mrbadger wrote:Since I have no way of knowing why the student in question either:
1: didn't do the exercises they were asked to.
2: didn't turn up to lectures.
3: didn't come for tutorial sessions.
4: doesn't pay attention in the lecture.
Laziness is a useful term, as I can never know the real reason. They may have just out from under a controlling parent and discovered cannabis.
But, you do know now that he, as a student, is not inherently "lazy." He's demonstrated that he is not, even if he didn't demonstrate that before. And, even if he appeared to be the exact opposite of "industrious."
Whatever the reason, the result is the same, and in a class of over fifty students, I do not have the time to nursemaid them.
But, you did see potential and you acted upon that, as a good instructor should do, in order to, perhaps, "save" that potential from being wasted.
You acted. You formulated a plan. (or didn't, I dunno
) You let him have it, gave him a kick in the pants, and said/did whatever it was, perhaps in a shocking/confrontational manner (not judging, just describing) and in such a way to get him so stirred up that he discussed it with his father, who happened to agree with you. This came together to form some force that could have motivated him to begin to apply himself. I think that's a reasonable assumption.
This was an efficient judgement and an expedient course of action, given the circumstances and the roles and relationships of those involved.
But, it may not have been a correct judgement and, perhaps, it may not have been the best way to motivate him or to "solve" the problem. It worked, but because it worked, that doesn't intrinsically justify the "judgement." Who knows what he felt that was keeping him from applying himself? What was standing in his way? What really happened that turned the course of his academic career around?
Could a different observation and a different course of action had the same positive results? Maybe. We don't know, of course.
It's probably wrong. In most cases these kids probably aren'y emotionally ready to be at university, and may never be. There may be somewhere that they would be fully engaged.
They're not ready to be making decisions, supported by a course of intense actions, that will form the substance of "the rest of their lives." Heck, most people aren't ready for that sort of critical point, but most inevitably reach it, stumbling in the dark or wide-eyed through the light.
Or maybe not, sometimes someoneone who appears to be lazy is just lazy. I don't know, and will never know.
That's very true. I'm "lazy." Well, I'm lazy, these days. And, I don't do all the things that I should. But, it's not really because I'm truly a lazy person. I'll rip my own arm off and beat an alligator to death with it in order to save someone else, especially if it's a friend. I'm lazy because I'm not too concerned about myself and things I should be concerned about... (Too much introspection breeds morose... is morosity a word?
)
The point is this:
A woman will know whether or not she will look favorably upon one's romantic attentions within the first few minutes of meeting.
I find that fact fascinating. It takes an immense amount of effort and a great number, usually, of extraordinary circumstances to change that initial judgement. And then, the moment is past, the opportunity is lost, the future takes a fixed course and one is instantly "friendzoned" for eternity...
Our judgements of other people help to form our reactions to them and what decisions we make that concern them. Those reactions, for good or ill, can have long-term consequences and will surely have some impact upon our future course of action. Those initial assessments, right or wrong, will dictate, in part, our future interactions with that person.
Would your student have reacted positively if you took him into your office and talked with him about his coursework and performance, perhaps getting him to open up as to why he was not applying his obvious talent? Perhaps a shared cup of coffee would have helped and just the fact that you paid singular attention to him could have made him realize he didn't value the opportunity as much as he should?
We'll never know and it won't matter, anyway, since what appears to be a positive result is truly what happened. It's all good.
But, one could have just as well said that young man was depressed or lost or unsure of himself. And then, one could have said that a good, revealing, heart-to-heart conversation with him could have helped him to discover his problem and to conquer it in order to truly apply himself. Or not..
Maybe he just needed to be yelled at.
(Not saying that's what you did, just showing the stark contrast between acts that yield the outward results.)
All this may sound tremendously naive. I'm not naive, though. I just try not to make those judgements of another person which severely narrow a set of reactions that could be supported, logically, by such a judgement. It takes quite a bit of negative reinforcement for me to abandon a neutral, more hopeful, "judgement" of someone that would force me to adopt rational, negative, reactionary behavior to them. I'm not perfect, of course, I only "try" to do this, with varying amounts of success and no few failures.
