fire but as predicted no damage was recorded and the shield didnt drop much. at this point the Flagship fired back but only a limited salvo and the only damage recorded was on the enignes and as the dust settled the Flagship was facing away from the fleet and Began to move into hyperspace, the Battle Was Over and the argon recorded the ship missing again and returns to argon after the damage was repaired.

as the Flagship left hyperspace the captin noted he was in the middle of the Maw and infront of him he saw the Final Super Weapon. The captian ordered a recoverer Ship to fly out and retreive it. As the captian waited he opened the file to see what the true power of the weapon. it read '' after studing the affects of the weapon it power is Twice the power of the Death star two and can fire faster and more accuratly. but you cannot fire it for sustained bursts therefore a ship equiped with the Weapon will need a limiter. copies of the gun may be made but must be extremely accurate or it may not work'' just as he finished reading this a message come through explaining that the weapon was not working and was worth nothing. at hearing this the captian smashed the screen and turned round and went off this was his only chance to help the argon. he decided to stay here as experiment with the experimenteal weapons that littered the maw. as the looked at the weapon he noted one that looked promising and ask the computer and identify it a give its details as the computer read them out he realised it was a copy of the weapon aboard the Flagship but only it fired eight inot a centre point and sent the enlarged beam at the target. the Captian realised that the Super Weapons on his ships could be joined up and take out A planet or at least split in in half. at this moment a message come through, ''Hood is under attack emeny defeated awaiting orders, enemy fleet was a MR One''

'' Well time to act'' The captian said ''Computer. Order hood, The walls Protector and the imperial fury to enter hyperspace and return to The Wall'' ''Order Accepted''. after the ship left hyperspace the others where waiting. '' Order all Friendly ships in sector to attack all Forces. Do not use the Superguns'' with this the ships attacked the stations and military ships. after 30minutes and MR Fleet arrived to attack the 4 SSD's but to there horror the ships started to obliterate the MR Fleet But they had a suprise and soon a 5th SSD entered. but on the side of the MR Fleet in Came along side the FlagShip and began to attack it. the Second SSD The Hood came along side the 5th SSD then a fierce battle erupted and shots pounded each others shield and then the hull but while this went on the 2 other SSD's moved into position and started to charge the Superguns but as they fired the beams collided. a shock wave went through the system and then a Super beam Shot off towards the 5th SSD and began to break it appart then carried onto towards then Moon 300,000 miles away and then the unthinkable happened the moon split and then disintergrated at the sight of this the MR fleet broke appart in an atempt to flee. in the disarray the the 4 SSD's opened fire at full power this abliterated the MR fleet when only one ship remained the Firing stoped. this was an act or mercy as it was the ship of the high admiral who warned him so many months ago. he had him come aboard the flagship as his deputy but he was to stay on the flagship and assist in planning the Finall Assaults on the Capital Worlds Of the Five races. End Of part 3.

Let me Know what u think and stop going on about grammer i'm not very good at it

[philip_hughes]

Hit submit twice. Sorry.

[philip_hughes]

6 Months had past since the argon military Turned THEIR back on the captain and since then they had hunted for him tirelessly. They couldn't even catch a GLIMPSE of him. The reason Was Simple; the Captian was not in known space. He was exploring the old imperial capital, there was a large building and inside the Captian was Searching for a way to destroy his enemies. The Walls Protector was slaved to the executor and The Imperial Fury And The Hood were both complete Keeping guard high above THE surface of the planet. To the casual eye the executor was missing. This was because she WAS docked with the large building.

In the archives building, the Captian found what he was looking for; A file THAT told of the power of this weapon and where it was located. AT this point he left the building and looked at the mass of rubble and damaged building surrounding him. "This was once a huge city" He mused, and was correct. There was a time that this area with its sprawling edifices were the envy of the galaxy. There was no time for reflection though, he knew the argon would smarten up and arrive soon so he ran into HIS ship and began to fire the MASSIVE engines up. The moment he did this, an alarm sounded. He was too late, for a huge multi racial fleet arrived from the X-universe.

Corrected a bit of spelling and grammar here and there. Also gave examples of how you could paint a word-picture of what this guy is seeing and experiencing. You also need to think about different ways of starting the sentence. People only read "The captain" so many times before zoning out. I know its tedious work. The next bit that you wrote was jammed together. there is a lot of action that needs to be fleshed out. This piece still needs two or three major edits before its good to go but don't be discouraged. Writing is a very trying discipline and it is good that you are doing this at all. How many other people do you know that are trying to write a book? None I would guess. Keep going.

[biggie1447]

what happened to the defected argon crew?

where did the 5 SSD come from?

it seems like there is some missing information, good story still, but it seems to jump around a bit

[A.r.m]

well if u read chapter two properly you would understand why and the 5th Ssd is not friendly im working on chapter 4 now but its going to be longer hopefully