Dark Haven - Chapter 7

[crunn]

Chapter 1 (Fate of the Armadeaus)
Chapter 2 (Portents)
Chapter 3 (Passing of a Fantasy)
Chapter 4 (Fissures in the Dark)
Chapter 5 (Reminiscence)
Chapter 6 (Things that go Bump...)



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DARK HAVEN

Chapter 7 (The Rocky Road)


Argon M3 Elites escorting Jubilee

"Lieutenant Commander, as you just heard from the Captain, we are to engage the Xenon M's.
Lock onto my target, the lead Xenon M, we will concentrate our fire on it first.
Once destroyed we separate and each take one of the survivors."

"Yes sir."

"The Xenon have begun firing at the Vulture, its shields are down to ninety five percent.
We'll be entering firing range in a few seconds, the M's have made a second pass, TS shields down to eighty percent."

The Elites closed the gap quickly and opened fire simultaneously on the first Xenon M. Each firing off two shots in quick succession.
The eight bolts of green plasma tore their way through space, the intense heat visibly giving off vapour. Inside each bolt, the careful observer could see the plasma swirling in an angry fury, almost as if it were desperately impatient to reach the target.
A moment later all eight AHEPT shots hit their mark dead on. Far more than enough for a kill.

The plasma overwhelmed the Xenon M. Fires erupted from within the ship as it blew apart, fragments of burnt metal were sent outward explosively. Several of these shards impacted on the shields of the Vulture.

"Nice shooting Commander"

"You too LC. Two to go, I've got the one on the left."

As the Lieutenant Commander targeted his Xenon M he glanced upward to see the Jubilee destroy the first Xenon L, the fireball from its explosion engulfing the front ten meters, or so, of the Jubilee. 'Shields should hold that fire out' the Lieutenant Commander though to himself.

He looked away from the Jubilee back to the Xenon M which was twisting and turning trying keep out of the crosshairs. It was flying away from the Vulture towards the center of the sector. The Elite entered firing range and let loose, enough of the shots hit the Xenon and it quickly broke apart.

...

The Commander gave chase to the evasive Xenon M. As it flew dangerously close to the Vulture it swooped around in front of the TS then under, turned one eighty degrees and slowed. The Xenon M opened fire, but not at the Vulture. The shots hit the Commanders Elite as he came around the TS.

"Damn, sneaky bastard! shields down to ninety two percent.
I swear these Xenon are getting smarter. Much less of them around these days, but their AI has certainly improved."

The Xenon M fired again as it began to accelerate towards the Elite, The Commander also let loose a few shots as he strafed to avoid the Xenons plasma. The first of the Commanders shots hit before the Xenon M veered over him and back behind the Vulture.

"This is getting annoying."

The Commander turned his ship and flew beneath the Vulture towards its rear end. He saw the Xenon M above him and pulled up hitting the boosters. The Xenon ship began to slow and turn, it also hit the boosters. The two ships collided head on, the Xenon splintering around the Elite.

"Attention, twenty five megawatt shield damaged."

"That got you.
Lost a shield though, third this month, AFC won't be happy."

...


Argon M6 Jubilee

"Lieutenant, bring the main guns up to full power, target the lead Xenon L."


The main weapons of the Jubilee are two GHEPT's aligned so close that the two spheres of plasma merge upon entering space.
Pierson smiled having never fired a weapon of such extraordinary power. He thought 'I wish I could have had one of these on my old Lifter, I'd have had no trouble from the pirates then. I'd like to see the new Delta High Energy Plasma Thrower in action. Still in the experimental stage and an M6 would never be able to mount one, but nice to see I'll bet, I hear they are a vivid blue colour.'


"Yes sir. The M's have made a second pass on the Vulture, shields down to eighty percent.
The L's have fired their first volley, fifty percent.
We will be entering firing range in six seconds.
Five, four, three, two, one."

"Hold fire Pierson.
Wait until we are right on them.
Target the second Xenon L with the turrets."

"Fire main guns.
Fire turrets."

The violent eruption from the main guns of the Jubilee was enough to send a small tremor through the ship.

Over such a small distance the Jubilee travelling at full speed seems almost enough to keep up with the plasma burst. As the ball of plasma neared the Xenon ship it was clearly almost half the size of the L.
The sphere engulfed the Xenon L.

"Bring us hard to port and reduce speed to one quarter, try to cut off the second Xenon L."

Too slowly, the Jubilee turned. Even before the first L had fragmented the M6 crashed through the wreckage, a fireball from the explosion surrounded the front ten meters of the Jubilee.

"Shields are holding at eighty four percent. The second Xenon L is firing at us.
We are taking hits, shields at eighty percent, seventy eight."

...

Moments after the GHEPT's fired so did the turrets. The two Gamma Particle Accelerator Cannon turrets fired as they tracked the second Xenon L. Many of the shots hit but the lower powered weapons weren't able to do much damage.

The Jubilee continued turning toward the remaining Xenon ship.
Long before the main guns were in line, the Xenon L started to move around the side keeping out of shot and still getting off as many shots of its own as possible.

"The Xenon's shields are down to sixty percent now, ours at seventy four.
It is ducking below us, now out of sight of the upper turret.
Fifty five percent to sixty five."

"Roll the ship, try to get the top turret back into play."

...

"The Xenon is out-manoeuvring us we can't get more than one turret in sight at a time.
Forty five percent to fifty four.
Captain this isn't going well. Perhaps we should launch the M5, see if it can distract the L long enough for the Jubilee to kill it."

"No Lieutenant, If an M6 can't take out an M3 the boys at the shipyard have some explaining to do.
Where are the Elites?"

"Still in combat with the Xenon M's. One down, the second is about to fall, the Commander seems to be having a little trouble catching his though."

"Very well, Put us back on a straight course away from the Vulture increase speed to two thirds.


"Yes sir."
'Ah, the old run>turn>fire trick perhaps.' he thought.

"Captain, the L has broken off and is heading back to the Vulture."

"Prepare to launch two silkworm missiles at the Xenon L.
Launch."

The missiles streaked from the rear launchers, the vapour trails leaving two vivid white lines against the black background of space.
Moments later the missiles struck their target and the Xenon L was destroyed.

"Captain, target destroyed.
The second M is down and, yes, the Commander has crashed into his. All Xenon Destroyed."

"How is the Commander?"

"Lost one shield, otherwise ok."

"We are receiving a transmission from the Vulture."

"Put it through."

"Thankss to you Argon shipss you have ssaved me much losesss.
May all your journeyss bring good profitss."

"Glad to be of help."

...

"Set course for the X8 gate."

The Jubilee with fighters back in formation, head in an easterly direction towards the asteroid field.

The Captain took her seat then brought up the sector map. 'No hostiles. The gate, sixty seven kilometres.'

Pierson noticed the two freighters were now headed away from the silicon mine. A quick scan of each from his console told him the Dolphin had arrived first. The Ganymede now returning home empty handed.

...

The Jubilee entered the asteroid field, the Elites taking the lead.

The giant rocks gracefully rotating, some drifting slowly.
Jessica thought to herself 'I wonder how often the asteroids collide.' She then amended 'Most likely they have long since established themselves in a pattern that no longer collides, many probably destroyed or combined in these collisions of old.'

"Ensign, track any of the drifting asteroids that will come near our path, we don't want to get in their way."

Lieutenant Pierson scanned several of the nearby asteroids for mineral content. All very low, several having obvious and deep scaring from being mined by the Teladi.

...

As the ships proceeded further into the asteroid field it grew ever more claustrophobic. Rock was much more the predominant visible feature, rather than the blackness of space.
A little way ahead there could be seen a nebula, pale yellow in colour, and though quite large, the paleness allowed visibility for some distance inside.

Pierson commented "This nebula is oddly still, normally they are more like that one to the north east."
On the display screen to the side of the main observation window he showed the north-easterly nebula. Very deep blue, a frenzied swirling of gasses. Probably couldn't actually damage a ship, but it certainly wouldn't be a comfortable ride.

"I don't think it is anything to worry about, Lieutenant. Besides this is as close as we will be getting."

The Jubilee and escort, now travelling less than ten meters per second, made a sharp right turn. Facing almost due south the gate could be seen nestled tightly amongst the rocks.

[UncleKnobby]

BRING BACK GRIMM

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[crunn]

Thanks UncleK.

Though to be honest I wasn't entirely happy with the fight sequence, (ie. most of the chapter)
I rewrote a couple of the paragraphs but I don't think it improved any.

I feel it's a little bland.
I did try to keep fairly close to the combat style of the game (improved the AI a little)

The fight isn't supposed to be that difficult, I think I got that across.

The main point of the chapter it to set up a plot line for later, (also to get the Jubilee to X8 of course)


But I definitely think there is something missing.
Perhaps not good enough or quantity enough description of the fight?
Mmmm, not sure.


Edit : I mean last chapter we had blood dripping from the walls, this time a few Xenon got shot.

[UncleKnobby]

BRING BACK GRIMM

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[crunn]

Perhaps a little more description of the explosion's, and maybe a little technical stuff from the fighter pilot's point of view.

Have you read any of the X-Wing book's?

Not a whinge, just offering sugestions.

All suggestions welcome.

Not read X-Wing books.
Most of what I read are horrors and thrillers (just a bit of sci-fi/fantasy)
(Which might explain why I do creepy, blood dripping from the walls 'n more creepy stuff better than combat space explosions.)

Good plan with the technical stuff by the pilot.
I'll either edit some of that in later or do better next chapter.

[UncleKnobby]

BRING BACK GRIMM

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[crunn]

Just please don't do a Stephen King on us, and have a realy crappy obvious, disapointing ending.

Actually I came up with the ending before I knew how the rest of the story was going to go.

The ending has evolved several times but the essence is still there.

There is a vague (though perhaps a little misleading) clue in the title.
Just as I've been trying to give meaning to each chapter title, or in most cases multiple meanings.
(I was quite proud of the Ch3 title "Passing of a Fantasy" triple meaning.)

[KiwiNZ]

Good read. As to you being unhappy with parts of the chapter, wait until you wrote a dozen, then, when you look back you will be worried. You will naturally improve your style as you go. All the other authors on here have gone through the same process.

Keep it up.

[Al]

Nice read. Keep it coming

Al

[Mercenary]

Good read.

As KiwiNZ says it's just a matter of practice whilst your writing style develops and settles down.

For battles it's always tricky to get the right feel and pace.

If, for example, you put the writing into the perspective of the pilot, use brief descriptions, short snappy coms messages. Describe sounds, but remember only ones relating to the ship not external sounds, as noise doesn't travel too well in space .. The faster the pace the more concise the descriptions need to be, but the quicker the events come together, whilst you roll sentences into one another so the readers eye moves continuously and quickly across the page without giving them a chance to breath. Avoid too many repetitive events, a ship should recoil only so many times.. Cut speech at awkward moments.. stuff like that..


Merc.

[Moss]

Good read Crunn, I thought the battle went quite well, losing 3 shields a month tho, now thats expensive!

The nebula/asteroid field was well described, I hope we get some areas like that in game

Looking forward to more, especialy of whats happening to Monroe, keep it coming.

[crunn]

Thanks Y'all.

Good ideas/tips.


Next chapter in a few days, I expect.
You'll be pleased to know, Moss, that we'll be back to Monroe.
(After that it'll be either AFC or Jubilee. Haven’t decided.)

losing 3 shields a month tho, now thats expensive!

Indeed.
As we see, the Elite Commander is not the most careful of pilots. He gets impatient and starts ramming things.
(Bit like me in the X-Shuttle. )