Traders Tale II - Chapter 3

crunn · Post by **crunn** » Mon, 5. May 03, 23:16

Excellent as always Merc.

Adamskini · Post by **Adamskini** » Tue, 6. May 03, 01:28

nicely finished of

\o/

Gandalf The White · Post by **Gandalf The White** » Tue, 6. May 03, 01:50

Mercenary · Post by **Mercenary** » Tue, 6. May 03, 09:04

Cheers all,

KiwiNZ wrote:
Found one thing that I feel could do with re-phrasing:
'The most memorable thing he could remember' -> two 'memories' in there.

I'll take another look, there are some other minor adjustments I want to make.

Al · Post by Al » Tue, 6. May 03, 10:21

Nice one Merc. Looks like Torr is going to be well defended out there but presumably he's going to need it!

One thing:

"Your security" should be "You're security"

Al

Mercenary · Post by **Mercenary** » Tue, 6. May 03, 10:43

Edited with a few other minor adjustment..

Cheers all.

SteveMill · Post by **SteveMill** » Tue, 6. May 03, 10:53

Good ending, nice details.

crunn · Post by **crunn** » Tue, 6. May 03, 13:12

Mercenary wrote:Cheers all,

KiwiNZ wrote:
Found one thing that I feel could do with re-phrasing:
'The most memorable thing he could remember' -> two 'memories' in there.

I'll take another look, there are some other minor adjustments I want to make.

You could try

"The most notable thing he could remember"
"The most unforgettable thing he could remember"
"The one thing he could not forget"

hth

Mercenary · Post by **Mercenary** » Tue, 6. May 03, 15:17

crunn wrote: You could try

"The most notable thing he could remember"
"The most unforgettable thing he could remember"
"The one thing he could not forget"

hth

Cheers Crunn,

Already changed...

Moss · Post by **Moss** » Tue, 6. May 03, 22:02

Yea caught up

nice read Merc, some interesting events happening, looks like Tor will soon be ready for the next phase, well maybe depends I supose on plans being finalised, and unforseen (by us

) problems!

Blackknight8x · Post by **Blackknight8x** » Thu, 8. May 03, 15:29

Merc,
i have only read this part but it sounds really good but i would like 2 read it from the start b4 i tell you how grate it is, so do u think you could send all parts to my email ? (including any more you write ?)

My email is steve8x@talk21.com

hope to hear from you soon,

BLACKKNIGHT8X

Mercenary · Post by **Mercenary** » Thu, 8. May 03, 16:07

Hi Blackknight,

No problem, currently at work so I'll post the 1st 2 Chapters to you.. They are also on the site here buried a few pages back..

Chapter 2 http://www.egosoft.com/x2/forum/viewtop ... sc&start=0
Chapter 1 http://www.egosoft.com/x2/forum/viewtop ... highlight=

Hopefully these links work..