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This computer cannot play audio because the Windows Audio service is not enabled. Enable this service using the Service Management Console.
No sound card was found. If one is expected, you should install a sound driver provided by the hardware manufacturer.
ASUS Xonar DSX PCIe 7.1 GX2.5 Audio Engine 192K/24bit Playback Support Sound Cards
It plays sounds fine (and even records sound), just not in the game. I have no idea why.
If it matters, please realize that this sound card is connected internally to the GTX 260 via S/PDIF cables so that the HDMI out works. I am NOT currently using the HDMI out. That screen is not even connected, but I set it up with SPDIF cables in case I do need it. Output is properly set to Speakers, which is why regular windows sounds work via the 3.5mm out of the sound card.
dxdiag64 reports this for 2 of the three sounds including speakers:
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The file cmudaxp.sys is not digitally signed, which means that it has not been tested by Microsoft's Windows Hardware Quality Labs (WHQL). You may be able to get a WHQL logo'd driver from the hardware manufacturer.