So... Is it bad that my mother thinks I am a psycopath / sociopath?

[greypanther]

Mmmm, thats just a bi too much perhaps.

You said:
I will willingly laugh on the grave of a suicide, in real life as well as on the internet. And if someone were to be decapitated in front of me by a tire flying into their face I would probably go up to them and look to see just how much damage was done, and then pull out a sheet of paper and a pen to both sketch the damage as well as the trajectory of said tire to figure out the total force of impact to recreate it in some analytical/scientific form for later use.

Thats just a tad bit, well, cold.

@ Gavrushka: Sorry I had no idea, I'll never poke you again with my warped sense of humour; hope you get better soon.

( I have the name of a good shrink you know? )

[Gavrushka]

Greypanther... WUT? You mean me finding the Darwinian Award video funny?

I think by the age of 24, which GalenEvil is, I had developed enough of a social conscience to empathise with those less fortunate... - I wonder if the use of the internet to develop those same 'social skills' has left some people able to become clinically detached from the suffering of others... Experiences on the internet, are then translated into the real world, rather than visa versa.... I feel such people are going to need a lot of help, or become perpetual social malcontents.

[Morkonan]

Galenevil..

After reading your comments, I can say that "Yes, you are a horrible person."

You seem to take some pleasure in your own deformities, real, imagined or fake. You revel in the misfortune of others, enjoy contemplating their pain and appear to justify the pleasure you receive simply by referring to yourself in various hypothetical situations engaging in these activities as if it were normal behavior. That you might enjoy irony is understandable. That you take great enjoyment from tragic irony, pain, the misfortunes of others and, apparently, take pleasure from imagining yourself observing these things and enjoying them is disturbing.

I think you're wallowing too deep in a cesspit that you've created for yourself. You're identifying with it and embracing it, for reasons I couldn't begin to claim to know. In other words, you're hooked on it, like some sort of mental pornography, some substitute for involvement in a more real, more emotionally connected world that you have yet to experience or have chosen to reject. You are, in effect, stimulating yourself badly. I don't mean that in a comical sense. I mean that you've become so desensitized to the empathic revulsion a normal person would feel that you've substituted the pleasurable stimulation that all these ideas bring to you for the more positive emotional and empathic things that other people take for granted.

What is simple joy for you? What is pleasure? What makes you feel good in the emotional sense? Do you have true friends? Have you ever had feelings for another person? Love? These are rhetorical questions, but you should answer them for yourself. You speak of sociopathy and empathy as if you've polled definitions, looking for your own answers. Did you come across asocial behaviors in your search? Anti-social personality disorder? Have you heard the phrase "Malignant Narcissim?" Though I hate wikis for this sort of thing and I must caution anyone that such a reference is no substitute for a clinical opinion, they can be informative. (Malignant Narcissim is descriptive, not a diagnosed condition.) If you tried, you couldn't have outlined a sharper case study for a malignant narcissist.. Maybe this was purposeful? It would be likely, if you actually fit the bill.

That being said, the only problem is whether or not you feel that you wish to alter this behavior, it's preventing you from leading what you believe is a normal life or you act further on your passions and instead of being an observer, desire to become a participant. If any of these things are true, then get help. There are plenty of accredited counselors and therapists out there who wouldn't blink twice at taking you on as a patient, even if you just wanted a consultation. Who knows, perhaps you'd enjoy shocking them? I bet they've heard worse.

There's a point where taking enjoyment by shocking people or admitting to outrageous pleasures, just to gauge their reactions, turns from simple adolescent hijinks into a real problem. Though you may feel secure in having found some sort of constructed identity within all these perverse, and yes they are perverse, passions, it's a very frail and dangerous cage you're weaving for yourself.

Reveling in the misfortune and pain of others is no substitute for true empathy. You can not invent feelings by diving into someone else's plain and taking pleasure from it. It doesn't work that way. You also can not escape your own emotions by purposefully evoking them and then driving them back down. True feelings and true emotions are not that artificial and don't respond well to being manipulated like that. Either you have squirreled your own feelings away somewhere, learned to avoid them or actually do have a diagnosable problem. In any event, no matter the circumstances that prompted your post, I would suggest that you seek professional help, even if it was only for a single consultation. I offer that advice not in an effort to belittle you, but out of true concern. Take that as you will.

[Jumee]

meh, just because he wouldn't cry when someone dies in front of him does not necessarily make him a bad or a crazy person, if he does not know those people, or does not care for them much, they had absolutely no emotional or other connection to him, so why should GalenEvil care a tiniest bit? I mean it is one thing if his brother or best friend died and he started laughing (and not the nervous emotional shock laugh, but a sincere laughter just cause he finds it funny) than maybe

Now, regarding the question - if you actually do not care and/or find it funny well, there is no need to hide it really -> that will definitely make you look like a psychopath (imagine you see someone die and start pretending that you care, and suddenly burst out laughing -> thats going to be awkward, huh?)

Though, I have to ask - have you actually seen a person die? I mean with your own eyes, and not die in a ehm "clean" way -> but a messy, gory death? Is your "I'll take a pen and calculate a trajectory" based on your "vision" or lets say hypothesis of what you would do, or have it actually happened?

[Morkonan]

I think /b has infected teh internetz.

[cj-spartacus]

Are you sociopathic? I don't know but I suspect not.

You seem more like a silly teenage attention seeker and at 24 that is probably not a good sign.

Anyway on the subject of cyber bullying I found this to be rather poignant and amusing in a dark way.

[greypanther]

@ Gavrushka. You posted:
If someone was mentally unwell and perhaps suicidal, they need help not scorn. - Problem is that on the internet, we don't know enough about the one we are mocking, in most instances, to understand the damage we do.

It was my pathetic attempt at humour, considering my constant mentioning of the suit thing an all. Sorry, won't happen again guv'nr, honest...

Strong words there from Morkonan, you went far further than I would of; too many unkown parameters, as it were. Not everyone is as strong as the mighty Gavrushka. ( )

However Galens comments remind me of a friend of a friend who served in the British army in the first Gulf War. He was in command of a Warrior APC and was involved in the initial advance, after all that shock and awe, ( B52s wasn't it bombing the Iraqi positions? ) anyway as they advanced, with no resistance he could see figures approaching through the dust, being wired and ready to go, he assumed that they were attacking troops and opened fire with the main gun. ( 40 mm? )

They were not of course, they were Iraqi troops yes, but trying very hard to surrender, shell shocked and dazed. He said with a very blank look on his face that they realised they had opened fire on troops trying to surrender by mistake. He also described how everyone on board his Warrior got out to take a look at the effects of a 40 mm shell on the human body. The poor Iraqi's torso was just a ragged ring of flesh with a huge hole in it; or should that be the other way around? A hole surrounded by the remenants of flesh?

Either way he related the story without any expression of empathy at all. Claimed no regret. However he went to war a bit of a gentlemans sausage; came back a quiet contemplative sort; truly a different man, master of the thousand yard stare.

Desensitized, yes that was the word I was looking for; cold works too
though.


@ galenEvil: Its good that you are questioning yourself, we all need to do that constantly, lest bad things creep in. I do it all the time. However the time to worry is when you stop that questioning and just brush aside other's concerns.
To me you come accross as a decent, inteligent person. Don't stop questioning yourself, but I doubt there is anything to worry about. Just keep your sense of humour to yourself a bit more.

[Incubi]

judge me threads are so fun
Be back after my cup joe.

[Gavrushka]

I think Morkonan has made a pretty good call... Look how the OP went out of his way to prove he was not 'an average guy' in response to an earlier post I'd made... - He made a concerted attempt to shock by his 'revelations' of just how debased he can be - I think a thread all about him will feed his 'issues', which most of us can leave behind age 16 or 17.

It seems unusual for a forum user to invite us to discuss his issues, although I doubt it is a cry for help... You have to first acknowledge that you are broken before offering yourself up to be fixed.

Galenevil, I really do pity you, and I mean that in the genuine sense.

@Greypanther... LOL - Yes, I can admit to a couple of breakdowns in my earlier days... one fairly recent... but I very much doubt I'll implode further. I know where I can and cannot tread.

[greypanther]

Oh dear, there is no point making a joke, if you have to explain it is there?

Don't know about GalenEvil, but I think I am very much misunderstood.

[Tsar_of_Cows]

[IcarusJones]

Well, I was going to chip in and say that the OP was neither a sociopath nor psychopath, but was instead socially dysfunctional. However, Morkonan has, I believe, hit the nail squarely on the thumb with a truly excellent analysis.

Even replying on this thread feeds the OP's need for exposure.

@greypanther, regarding soldiers coming home in a desensitised state. This is not a good thing. Soldiers who become desensitised often become inhumane also. The really good soldiers are the ones who look at the consequences of their actions, are appalled by the resulting deaths, and are able to temper their future actions with a greater understanding and greater sense of empathy with their antagonists. Soldiers who feel nothing about death are often the most dangerous kind. It's not black and white of course. It may seem counter-intuitive but these days we try not to throw away lives in a war, either our side or their side. Not always succesfully though.

Anyhoo, back to the OP. A desire to shock is directly related to self-confidence issues. Go see a therapist.

Icky

[greypanther]

I know Icky, that was the point I was trying to make, just trying to be subtle.

Galen's comments brought back the memory of that war description very strongly; thus I could not help but wonder if there was a connection.
Most of the veterans I have met have dealt with their experiences, OVER TIME, very well. That goes for conflicts from WW2, all the way up to Gulf war 2. There was one exception, an ex para who served in both the Falklands and the first gulf war; he seemed to enjoy the conflicts. He even did several tours with the so called Iraqi ' security ' companies.

I have never served with the armed forces Icky, unlike you, but have known many veterans. You see thats another of my faults, I will talk to anyone and everyone, so have ended up talking to people from all walks of life. its hard for me to admit it, but I can be a good listener, am naturally empathic. ( No honest its true, just leave my hobby horse's alone! ) I have an awful lot of other people's stories in my head, which is bad I think, because on reflection, that perhaps means I have lived through other people; rather than living myself.

Whichever way you cut it though this thread has been a bad one though. The borderline character assasination has just been plain wrong imo. We know far too few of the facts and one or two here have disapointed me. Not that it matters, its only the internet; we are all just cyphers here?

If Galen has issues, he needs help not ridicule. If he is just attention seeking, then we have all fed the attention monster! Either way, its not good. I worry that Galen is perhaps a veteran, the simularities seem to be strong. I hope that he is ok and I am just being stupid again, that is one thing I have had to learn to live with.

Who here on this forum can stand up and say with hand on heart they have no flaws? Who here on this forum can say that they know everything?
This is another thread that again prods me into taking a look at myself.

[Gavrushka]

I doubt GalenEvil is a veteran... I have the impression he's a young lad that's never left home nor ever had a fulfilling relationship... I really do think he is a product of the non-direct socialisation that is the internet... Yes, he does need help and perhaps this was some kind of strangled cry for it.

I wish there was more that could be done beyond addressing his issues on here- I hope his reading them, and contemplating them, will lead to some form of action that will put him on a road to recovery.

[Antilogic]