I think alot of these problems could be solved if Egosoft implemented a system to craft custom orders. A way to program your own AI behavior scripts, and apply them on your different ships.
In Final Fantasy 12 (gambit system) and Disgaea 6 and 7 (demonic intelligence or D.I.), they have a combat AI system the player can program themselves, where you could basically set a priority list of conditions and the actions your party members will take when those conditions evaluate to true. It would check the first condition, if it wasnt true, it would move on to the next, until the character had an action to perform.
For example, with your healer you'd create a priority list of, condition->action statements like this:
Priority 1: If target=self, HP<80%, Action=Cast Cure on target=self.
Priority 2: If target=self, is being attacked, Action=flee from target=attacker.
Priority 2: If Target=ally, hp<50%, action=cast Cure on target=self.
Priority 3: Else Target=enemy, HP=Least, action=attack.
So your healer would prioritize healing itself first, if it got attacked it would flee to lose aggro, and then focus on healing allies, then attacking the weakest enemy if your team was already fully healed. Then you'd have your tank character check to see who in your party, with the least HP is being attacked, and taunt the attacker, to pull aggro off them.
Then you could name and save the behavior as "Survive and Heal Party", and apply it to multiple characters at once.
Egosoft needs something like this. Imagine if you could craft your own 'default behaviors' or fleet-group orders in game. Although X4:Foundations is not turn based, they could run the priority action check at whatever time interval makes most sense for performance and optimization.
This could solve all the problems and complaints of the player base, if they provide enough options and choices for stat checks, targeting, target approach, formation with group members, retreat behavior (bee-line, evasive spiral to avoid projectiles like the blasted unhittable criminal traffic does), etc. Different flight patterns, distances, etc, would all be conditions and settings you could program in the behavior. It'd also be nice if they had a sensible 'aggro' system so you could have your tankier M-class ships pull aggro off one of your fighters thats getting wrecked so it has a chance to get away.
However, if that sounds too complicated, there may be a more streamlined way to accomplish this. For example, one way to stream-line it could be with power settings like they have in Elite Dangerous and Starfield. Energy to weapons and shields, no energy to engines = siege/stand ground mode, the weapons energy increases range, damage, reload, and/or fire rate, shields energy increases damage reduction % and recharge rate/delay, lack of energy to engines slows or stops the Destroyer from moving or turning much. You'd couple the power distribution setting and stat buffs/nerfs from how you distribute power, with the inferred AI Pilot behavior that makes sense according to the power distribution setting. I take my own swipe at how it would look in this post here:
viewtopic.php?f=181&t=459892
Power to weapons and shields = stand ground/siege/Defend,
Power to shields and engines = Flee/Lose Aggro/Seek Backup,
Power to engines and weapons = Offense/Aggression/Hunt down.
Having power distribution settings along with programmable AI condition->action priorities would also be a cool combination and provide a TON of strategic depth to the gameplay, and tinkering fun for the player, especially in combination with different weapon loadouts.
They could even extend this system in a less complex form to traders, miners, player pirates, smugglers, etc.
I recommend looking up the FF12 gambit system and the Disgaea 6 and 7 'Demonic Intelligence' systems for inspiration, and ideas on how to implement it in a user friendly UI.