Real Space Pilots ...... and Other Bragging

[apricotslice]

I cant help it, I am sorry before I begin,

But.....

Fud and I started it in the thread about what ship to extend yourself in.

And ended up with a Disco with no shields or guns for taking on the Xenon single handed (or something).

Someone else in a thread I just read had a good insult/brag.

And I just had to start a thread where all the bragging thats ever been done can be posted or reposted here so we can all have a good laugh.

Warning though : If the thread is any good, it will go into the X3 Handbook, so posting here is giving your permission to use it.

Please keep it X universe related, but really funny ones are welcome anyway. We all need a good laugh periodically.

[apricotslice]

[Metasynaptic]

During the first gulf war, a British Tornado was credited with a 'maneuver kill' of an Iraqi Mig 29. The tornado dodged, and the Mig 29 crashed into the ground.

That sort of thing?

[apricotslice]

In X3 terms, yes, thats fine. There have been some "I hid behind a roid and the enemy crashed into it" boasts.

[Metasynaptic]

Well, I regularly do assassination missions where I fly so close to the TL, that the TL's escorts end up doing more damage to their employer than to me.

I could probably fly around with no guns and still probably destroy the target.

[fud]

I found out, no less than an hour ago, that you can kill a K with nothing more than a M5.



Procedure:

1. Fly, fast, between a J and a K.
2. Dodge snowballs.
3. Watch snowballs pound the piss out of the K.
4. Repeat.


I actually think I didn't fire a single shot. I got out of there, got a slightly beefier ship with more cargo and scooped up the 6 GPPCs in a crate.


In the back of my mind, all I could think of, was the K getting pissed off at the J, and they'd just start shooting each other intentionally. If only....


For modding fun, sometimes I'll take a Falcon with some extra shielding on it, and just ram harriers and busters. Just puts a big smile on my face.

[softweir]

I was taking on a medium Kha'ak cluster in Rhonkar's Clouds, in a Split Mamba Raider. I fired my one and only mosquito missile at the Fighter and ran for it, taking care to fly v. close to the laser tower guarding the Trading Port on my way. I was very pleased that the LT took on and destroyed the fighter, which caused the scouts to forget me and turn on the laser tower, which enabled me to turn around and pick them off more-or-less at my leisure.

OK, I can take on a cluster of that size in my Mamba without any help, but it's more *FUN* luring them to an enemy!

[beach07]

anyone can kill a pirate without firing a shot...

if they're after you, try hiding inside structures, such as behind the docking port in an argon trading station... or inside the loops of a cahoona bakery...

then watch the pirates ram themselves to death as they make sweeps and attempt to destroy you

just be careful: some of their lasers go through the buildings

[Freeholder]

I'll be impressed when someone documents a kill in X3 while flying a spacesuit

Surviving the experience wins bonus points

[esd]

Here's a true story from my early X² gaming (Kill Khaak with Mining Laser!) and I was lucky enough to make the first ever confirmed capture of an M6 in X². Here it is:

(Click to enlarge)

I also used to capture in X² in a Discoverer with IRE's. I'd do this by luring my prey into a Shield-Eating Nebula... you could capture any capturable craft using that trick!
[/Brag mode]

[apricotslice]

[Andaius]

Hehe you liked that Apricot?

Well I think my best was taking on a P patrol in my Explorer ship (Discoverer) and besting them after about like 2 hours worth of fighting. Man it takes some shooting to strip 3 X 125 mj shields. I don't know how I did it, I did however get some help by some passers-by.

[Hg|Merc]

i was in a dogfight in loo's legacy today waaay off into the minefield and lots of the enemy's m5's which do big attack run then run off and turn around kept straying too close to a mine. nothing more than a fluke, but fun.

[bendyspex]

In X2 I just parked my hercules right in front of the docking port on a Pirate base, then when they started coming out after me, they just flew straight into me. All I had to do was sit and watch as lots of little explosions happened at the front of my ship

[jlehtone]