The Tale of Ea't s'Quid, a Truly Savage Split.

[Triaxx2]

I'm not sure. I don't like to change games too often because it screws up the hot keys. I had to reload the Akuma fight several times because I'd hit the hot key for piracy and the Akuma would get deleted. Swapping back to this one had changed it to the destruct target key from the cheat package.

[Kirlack]

Hence I always turn destruct target off

Do you use mrbadgers savegame manager Triaxx? I always find when I shift to a different save with that my hotkeys are all screwed up, but I wasn't sure if it was just the game or the SGM causing it. I typically get my Turbo Booster swapped into FCC move station on x axes....

Bloody annoying!

Nathan, we love you really. Don't go changing tryin' to please us

[Triaxx2]

Nope, no manager at all. And I have turned that bloody destruct target key off. And it always shows back up, and always seems to get bound to something I use a lot. Usually the Manage CODEA carriers button. Pressing Shift-F5 and seeing your favorite destroyer disappear is very depressing. Not quite so depressing as seeing a jump gate vanish though. Nor a hard won Aran.

Now another chapter.
---

Chapter 17: Vengeance

The funeral of G't S'hht is one of those memories that we hold dear, and do not share with others. A Split Funeral is often a private affair. So it remains.

Arriving in Gunne's Crusade, I order the Hercules to position herself high in the sector, well above the trade lane. L'l'th's got temporary command, after the Ado Toneth suffered a minor collision with an asteroid on our way through Savage Spur. I really hate that sector. It's a miners paradise, and not that bad for combat purposes if you're running around in an M5. For anything else?

Split say: Arrggh! So in addition to repairing and arming the Akuma, a name for which I also need, I need the funds to repair Ado Doneth as well.

“What does Ado Doneth mean?” Morgan asked.

“Depends.”

“On what?'”

“L'l'th's mood. Anything from Sticking it to Them, to Ramming Speed.”

“So it's not actually Split?”

“No.”

“Ah.”

It's not long before I decide I need to move. There's very little traffic, for no good reason since it's a relatively safe passage between Rolk's Drift and Third Redemption. Instead I jump north to Haktikvah's Faith, bringing the Hercules along with me. There's a Minotaur moving south, from the west gate, but what I want right away is the Argon Military Supply trader heading northwest. Nothing, and there seems to be a general dearth of hardware flowing even here, though the trade lanes are absurdly full of traffic.

Fortunately, hitting up a Boron High-Tech Trader Bound for OTAS not only nets me 3 2GJ shields but several 1 GJ shields I can use or sell. While the Hercules supervises the recovery operation, I jump to the north gate to engage a Boron Military Supply Trader. He's carrying nothing. I pull up along side an abandoned Pleco and am contemplating taking it, when a Pirate Carrack, which had been making a mess to the south, heads my way. Watching it fight off some fighter drones, with the sound off is interesting. I'm about to pull away, not being interested in engaging in a boarding operation with that much flak going off, when a Split Military Tiger drops out of Thuruk's Beard. You'd be forgiven for thinking that the Tiger would deal with the Carrack with a laughable ease. I always thought so myself. What happens though, seriously surprises me. The Tiger does manage to kill the Carrack. But the angle of the Carrack means it's port batteries were firing back while the Tiger was unable to bring it's forward battery to bear. I watch the Tiger reach 21% hull. And bail.

I'm startled for perhaps two seconds, then I'm banging on the console, and screaming for Chu't to get his marines and get his ass here. We have a bird to board. It's a bit of a tense go about it, because the ship is sitting in front of the gate. There's no question of success though.

“Hang on, what's with the 21% hull? I know for a fact, that most marines will cause enough damage to bail from that point.”

“Split Train marines to perfect engineering.”

“That's what took so long?”

“Yes.”

“Sheesh. How much hull did the Akuma end up with?”

“60%”

“What the...” Morgan glared at him.

“Split have itchy trigger finger?” she rolled her eyes.

“Ah. Continue then.”

So after taking the Tiger, I had to bring the Hercules over to transfer the marines across to the Ares, since it was the only ship I had equipped with a transporter. With that done, I sent the Hercules to deliver the 2GJ shields to the Akuma, and the Ares north to the Family Pride Equipment Dock. The Tiger headed north on a long journey to the shipyard. At only 27m/s and without any armament, it would be vulnerable. So I called up the Carriers from Paranid Prime and had them tag along to defend it.

Unfortunately, without the expanded sensor field provided by the massive power generators of the Hercules, piracy is a much harder job than it seems. What's worse, without the Hercules remaining stationary, it's harder to keep track of more than one ship at a time. So instead of attempting to continue piracy and risking running into something that I'd rather not have to deal with, I decide to wait for L'l'th's return.

[Kirlack]

Nice! What have you got the NPC bailing set to? I only ask because with the default settings I never get a cap ship over 15% I might just be the unluckiest pirate in the 'verse though

[Triaxx2]

It's actually set at the default. I'm not sure why this particular game is more baily than say APR, possibly because Ea't is so scary.

Either way it's turned out pretty good. Pity the Akuma didn't bail. Would have been much easier. I think it seems to happen more often when I'm IS. I do know that the TL's almost always end up bailing when it's being attacked by a corvette, due to the weapon power/target discrepancies.

[Kirlack]

I'm not sure why this particular game is more baily than say APR, possibly because Ea't is so scary.

LMFAO!

Yep, that'd explain it alright

I guess I really am the unluckiest pirate around then

Maybe it's time I had a go at a Goner Pirate DiD...

[Nathancros]

Maybe it's time I had a go at a Goner Pirate DiD...

ahaha you might as well call that DiD "Giggity cause wat u'll mostly be doing is ramming

[Triaxx2]

Bit of a shorty

Chapter 18: Piratin' again

As soon as L'l'th jumps back in, I roll on a Teladi Military Supply Trader. Unfortunately my luck seems to have fallen apart. Several freighters later I pull up to the Hercules without any new cargo. I think it's time to move again, maybe down to the Loomanckstrat's area.

Not wanting to die from a mine, or a rock, I jump into Mi Ton's Refuge instead. Arriving I'm met with the hopeful sight of a Boron Military Supply Transporter. And the slightly less hopeful sight of a Thresher. L'l'th asks for an all-clear, but I wave her off. I can out run a Thresher, but the Hercules is far too big a target. The Transporter isn't carrying anything, but it's heading north. This means chances are good it will be heading south again soon, loaded with goods. Which also means that there will probably be others headed south as well.

Ordering L'l'th to move the Hercules to the Military Outpost in Rhonkar's Fire, I head towards the northern end of the sector, hoping to catch some laden military supply ships. However, almost as soon as I tell her that, she's getting a message to jump into the south gate of Loomanckstrat's, because I've gone and chased a Jonferco High-Tech Trader up there, and destroyed it, dumping some of it's cargo of Gauss Cannon ammunition into the depths of space. An Argon Weapons Dealer, flying an Eclipse, drops a Disruptor and some Mass Driver ammo, but with the exception of a Boron Military Supply Transporter carrying some energy, the area seems dead.

Jumping up to Family Whi, I send L'l'th west to Paranid Prime. In addition to delivering the Gauss Ammo to the Akuma, she's also going to deliver it a copy of the MARS software and some fighter drones to act as Goblins. Those will then repair the Akuma somewhat, not only saving me time, but also money.

I'm thinking I might have to put some cash out for some Gauss Cannons for it. Everyone has Gauss Ammo, but no one seems to be moving the cannons. Sending Speed Demon out of the EqD in Family Pride, to the Heavy Weapon Complex in Two Grand, I send a query to Ch't asking if he's got any energy to spare. It seems he does because the communication goes awry and the Ares jumps into Family Whi to follow me. Directly into the path of an oncoming Teladi Shrike.

[Triaxx2]

Chapter 19: Close Shave.

It's a testament to the skill of the helmsman on the Shrike and an utter, and uncontrollable fear of Ch't that I believe is the only reason there was not a serious gate accident. I hate to think of the kind of stress throwing a Shrike into full reverse causes. But that's what they did. At the same time, they began swinging it to starboard, and then throwing the engines back to full forward power.

Aboard the Ares, I was informed that they took a jatra to the auto-pilot to disable it and hauled up on the control yokes to pull up and avoid a broadside impact. Ch't has asked me, politely to 'Get me the hell off this ship!'

As far as I'm concerned, it's a death trap. My only problem is lack of places to put him. I suppose if I get the Akuma going I can put him in Squid Slayer. Picking on a Boron Energy Trader informs me there's a Gauss Cannon Forge in Seizewell. That's fantastic news.

Just one question? Where in the name of Rhonkar is Seizewell?

Ch't informs me it's just through the South gate of Teladi Gain. This is news to me. I didn't even know Teladi Gain had a south gate. Jumping through, the first plant I see is a Heavy weapons complex, with two Gauss Cannons and four FAA in I buy all 6 weapons, and then head south to see what else I can can find. 4 GC are available at the local forge, but an NMMC weapons dealer requires a bit of persuasion before he can be convinced that they rightfully belong to ME. The local authorities are upset, but accept my apology. L'l'th brings the Hercules in to collect them after the fuss is over. Six GC, accompanied by the Ion Cannon's captured with the Akuma, are enough to allow me to outfit one of the left/right turrets for maximum damage, and partially out fit the main gun. Combined with the FAA I'm finding, I might be able to achieve my goal. Of total World DOMINATION!

“Seriously?”

“I was drinking.”

“Figures.”

Calculating that I need 3 more Gauss Cannons, and perhaps 17 more FAA, I decide that I can solve two problems with one stone. Moving Ch't lock stock and jarhead into the Tiger, and selling the Ares should bring enough cash to finance the cost of the other FAA's and GC's. Selling some other assets nets me enough cash to purchase some of what I need. But mostly I need the Tiger to get to the Family Pride shipyard, so I can move Ch't and get the Ares converted into liquid assets. Before the faulty computers on it convert Ch't into space debris.

[Triaxx2]

Chapter 20: Vengeance

I've decided finally, on a name for the Akuma. Vengeance of a Shattered House.

With the Tiger approaching Family Pride at last, I'm going to move to the Vengeance and then head down to hit the two Shipyards in the southern sectors. The sale of the Ares will allow me to both outfit the Akuma with all the necessary software, as well as completely upgrading it to maximum speed and power.

From the Southern sectors, I'll jump up and hit Ocean of Fantasy, then cross into Lucky Planets.

Finally I'll Hammer Kingdom End into scrap. Then I can retire. The sale of an Akuma should finance me for the rest of my life. Yes, I'll be set then. Ah. The life of luxury.

It seems that the Goblins were not completely finished repairing my Akuma. Sitting near the Paranid EqD seems a bad idea because they can't see my 2km warship sitting dead still in space. Idiots.

Jumping to Depths of Silence, I begin my attack. The shipyard goes down without a fight, and I'm on to Great Reef. Great Reef is less of a challenge, and I jump to Queen's Harbor, honestly hoping for a fight. There are a couple of threshers and a Shark, but since I'm heading north, none of them do more than scratch the shields as I hammer one to shrapnel with the Gauss Cannons. There's a Thresher in Queen's Retribution, and I'm hoping it provides more entertainment than those to the south. It doesn't, but 10 GC makes short work of most things. Sadly, stations are not on the list of things that they make short work of. At least not until you get through the shields.

The Supershipyard in Queen's Retribution seemed to take forever to kill. With more than twice the hull integrity of the standard, it's rather an impressive piece of engineering. Fortunately, Gauss Cannons still win eventually. Ocean of Fantasy is the next hit on the list.

Meanwhile, Ch't has informed me he's sourced some IBL's, and wants some money to go get them. I'm not sure I really want to know where he's gotten them from or from whom. After shattering the Boron station, I notice there's a Xenon Q in the sector. I engage it, not out of any real empathy for the Boron, but out of a raging hatred of the Xenon.

“Really?”

“Split Young and Foolish.”

“Now?”

“Split Older and Foolish.”

“Figures.” Ea't grinned.

Jumping to Great Trench, and heading west, I enter Rolk's Legacy to a threat and a Ray. This is going to be FUN. It's not really, since the Ray has a surprisingly high rate of forward fire. Thankfully I manage to close range with a Turbo Booster and don't take as much damage as I could have. I might need a Refuel though.

Ch't has his IBL's now and he wants to join me for the attack on Kingdom End. I'm going to let him. As their home sector, it will be more heavily defended than the others. L'l'th has declined the offer to fight, though she's agreed to take the Ado Toneth for her self.

I have only one problem with the Akuma. It's so long that you can't have the forward and ass batteries firing at the same time.

“That sounds wrong you know.”

“Yes. Knew then too.”

“Did run into one minor issue. Ran out of Gauss Ammo.”

“How much did you have?”

“Fifty crates.”

“Not enough?”

“Not for five shipyards. Fortunately, there were more on the Hercules so L'l'th did participate as far as rearming me. Ch't renamed his ship. The Fangs of Violence. Few things are as deadly looking as an oncoming Tiger, but the Akuma is also one of them.

I left the two Carriers guarding Ch't's Flanks. I didn't expect a lot since we were heading into the home system of the Boron, but I've been surprised before.

Altering the load out to only energy weapons firing for the final push seems a good idea. That will prevent excess Gauss Cannon ammo usage. It's a three-sector crawl across Rolk's Drift, Queen's Space, and then the final push into Kingdom End.

A Shark sneaks up on me from the south in Rolk's. It's accompanied by a Kraken. Fortunately, Shield Buster jumps in and empties it's tubes into the Shark, the Kraken and it's entire salvo of forty Hammer Heavy Torpedoes. Yeesh.

Crossing Queen's Space, I encounter another Shark, and this one bails. Just a moment before the impressive fire from the Vengeance shatters it's hull. Pity, not that I really need or want a carrier, particularly a Boron one. Or could even take it without an M7M. Though selling the Vengeance would net enough to buy one.

Pointless anyway, since it you know, went boom. The fighters are no issue, and the turrets shred them efficiently and without issue. A Heavy Hydra Battlegroup turns out a bit more challenging and I slow down to deal with it. Ch't catches up and we catch the Heavy Hydra in a cross fire, blowing it to shreds. The Tiger has more FAA mounts than the Akuma, which is good because the Heavy fighters split up to engage the two capital ships. This is a mistake as I break out a few party favors, in the form of some Typhoons. Great little missile. I wish I had the patience to build some of them.

I admit feeling cheated. It's not nearly as hard to battle my way to Kingdom End as I thought it would be. I hope honestly, that the actual engagement is harder. But I fear that the Shark in Queen's End was the last Hurrah.

The battle begins at last. The Kingdom is about to meet it's end. Except that I forgot all about Rolk's Fate. Sadly the Thresher in the sector fails no better in it's bail attempt than the Shark did. Crossing the Sector, Fangs bashes great big holes in the enemies that engage it.

Entering Kingdom End, the most threatening thing around is the local Supply Orca, which vanishes almost immediately under the guns of the Vengeance. Pushing into the system, an Orbital Weapons Platform is next on the list. The local Military Outpost registers only three ships. A Heavy Hydra in Dark Waters, a second Heavy Hydra in Rolk's Drift behind us, and a Shark, all the way in Family Tkr. I send a burst transmission, asking the local authorities if they can keep an eye on it. They respond in the affirmative. As I approach the station, Ch't makes his entrance in his usual grand fashion. IE, by running over a trader. But up ahead a Ray is banking around from behind an asteroid. He's on a collision course with me. Not wishing to have the shield spanking encounter I did last time, I empty the last of my Typhoons into the air, and watch them wing towards it. They knock about a third of it's shields off, and my guns take care of the rest. Being already in range of the Military outpost, I swing around, and destroy it as I go buy.

Upon noticing the Ray, I had ordered Ch't to begin his attack run on the shipyard. He'd almost immediately gotten tangled up with a couple of TM's and was just beginning his attack when I arrived and between us, the station fell in short order. Surprisingly, where the Yaki had put up a considerable fight, the Boron were relatively simple to destroy. To the point that while Ch't's escorting carriers had launched their fighters, not a single fighter was destroyed. With the shipyard destroyed, I gave Ch't his last set of orders. Withdraw from Kingdom End, to the Family Pride shipyard, where the paperwork was waiting his signature to transfer ownership of the Fangs. Once he was out of the sector, taking his two new carriers with him I jumped to Cho's Defeat. L'l'ths last act as captain of the Hercules was to order it to Cho's Defeat. With Squid Slayer in tow as escort, it jumped into Cho's just as I signed the last of the paperwork selling the Vengeance.

I suddenly found myself 147 million credits richer. The Hercules, Squid Slayer, and Speed Demon now consisted my entire fleet. I finally picked a name for the Hercules.

Party Barge. Retirement at last.

[Triaxx2]

Epilouge

“So, that is the tale of Ea't s'Quid. Now go away.”

“No. You didn't answer everything. How did you end up in the bar? And how did you manage to meet and marry F'ght Fr'm R'ng?”

“I told you. I was young and foolish. And she's quite the beauty. More so when I'm drunk. Woke up married, got divorced, got broke.”

“Bad lawyer?”

“Split divorce simpler. Wife get all stuff, Husband get to live.”

“Sounds unfair.”

“Split do anything to get out of marriage.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Eh. Sometimes it works out okay. Parent's not kill each other. Try hard, but never quite succeed. Must be True Love.”

“Or poor marksmanship.”

“Entirely possible.” Ea't shrugged. “Mother never very good marksman when sober. Worse when drunk. Excellent Jatra Duelist. Teach sister.”

“Sister? Oh, right, the limp.” Ea't winced.

“Don't remind me.”

[Nathancros]

aahhaha the end?

If so, *stands and applauds*

If not *Is embarrased cause i applauded during the concert*


was it fun?

[Triaxx2]

Tremendously so, in particular the final crawl through those four sectors. It's a long bloody way from Ceo's Buckzoid to Kingdom End. Particularly at 67m/s.

The worst part was the waiting for the jarheads to finish so I could take the Akuma.

And yes, it is the end. I didn't feel as bad about ending this, because I know his story continues on in From Nothing.

[Zaitsev]

*stand up behind Nathancros and applaudes too*

Excellent story

[Triaxx2]

Thank you.

[Kirlack]

Awesome stuff Triaxx!

[the_chalk_outline]

I can't believe I missed this!!


Great short story Triaxx. Lovin ur work. Again some priceless comedic gems from the short tempered Split sushi chef. My ex wife must have had a split lawyer!

Cheers m8.

[Triaxx2]

Thank you. I kind of wonder where _Zap_ has got to, since he did such a fantastic job on APR, I was kind of hoping to have him do this too.

That would explain a lot then wouldn't it, eh?

[Kirlack]

I can compile this into PDF if you like Triaxx? I've been steadily adding my progress on PoE to a PDF file since it started, so I've had a little practice. Open Office has an export to PDF function that works quite well.

[Triaxx2]

That would be cool. I have Open Office, but I don't have anywhere I could host the file.